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The family dr said there is cognitive decline Is this dementia? What else do I do

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Yes, this is dementia, I'm very sorry to say. You need to take away his car keys immediately. How soon is your neurologist appointment? Be assertive in telling the neurologist of ALL his behavioral changes and issues. Make a list so you don't forget anything. This will help the neurologist to start determining what kind of dementia it likely is, and also help determine what kind of medications your husband needs. (Medication can't cure dementia but it can help calm down the symptoms.) If you have a concern for his safety because he is recklessly leaving the house, or for your safety because he is threatening you, take him to the ER and ask them to admit him as an inpatient, Be aware of "showtiming," when dementia patients can step up and act normal to minimize their symptoms for doctors or other authority figures, so again, be prepared to present the whole picture to the neurologist. And as the others suggest, get your financial affairs in order. Monitor what he is doing financially. This is prime time for him to engage in impulsive irresponsible spending and/or fall victim to scammers.

You have my very deep sympathy. It is a shock when this happens.
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Reply to MG8522
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This driving all night thing - I know two men who did that. One roamed around interstates all night, all day and another night, when he jumped his car over a curb. Police came, called next of kin, and he never drove again. He went to a memory care unit as soon as it could be arranged. The other guy took off one evening and drove 80 or so miles to a big city, where he couldn't find a restroom. So he peed in a condominium guard shack. Next of kin were called and he soon ended up in a VA hospital until he eventually died peacefully of dementia.

Both of them could have died in terrible accidents and taken others with them. Both of them could have been mugged, hurt, shot or kidnapped while being carjacked, because there were some rough areas they drove through.

When this starts happening, it's time for drastic measures in order to protect their safety.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Getting lost while driving is WAY more than just some "cognitive decline" but is in fact dementia.
And someone driving with dementia and a broken brain is no different than someone driving drunk or high on drugs, so PLEASE for the love of God DO NOT allow your husband to drive ever again!!!
He could kill or seriously injure some innocent person on the road ways and you would never be able to live with yourself if he did.
So take away his car keys, or have someone come disable his car so he won't be able to drive.
All night confusion is called sundowning and falling and obsessive behaviors have dementia written all over it.
What you need to do now is educate yourself now about this horrific disease so you're more prepared for what lies ahead. I always recommend the book called The 36 Hour Day as a place to start and Teepa Snow( a dementia expert) has some good books as well, along with lots of excellent videos on YouTube about dementia.
Make sure that you have all your legal ducks in a row now because as your husband gets worse and guaranteed he will, he won't be able to legally do any of that. So get your POA's in order along with any other legal items such as wills, trusts, and the like in order.
This journey won't be easy, but the best thing you can now do is not be in denial about your husbands dementia, and again to educate yourself about dementia.
I wish you well as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Yes, it very likely IS. I am certain this was not sudden onset?
The first thing you need to do is make certain you and hubby have all paperwork in place, which starts with wills and POAs. See an attorney together if not.

The second thing you do is get the best, most definitive diagnosis you are able.

The third thing you do is learn all you can online and through other research organizations about the type of dementia you are dealing with and what to expect (other than the unexpected).

The fourth thing you do is see an attorney about your assets. Make a list of them all and how help and what exactly they are. Work on a plan for division of assets should hubby need care.

Get familiar with senior centers, with your local Council on Aging, with Forums such as this (stay and read and participate), Facebook groups for caregivers involved in working with family such as hubby.

That's just the beginning. But the first thing is knowledge and I am glad you aren't fighting to get this done.

Stay. READ!
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Cognitive decline of this caliber is most likely dementia. Take away your husband's car keys immediately and start doing the driving yourself from now on. He's no longer capable of driving and can wind up killing innocent people! This is very important and may upset your husband, but tell him it's doctors orders he stop driving.

What you do for dementia is you try to find ways to cope. Hire in home help to give you respite. Don't argue with him, just agree or change the subject and distract him from whatever he's obsessingbabout. Go to Alz.org for resources and tips.

If I get dementia, I’d like my family, friends and Carers to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.


💛🤗💛🤗💛1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.💛💛💛2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.💛💛💛3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.💛💛💛4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.💛💛💛5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.💛💛💛6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.💛💛💛7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.💛💛💛8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.💛💛💛9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.💛💛💛10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.💛💛💛11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.💛💛💛12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.💛💛💛13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.💛💛💛14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.💛💛💛15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.💛💛💛16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.💛💛💛17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.💛💛💛18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.💛💛💛19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.💛💛💛20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.💛💛💛21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.

Best of luck.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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