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Saying she doesn't hear me. Is it dementia when she can tell you anything from 30 years ago?

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Long term memory lasts longer. MUCH longer. Short term memory goes. She clearly needs to see the doctor for a dementia evaluation and also for a hearing evaluation. Very likely she DOESN'T hear things. For me at 77 first of all my hearing is NOT what it was,secondly I cannot multitask, so if I am deep in thought, reading, on computer, I literally do not hear what is said to me tho I respond, so it is entering the brain in an entirely different was. So yes, time for medical evaluations, and if there are not now clear directives in place for medical and financial it is time to address those as well.
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There are many forms of dementia, that present in different ways. Some retain their long term memory, but their short term memory is lost.

Is there any way you can get Mum to the doctor? You can preemptively contact her doctor and express your concerns. Use specific examples and record the time fo day they happen. The doctor can order tests to help determine what is happening.

If this is a recent change in behaviour, please, get her to the doctor right away. UTIs can cause behavioural problems in seniors and not present any of the usual symptoms found in younger people.
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