He has been active with his cattle calf industry but no longer has a desire to get up and take care of them. Only wants to watch TV. But when I mention selling them he goes into a crazy tizzy. I am lost on what to do. Upsetting him is awful. But it is too much for me to work, caretake him and the cattle. It is so difficult to take away because some days are good.
He has Dementia/ALZ and can no longer reason or have empathy towards u. In it was me, I think these are the first things to go. They become like Toddlers. They need structure. I doubt if he went out to care for them, he would remember how to do it right. Me, they would be gone. Like Tot said, leave a couple but get rid of the rest. When he doesn't see any cows, tell him they must be way out in the field or in the barn.
Really, since he never goes out, would he know if they were there. Maybe find a way to get him away from the house and let someone come and get them.
Cattle can be a valuable asset and OP has her hands full with her own work and her husband’s care.
A couple thoughts. Mum has a cousin who is now a widow and she and her late husband raise beef cattle. After her husband died, she sold off all but a couple cows. One was an old favourite, well past her prime, but almost a pet. She kept another cow which she has bred each year since his death. She could not imagine not having any cows around. Could you sell off most the herd and just keep one or two? Then when you hubby has a good day, he has a couple cows around. Can you lease your fields if you have a hay operation too?
Mum's cousin at 82 is now thinking of selling the land and moving into town. She has lived on the remote ranch for 50 years or so, it will be hard for her to leave, but she is not looking forward to another winter.
Second thought, do you know of any young farmers who maybe interested in taking over the operation? Perhaps you can make an arrangement for them to buy the herd, lease the property, allowing you and your husband to stay in the house for the time being?