My father was originally diagnosed with Alzheimer's 10 years ago and two years ago the diagnoses was changed to Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA). He lives at home and my mom takes care of him with respite help once a week. He at times gets agitated over one thing or another. If not calmed down he will try leaving the house. When my mom tries to stop him he gets aggressive and my mom calls me to try to help calm him down. I live over an hour away. It is starting to get more frequent. Not sure what advice to give my mom, but more needs to be done. He either needs a medication change or some sort of memory care. My mom does not want to put him in a home yet. Due to Covid she is afraid we won't be able to visit him. Local "adult day care" facilities are not accepting new clients. My dad expressed this summer that he wants to go to a home. Not sure where to go from here?
If your Dad really wants to go live in a home, take your Dad to visit a couple homes.
Let you Dad know that right now with the Covid, there would be no visitations.
Find hobbies for your Dad as he is probably very bored.
Mare sure your mom has a Caregiver come in at least a few hrs a couple times a week to give her a break
As long as Mom can stay in denial about what is inevitable is as long as she will be calling on you to help what cannot really BE helped. Unfortunately not everything can be made perfect and not everything has a "fix it" solution now. I am so sorry for the grief which is clearly now a part of all of your lives.
Since he’s medicated already, contact the prescribing physician and give that person a brief description of Dad’s behavior. What he SAYS is not as important as what he DOES. If his behavior improves with a different medication, encourage your mom to get on line and take a look at residential settings that are close to her home.
Visiting early on is not as important and sometimes not as advisable, as it is as residency progresses.
Please urge your mother to plan an escape route from her home in case he moves to injure her. Also, if she hasn’t done so, encourage her to start making a list of what triggers his negative behaviors so that she can possibly avoid his triggers whenever possible.
Window visits can be made at most Memory Care ALFs. My mother lives in one and we window visit her on Sundays. She sits in a chair about 2 feet away from us, separated by a glass window, and we speak to her over the phone. The covid vaccines will be administered to all long term care facilities within the next few months, so indoor visits should resume after they're all vaccinated.
Wishing you all the best of luck making the right decision for BOTH of your parents!