I'm 100% on when mom is alert enough and it's nice to be present for her. For her final days, I don't want to be worn out. I just want to be present for this part of the journey. Mom's doctor and home health have recommended hospice. She's declined and in bed, not eating much and doesn't want to see the doctor or go to the hospital. I visited a place near by her home where she will have help and hospice can take place.
I've sent out status text messages to family and tonight let them know about hospice care. One family member seemed surprised. I asked for input or help along the way and heard absolutely nothing other than "keep me posted". With this message about finding a place and hospice, I am getting a barrage of messages now that I should "respect her wishes" and keep her at home. I didn't fully read one message after I saw that I was called irrational for not keeping her at home. I have kept her in her home. One person can't do this 24/7.
I am venting here tonight because mom's words to me after her last ER visit is "no one came", "they are all just waiting for me to pass and get their share". I sense her loneliness and I remain, making a project of cooking, decluttering, etc. But it's now my loneliness, and I need a life. I'm with mom to her end but I can't do so risking my well-being further.
Your plan for mom sounds perfect. Time to be her loving daughter. Leave the caregiving to the professionals
This is a common process when one does everything and the others sit on the side line.
Your plan is perfect, keep moving forward. My very best!
I don't think that I would involve them anymore. I think that they have made themselves crystal clear and you have done the best you can.
I completely agree with moving her where you are not on 24/7 as the caregiver. Sounds like they are worried about their inheritance.
It takes a village and since they are not willing to step up you must do what you feel will be best for you and mom.
Such a difficult time, hugs and may God grant you strength and wisdom to deal with your family.
If not, I suggest you ask them what contribution they plan to make towards the work involved in achieving this important goal. Note: sniping at you does not count as work.