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My 94-year Mom recently moved into a retirement home. She has settled in well. She enjoys getting meals delivered to her apartment, but has little to no interest in socializing (going downstairs for meals or engaging in activities). Her appetite is good. Sometimes, we can interest her in a tv show, although her attention-span is minimal. Her hearing is poor (she has refused hearing aids). We have a PSW walk her x2 daily, although Mom is only willing to walk down the hallway x1 each time.
My concern is that she sleeps—a lot. She gets tired in the early afternoon, and takes a nap. The PSW gets her up for dinner, and Mom wants to go to bed right after dinner. She even nods off during visits, and just wants to go to sleep. She’s already in bed by 6:30 p.m.
It seems as though she’s retreating/going inward.
I’m wondering if anyone else has encountered this with their parents who are over 90 years old.

It is, Danielle--very normal. And we often get this question on AC. My own Dad said that, thought well in every way in early 90s, and having had a wonderful life, that he was pretty much exhausted all the time. He hated to get up in the morning and he longed for naps and bedtimes. He tried so hard, for my worried Mom, but he had little appetite and wanted, as he called it, "the last long nap".
It's difficult for us to imagine when young, but I at 82, assure you, we get more and more and more tired, and we long more and more to sink under that feather tic.

If you research "elders and sleep patterns" you can learn a lot. Especially if there are any dementia issues at all, one is VERY LUCKY when sleep is the longing, and not agitation.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Danielle123 Jan 14, 2025
Thanks so much, AlvaDeer. This is very helpful.
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Your mom at 94 years of age I'm sure is tired. I'm guessing we all will be at that age.
As one nears the end of ones life they also tend to sleep a lot.
So whether your moms life is nearing its end or if she's just tired, I say to just let her sleep as she's earned the right at 94 to do as she pleases.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I think you’ll find this pretty common. My dad turned into a world class napper as he aged more. His body and mind, despite having no dementia, were simply tired. The same activities didn’t hold their old interest anymore. Sounds like your mom is doing well for her age
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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My 95-yr old Mom (who is probably way more physically active than her cohorts) has recently started to sleep in longer. She was always an early riser (6:30am), and went to bed about 10pm-ish. She is now waking up and starting to function at 8:30 or 9am and it's driving her crazy. She does also doze off watching tv in the afternoons.

This new routine doesn't alarm me at all, since she's not on any new meds and has been slowing down on all fronts of late. As we age it takes a lot more energy to do a lot less of what we used to do. And, it takes us longer as well.

My 105-yr old Aunt was (up until recently) still getting up at 6 or 6:30am -- and she's been retired since 1977! She would have 1 afternoon nap for about 1 or 1.5 hrs, then function alertly the rest of the night, and went to sleep at about 11pm. This is my Mom's sister. It's all so individual.
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Reply to Geaton777
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My Dad will be 93 next month and is the same. He does have dementia and hip replaced TWO YEARS ago. He can no longer stand alone and recently went incontinent. We never imagined he’d last this long. He is always drifting off. When he’s awake I tell him I’m not going to sit and watch him sleep, he says “get out of here while you can!” His sense of humor is still showing through. Hugs to you!
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Reply to SueZ1250
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Tatanka6 Jan 20, 2025
I love your dad’s humor! God bless his heart and you for caring about him.
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My 96 y/o dad sleeps constantly. He fell asleep yesterday in the sitting room with my husband and I sitting there with him. I waited a half hour for him to wake up,

He's old and has earned the right to sleep whenever he wants.

His vitals are better than mine. Despite being incontinent blind and immobile and having mild dementia, he is healthy.

I am not concerned.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Sleep is important. Let your mom sleep. She is 94 and that's incredible!
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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it was much the same for both of my parents ages 94 and 95 in assisted living place. Nothing to be done. Other things begin to stop and eventually it was hospice time. I miss them!
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Reply to karenlee53
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At 94, let her do whatever she wants. She is probably winding it down and will sleep more and more until she passes.
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Reply to LakeErie
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I work in hospice. Not trying to alarm anyone but sleeping alot, fatigue, lack of speech, no socializing, no energy to walk, declining food starts to happen in the final stages of all forms of dementia or advanced senility of the brain. The brain an organ could take up to 3 decades to fully deterioriate, and all of these things described would qualify this person for the daily benefits of hospice. All of these things considered normal part of the experience as the body just slowly shuts down. Perhaps talk to the community nuse about a referral to hospice..
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Reply to PennyAmes
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jemfleming Jan 20, 2025
Aside from pain relief, if there is any chronic pain, what are the daily benefits of hospice when they reach the stage where they sleep more and more and interact and eat less?
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