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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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What a shock for you and the family.! My deepest sympathies on your loss. Falling and breaking a hip can be the beginning of the end for a senior.
In any case, this was very sudden and I know that makes a loss harder to cope with. Losing a loved one and the process of grieving is a difficult journey. Please kook after yourself as you go through this.
I am sorry for your loss. One explanation may be is that she did not "fall and break her hip" she may have had a minor stroke that caused her to fall resulting in a broken hip. The second stroke probably would have occurred anyway.
The surgery is also difficult on a person and that may have contributed to it.
Please do not dwell on what happened. Please think about all the good things your mom did and what she taught you throughout your life. You obviously had a good mom or you would not be upset. (trust me I see enough posts from people that have parents that never should have been parents) Keep mom with you in your thoughts and she will always be with you.
While medicine of today can help with many issues that at one time caused earlier deaths we haven’t received the crystal ball to tell us who will live or who will survive a trauma. Especially in the elderly with comorbidities.
With a broken hip there may have been few to no options beyond replacement.
My friend’s sis was just diagnosed with cancer. After receiving 6 bags of blood she was taken off blood thinners. She was sent to rehab. Within days she had blood clots in her lungs that sent her back to the ER to be removed. In her case one almost wonders how she can still be alive with her kidney issues and diabetes and heart issues. She lived a sedentary lifestyle and appears very fragile.
She’s only 78 and finds herself needing blood thinners to prevent clots and losing blood due to the cancer. Sometimes the odds are very high against survival. She didn’t know she had bladder cancer a month ago. Now all her problems are converging.
Please do speak with the doctors to better understand your moms unique situation.
Wishing you peace. It will take time to accept her passing. It is a shock. Please be gentle with yourself.
Did she also have heart of kidney disease? High blood pressure? Was she ever a smoker?
My grandmother fell and broke her hip and then died 5 days later while in the hospital.
What happened with her is that she was medically fragile— she had two well controlled medical issues (high blood pressure, congestive heart failure) and she had been going along and doing well.
When she broke her hip, the trauma of the broken bone taxed her body so badly that her kidneys and heart started acting wonky. They struggled to get all of it under control.
She then entered the process of dying and she died after about 12 hours with her family by her side.
A broken hip is a huge event for an elder. Even with surgical repair, for some people it’s just too much added on to everything else.
The question of why is for the MD to answer. In the case of an elder, given how dangerous surgery is AT ANY AGE, surgery complications are more frequent and more frequently lead to death.
Often after a surgery they attempt to prevent blood clots by administering anti coagulants so that the blood cannot form clots. This is often done after surgery to a leg, and the prevention of blood clots also requires getting the patient up and moving, often even on the day of the surgery. Because of aging, underlying heart problems with rhythms and with a general weakening of the heart pump, there are many more problems with blood clots. Sometimes in attempting to prevent clots anticoagulant given cause instead a "bleed" or a hemorrhagic stroke.
If you have been on the Forum a long time you have seen many falls (which often are the "beginning of the end" for our elders) where a hip is broken, or another bone, and the doctors don't even want to operate. Having no real choice other than bedrest and eventual death, they often choose to do the surgery and recently we have had TWO posters for whom the surgery of their parents (one was 100) went well. But it doesn't always. And doctors will always read the risks of surgery to patient and to family/POA and have signatures that the risks are recognized (this is the informed consent form).
I am so sorry, but the stoke was almost certainly a side effect of surgery, underlying heart problems, anti coagulants or lack of them, and immobility. It could happen at ANY age and as an RN I saw people in their 30s die or be very debilitated by strokes.
Grief counselors tell us that often, our initial reaction to the death of a loved one, especially in the case of the shock of an unexpected death, is to want to be angry and to want to "place blame". This anger is easier on us than grief and sadness and facing the finality of grieving a loss. We often choose a doctor, hospital, procedure, nurse, rehab company, treatment, medications, etc to be furious at; it delays our grief until we can bear to face it. Know that your reaction is a normal one. Speak to the MDs about why.
We all die. Some of us die at 3 years of age with the parents shouting "WHY. WHY". While it is never easy to lose a parent AT ANY AGE, and I sympathize, I also know, being 82 myself, that we begin to accept that the grim reaper may knock on the door at a moment's notice. I hope your mom's life was a good one, with many memories, and that soon those memories will be what you think of when you think of her, not the shock and pain or this hard loss. My heart goes out to you. Sometimes we don't know the answer to the question "Why", but it is a very human response to pain to shout it out.
I hope you can find peace and I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Often times people have mini-strokes that contribute to falls, and that's followed by a bigger stroke. It's also very possible that your mom suffered a blood clot after surgery and it traveled to her brain, causing a stroke. It's happens after surgery. I am so very sorry.
