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My 94 year old father is in assisted living. They have healthy meals 3 times a day. My dad loves breakfast and says that is all that keeps him going. He refuses to eat whatever they serve for lunch or dinner. He will go back to his room and drink Ensure and eat a banana and anything sweet he can get his hands on. He has always been a picky eater but it's gotten worse lately. Could this be a natural part of aging that makes him not want real food? He loves anything sweet and I cannot keep enough sweets in his room. On the other hand, he complains that he can't eat anything they serve for lunch or dinner.

94? It sounds to me that he may have found the secret to life.
I am teasing you, but I seriously would not meddle in the food choices of someone 94.
Leave him be. As a retired RN I can tell you that MOST people in their 90s eat only one meal a day, and that sustains their needed level of activities. It is amazing how little it takes to keep us going.
And of course, no matter our food choices, we will none of us live forever.

Best out to you. Do all you can in the coming year to give your beloved father HIS OWN CHOICES in life whenever you can. Old age is such a time of loss piled upon loss (I guarantee you as an 82 year old). So you want him to have his own choices without your input whenever he is able, and this food choice is one of those times, imho.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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HopeCalmPeace Jan 7, 2025
Always appreciate your pragmatic suggestions. As a care giver from afar I’m able to pass on your wisdom to siblings doing hands on care for mom.
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Its not a natural part of aging, but a natural part of dementia that elders lose their taste for most things except sweets. At 94, with dementia, who really cares WHAT he eats? Humans require much, much fewer calories to thrive than we think they do. My mother used to order ice cream at lunch AND dinner when she was in Memory Care Assisted Living. Plus I'd bring her plenty of sweets to snack on. She lived to 95 and died of dementia and CHF.
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All these answers are on point. Something I do with my mother (and a discussion I have to have repeatedly with other family members) is a mental exercise - How do *I* want to be treated when I am older? What do I want from my family? my caregivers? etc. Almost inevitably it comes back with "I want my autonomy" "I want to be respected" and "unless I'm walking into traffic, LET ME DO WHAT I WANT" I know it may sound harsh to say this but, we are ALL going to die some day...do we want to be miserable in our final years or enjoy the little things we have that might give us some joy? She almost always gets what she wants ;)
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AlvaDeer Jan 8, 2025
Beautiful.
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anikaa, neither of my parents had dementia until their final year (also in their 90's). As we age we tend to lose some of our sense of taste, but we still enjoy sweets. I know that has happened to me.


I figured at their age, if they want ice cream for breakfast, you ask if they want one scoop or two.


I remember my Mom's grocery list. Each week she had ice cream, Little Debbies, Hostess, bakery made pie or cake, Pepperidge Farm cookies (soft), chocolate chip muffins, along with a chicken or hamburger, and frozen veggies.
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Reply to freqflyer
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You ask what to do about your father only wanting to eat sweets and my answer to you is let the poor man eat and enjoy his sweets.
I mean he is 94 years old and he now deserves to eat what he wants and if he wants.
No one better try telling me what I should be eating at that age. In fact, no one better tell me now at 65 what I should or shouldn't be eating. We will all have to live with the choices that we make.
And what's the worst that will happen to your father by just eating sweets, other than him enjoying himself and maybe dying a year or 2 earlier?
I've shared this true story on this forum several times now but I will share it again. One of the ladies in my caregiver support groups mom(who had dementia)lived to be 103, and only ate ice-cream and cashews for the last 5 years of her life.
That to me sounds like the perfect diet to enjoy the last years of ones life, don't you think?
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knits4pixies Jan 4, 2025
Lolol — that is such a good story. Thank you for that laugh today! And I agree with all the comments here — why not let him eat what he wants? It sounds like he’s getting a decent breakfast plus an Ensure and a banana, which is already a lot better nutrition than many seniors are consuming. Be at peace, if you can, and let him enjoy living the dream we all had when we were little kids — unlimited desserts. :)
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My mother is 99, she eats mainly sweets has for years...and she is still with us.

Let him eat whatever he wants, he has earned the right!
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Reply to MeDolly
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I mean he is is 94, I would just let him enjoy eating what he wants unless all the sweets are messing up his quality of life. By that I mean problems with high blood sugar, and symptoms related to that. If he is still comfortable and relatively healthy then yeah let him.
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Reply to Calcifer94
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Your father is 94. Let him eat what he wants.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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If I get to be 94 I'm eating what I want. Your father may feel the same way. If he's eating Breakfast and then having protein drinks as a meal there is nothing wrong with that.
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Reply to Jhalldenton
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My father in law is 90. He lives with us and at first I used to try to force good food for him. But now, honestly, if he likes his sweets, I do not badger him about it. I think to myself, he is 90, lived a good life, and should be able to enjoy this time he has left eating whatever he wants. Good luck with your Dad Anikaa.
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