Mom and Dad are 80 and 81 yrs. Niece has been living with for 23 years. She has three children. Mom broke femur 2 yrs ago, Dad broke femur 3 months ago. Niece is attentive to 81 year old Dad, but not to Mom. Niece states Mom is lazy and will not go to bathroom, take bath, etc. When I talk to Mom she seems to states that she does take care of herself but infact she does not. Mom will agrue alot. Mom was recently released from a hospital for a kidney infection, then released from a rehab,nursing home facility. When released they stated that she could walkwith walker 100ft, bath herself, cook . When she came home she says that she can not do any. What can we do?
Carol
If she's been living off them for 23 years now, time to 'pay the piper' I think.
When we first hired private caregivers, it was on a part-time basis and it was possible for one caregiver to take care of both parents. Mom is the one the caregivers want to help because she is "compliant" and makes an effort to get along with everybody.
It is my Dad who was getting the short end of the stick the past month or so since he argues about everything and refuses to take a bath or change clothes. Out of sheer desparation, I found Dad his own caregiver since I myself was exhausted trying to keep up with both of them. It's only been a couple weeks but Dad has become much happier and definitely more "compliant". He smells and looks a lot better these days.
Dad has an official diagnosis of depression and has been known to stay in the bed for days. It's like he's transforming into a different person with the help of his caregiver. He actually stays up to work on crossword puzzles and play trivia games. I realize now that he really needed more one on one assistance and we're all much happier because of it.