About 15 years ago my mother, who was always helping people, was asked to be the HC POA for a "friend of a friend" who had no family willing or able. She had my dad be the backup. My parents were in their early 60s and in good health at the time. Time has passed, though.
A few months ago, my mom passed away so my dad — now in his late 70s and in poor health himself due to Parkinson's — is the new HC POA by default. He does not want to be the HC POA because he doesn't feel comfortable he will make good decisions, but there doesn't appear to be anyone in this woman's family willing to be HC POA and my dad would feel guilty if she became a ward of the state.
Is there anything good I can tell him about what will happen to this poor woman if he resigns? They are in Indiana.
In the meantime, the nursing home where the woman lives began harassing my dad for money. He is not the financial POA; that is a trust handled by a bank. He has absolutely no access to her funds. The nursing home sent him a bill for almost $100,000 in his name, not the woman's. It seems the funds in the trust from this lady's meager pension haven't been enough to cover her monthly nursing home costs but they can't evict her. I'm not really sure exactly what the issue is, that's just what my dad thinks has happened.
My dad doesn't have a lot of money and is worried he is going to lose his house. I keep telling him he has no financial obligation and just needs to tell the nursing home that. He will hire an attorney if he has to, but he doesn't really have the money to do that [if it comes down to it, though, I'll pay for it for him].
What can I do to help? I have never met this lady and live out of state so I can't be the HC POA. Due to the Parkinson's, my dad isn't great at communicating, especially over the phone. Should I call the nursing home, or will that just end up getting me involved?
That may mean she is incompetent under the law.
He cannot resign by a simple letter and he MUST resign.
It is time for your father to see an attorney to get a legal resignation of this POA done.
He isn't Trustee of the Trust, so any letters for payment should be going to the Trust.
This is a mess he cannot/does not understand and his good intentions count for nothing here. You cannot function when you don't understand the intricacies of these legal things.
If your father knows which bank is Trustee for this woman he should make an appointment with them, tell them that he is going to an attorney to resign POA. This will give heads up to the Trustee, which may BE the bank.
There is no substitute for legal help in these situations. This serves as a good warning to people not to attempt to do things out of sympathy. This will likely run close to 5,000 for an attorney to go to court with letter of resignation, sadly. But this needs to be done.
You might consider calling APS for some guidance here before investing all this money in attorney. They do have outreach to judges and may be able to accept your father's letter of resignation? It is worth a try. Be there with him to help.
This isn't a matter of choice, a matter of nice or not nice. THIS MUST BE DONE NOW.
I agree, I would not gool around with the NH you need a lawyer to write a letter saying that as Medical POA Dad is not responsible for payments due. They need to contact the financial institution who has been paying the woman's bills. I would think if money is gone, its the financial institutions responsibility to apply for Medicaid. And as of this date, because of age and health problems, Dad is revoking his Medical POA.
At that point, if there is no one handling her Financial and now Medical, she can become a Ward of the State and the NH can apply for Medicaid. Your Mom was a good lady, but I would never have taken over Medical POA for a friend of a friend. I had my Moms and now my Nephews. My DH and I will be getting ours for each other. These are all I will have.
I live in AZ and you just need to send a letter of resignation to the principal. It doesn't matter if they can understand or not. It only gives authority to act on someone's behalf, it DOES NOT make you liable for them in any way, shape or form.
I would suggest sending the NH a copy along with a letter telling them that MPOA has NOTHING to do with payment and they need to leave your father alone about payment. He is not responsible for her bill and no matter how they spin it, he isn't responsible and them continuing to harrass him will be dealt with as such.
If they do not stop, that's when I would get an attorney involved.
Best of luck dealing with these scumbags.
Let your dad know that the state will assign someone to oversee her care and being in a nursing home means not much will change. She probably won't see any difference in her life at all.
Revocation of Power of Attorney
I. ___________________(name of dad) hereby revoke the powers vested in me via the Power of Attorney executed by _______________(Name of Lady) on the ____ day of ______, 1999.(Whatever the date is), due to mental incapacity.
Signed this ___day of _______, 2025.
__________________________
(Signature)
Dad's typed name
State of _____________
County of ____________
BEFORE ME, the undersigned authority, on this ____ day of _________, 2025 personally appeared NAME OF DAD, who upon oath deposed and stated that he has executed this document for the purposes and considerations herein expressed.
SEAL _________________________
Notary Public
Letter to Nursing Home: (send 1 by regular mail and one by certified mail.) The Green Receipt card will be sent back to you evidencing their receipt of this letter
DAD'S NAME
DAD'S ADDRESS
DAD'S PHONE NUMBER
April 29, 2025
CEASE AND DISIST
Sent Via
Certified Mail
Return Receipt Requested
and Via Regular Mail
Name of Nursing Home
Address
Re: Name of Patient
Revocation of Power of Attorney for NAME OF LADY
Dear sirs:
Enclosed please find my Revocation of Power of Attorney for NAME OF LADY.
I am not responsible for any services provided to NAME OF LADY in your care and all invoices should be directed to the Trust at SUCH AND SUCH BANK.
Demand is made to cease and desist in any form of collection efforts, either written communication or telephone communication to me at this address and phone number above.
Your immediate attention to this matter is appreciated,
Sincerely.
(Dad's signature)
TYPED NAME OF DAD
This will take care of the problem and you do not need a lawyer.
P.S. There are many forms on line to look at but I worked for lawyers for 40 years and this will remedy the situation.
Hire an elder law attorney to write a letter of resignation to send to the nursing home and also to cease and desist harassing him about any money.
I'm not sure what happens legally when someone who is incapacitated has a FPoA but not a MPoA. Not sure how guardianship works in this instance. That's for her FPoA and her facility to figure out. There is no other option in this situation. My personal experience with a court-assigned guardian for my SFIL was a good one.
You dad will not lose his house over this lady friend's NH situation. What will happen with your poor dad if he does Not Pay?? Collections?? How rediculous! If your dad is forced unto the street, he cannot help anyone, anyway.
And please, neither your dad nor you send a red cent to that NH on behalf for a friend. This is Not your dad's financial responsibily and costs are very expensive for a lady who may live for years in her long term care. A lawyer, even a judge, decides who will pay, not Your Dad, nor you. He is only a friend of a friend's. Medicaid should have been set up for this lady friend when her funds were to about to run out.
It's nice to help someone, but everyone should think of the consequences of a decision with POA for a precious life. If that legal decision was mine, I would have Never taken POA's responsibility for anyone but family, or even anyone at all.