Our mother is somewhat capable of managing her affairs. I am financial POA but not in effect. Our sister is pressuring mother into paying for her mortgages, car payments, cash, and the like. No other siblings live in same town. This has been the "elephant in the room" for years but now stops our mother from spending money on her needs of care givers, medical services, etc. Social worker was no help at the geriatric center.
Last time all siblings were in same town the sister disappeared. She said she had to work while we were just there visiting and welcomes a family meeting. I have asked for us to have sibling meeting to discuss what is happening. I want her to stop taking money from our mother and live as she is able on her income. She plays the twice divorced card and yet has a house worth more than anyone else in the family that our parents bought for her. Our mother is twice suicidal due to pressure from all the stress of money matters.
How do I bring up that she is taking so much money from our mother. Over $450 a week from ATM. It seems that literally buying her a house was not enough.
Your Mom has a soft spot for her, probably because she's either the eldest or the runt. But until she learns to say "No" and mean it, sis over there will keep taking advantage and leave you to deal with the wreckage.
Roll up your sleeves and tie your hair up. This one might get ugly.
At the very least, all funds given to sister should be accounted for and addendum drawn up to estate will stating that this $$ will be deducted from sisters share of the estate in the end...provided any is left.
I would tell her she isn't getting one more dime and if she needs money, get a second job, a roommate or sell the house and move someplace she can afford.
Yes, if they are competent, they can do as they please. But you might tell them, calmly and not in a fit of anger, that they will be ineligible for assistance down the road due to gifting of their assets. And that you will not be available to provide care. Find out how much Assisted Living and Nursing Homes cost in your area.
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