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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
iloveleah, My MIL said "If I ever want to come live with one of you kids, you know I have lost it." Well, when she lost it, she wanted one of us to live with her. "That's totally different" she insisted. We talked her into Assisted Living and she had a darn good time, like going on a cruise. It just never left the dock.
I don't work, have plenty of room and felt obligated to take my mother in when Assisted Living asked her to leave. She was a danger to herself and others. If it is an obligation then neither of you will get much out of it. You know what you can handle and what you cannot. I thought I could do it but after 3 months I realize I was wrong.
Stick to your convictions. No guilt. AC Forum is full of stories from people who thought that taking in a parent would be OK, and it deteriorated into a resentful, depressing slog. There are also stories from people who had reservations about taking in a parent, did it anyway, and it was worse than they ever imagined.
Granted, it does not have a negative outcome for everyone. But if you are doubtful, there's your answer. And rehearse your lines in the mirror, because short-sighted people will come out of the woodwork to tell you how wrong you are. Repeatedly. (A personal favorite: I got the predictable line of sh*t from someone who absolutely will not move his widowed 80-something mother into his furnished guest suite w/private bath in the lower level of his house.) You'll get some guff from the misery-loves-company crowd, too.
You can certainly have a positive impact on mom's aging without sharing a refrigerator with her. Logistics, advocacy, appointment-setting, driving, financial oversight, research, visiting, light chores, etc etc.
Mom alreadly lived the bulk of her life. You have several decades to go. You deserve to choose the path that keeps you sane, clear-headed and in control of your own earning power. Anyone who claims to care about you (including mom) should want this for you, too.
You're on the right track. Living with those you caregive for isn't for everyone. There is no obligation on your part to take your Mom in. Don't feel guilty or bad. FOG =fear, obligation and guilt. Nobody needs FOG ever.
If you feel strongly about it, then I would follow my gut. There must be reasons that it doesn't feel right for you.
I live with my parents and it works out great. I moved in to help with their care and transportation during a time they had both had health crisis, but now they are much better and I'm considering staying. lol
My parents are lovely people, though, there are always some issues. But, still, if I didn't feel comfortable, I would not think twice about it. There are other options and both of you would likely be much happier with that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Granted, it does not have a negative outcome for everyone. But if you are doubtful, there's your answer. And rehearse your lines in the mirror, because short-sighted people will come out of the woodwork to tell you how wrong you are. Repeatedly. (A personal favorite: I got the predictable line of sh*t from someone who absolutely will not move his widowed 80-something mother into his furnished guest suite w/private bath in the lower level of his house.) You'll get some guff from the misery-loves-company crowd, too.
You can certainly have a positive impact on mom's aging without sharing a refrigerator with her. Logistics, advocacy, appointment-setting, driving, financial oversight, research, visiting, light chores, etc etc.
Mom alreadly lived the bulk of her life. You have several decades to go. You deserve to choose the path that keeps you sane, clear-headed and in control of your own earning power. Anyone who claims to care about you (including mom) should want this for you, too.
I live with my parents and it works out great. I moved in to help with their care and transportation during a time they had both had health crisis, but now they are much better and I'm considering staying. lol
My parents are lovely people, though, there are always some issues. But, still, if I didn't feel comfortable, I would not think twice about it. There are other options and both of you would likely be much happier with that.