I am a caregiver for my mother and my sister lives about 10 minutes away and I have to literally guilt her into coming over on a Sunday afternoon so I can get a break. I get so frustrated that I have to do this that I find myself becoming very aggressive towards my sister in conversation and then she comes up with all of these opinions based on her 2 hours a month on how to care for my mother. Does anyone have any advice on this subject? I am slowly burning out. Thank god for respite care.
From my perspective on your situation, you really need to let go of this anger at your sister. She’s not bothered at all by it, and it’s eating you up. As far as being there to beg money from Mom, well, it didn’t come out of YOUR pocket. She’s the one who has to live with that. It may have been an emergency situation for her and the only one she could turn to was Mom. When sister makes comments, smile and say “Thank you for your input. I’ll take it under consideration!”
See if you can ramp up the respite care. Even to the point of inquiring at your church if they have volunteers who might provide an hour visit here and there. And, there’s always placement in a facility.
There are natural nurturers and then there are people like your
sister, my sister. Like a lot of
people's sisters and brothers etc.
If she thinks she is qualified to give you advice based on nothing she sounds like a pain and I doubt nothing you could say will change that.
Was it your choice? Was your sister consulted? Was there an agreement in place that she would relieve you on a regular basis? What alternatives are available for your mother's care?