A broken hip does not bode well for an elder person. You can google more about this and see the statistics. If you wish to know more about the stroke she suffered, you will have to ask the doctor if it was from bleeding in the brain or from a blood clot. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know this is a very difficult time for you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sad but true.
I'm sorry for your loss.
In any case, this was very sudden and I know that makes a loss harder to cope with. Losing a loved one and the process of grieving is a difficult journey. Please kook after yourself as you go through this.
One explanation may be is that she did not "fall and break her hip" she may have had a minor stroke that caused her to fall resulting in a broken hip.
The second stroke probably would have occurred anyway.
The surgery is also difficult on a person and that may have contributed to it.
Please do not dwell on what happened.
Please think about all the good things your mom did and what she taught you throughout your life.
You obviously had a good mom or you would not be upset. (trust me I see enough posts from people that have parents that never should have been parents)
Keep mom with you in your thoughts and she will always be with you.
Like others have said, this is really not all that uncommon.
I am so sorry you lost your dear mom.
While medicine of today can help with many issues that at one time caused earlier deaths we haven’t received the crystal ball to tell us who will live or who will survive a trauma. Especially in the elderly with comorbidities.
With a broken hip there may have been few to no options beyond replacement.
My friend’s sis was just diagnosed with cancer. After receiving 6 bags of blood she was taken off blood thinners. She was sent to rehab. Within days she had blood clots in her lungs that sent her back to the ER to be removed. In her case one almost wonders how she can still be alive with her kidney issues and diabetes and heart issues. She lived a sedentary lifestyle and appears very fragile.
She’s only 78 and finds herself needing blood thinners to prevent clots and losing blood due to the cancer. Sometimes the odds are very high against survival. She didn’t know she had bladder cancer a month ago. Now all her problems are converging.
Please do speak with the doctors to better understand your moms unique situation.
Wishing you peace. It will take time to accept her passing. It is a shock. Please be gentle with yourself.
My grandmother fell and broke her hip and then died 5 days later while in the hospital.
What happened with her is that she was medically fragile— she had two well controlled medical issues (high blood pressure, congestive heart failure) and she had been going along and doing well.
When she broke her hip, the trauma of the broken bone taxed her body so badly that her kidneys and heart started acting wonky. They struggled to get all of it under control.
She then entered the process of dying and she died after about 12 hours with her family by her side.
A broken hip is a huge event for an elder. Even with surgical repair, for some people it’s just too much added on to everything else.
I’m so sorry your mom died. HUGS.
Often after a surgery they attempt to prevent blood clots by administering anti coagulants so that the blood cannot form clots. This is often done after surgery to a leg, and the prevention of blood clots also requires getting the patient up and moving, often even on the day of the surgery. Because of aging, underlying heart problems with rhythms and with a general weakening of the heart pump, there are many more problems with blood clots. Sometimes in attempting to prevent clots anticoagulant given cause instead a "bleed" or a hemorrhagic stroke.
If you have been on the Forum a long time you have seen many falls (which often are the "beginning of the end" for our elders) where a hip is broken, or another bone, and the doctors don't even want to operate. Having no real choice other than bedrest and eventual death, they often choose to do the surgery and recently we have had TWO posters for whom the surgery of their parents (one was 100) went well. But it doesn't always. And doctors will always read the risks of surgery to patient and to family/POA and have signatures that the risks are recognized (this is the informed consent form).
I am so sorry, but the stoke was almost certainly a side effect of surgery, underlying heart problems, anti coagulants or lack of them, and immobility. It could happen at ANY age and as an RN I saw people in their 30s die or be very debilitated by strokes.
Grief counselors tell us that often, our initial reaction to the death of a loved one, especially in the case of the shock of an unexpected death, is to want to be angry and to want to "place blame". This anger is easier on us than grief and sadness and facing the finality of grieving a loss. We often choose a doctor, hospital, procedure, nurse, rehab company, treatment, medications, etc to be furious at; it delays our grief until we can bear to face it. Know that your reaction is a normal one. Speak to the MDs about why.
We all die. Some of us die at 3 years of age with the parents shouting "WHY. WHY". While it is never easy to lose a parent AT ANY AGE, and I sympathize, I also know, being 82 myself, that we begin to accept that the grim reaper may knock on the door at a moment's notice. I hope your mom's life was a good one, with many memories, and that soon those memories will be what you think of when you think of her, not the shock and pain or this hard loss. My heart goes out to you. Sometimes we don't know the answer to the question "Why", but it is a very human response to pain to shout it out.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray for you to have peace as you grieve the loss of your beloved mom.