Is it OK to tell a loved one with Alzheimer's when you take them to a nursing home that they will be coming back to their home soon.? I am hoping that he will get used to it and like it and not remember that I said he would be coming home. But if it doesn't work out he always can because his home is always going to be there for him.
Even now, after living in our house almost 2 years, it is not home to him. He keeps asking if we paid for one more night at "this hotel."
When we try to ease our guilt we sometimes make it more confusing for our loved one. My hubby isn't in a AL yet, but when he does I will know not to confuse him with trying to "fix" it for him. I'll,let him settle in as much as he can, visit him often and figure I've done all I can do.
Good luck to you and take care of yourself!
You have to say whatever you have to say to keep the dementia patient calm *in the moment*. They aren't going to use this information to make bad life decisions or do something illegal.
The asking to go home stage passes. You can't take it literally and try to take her home. My mom has been in care for about 3 years now. If she asks, I have only told her everything is exactly the way she left it and that her brother in law is taking care of the place and the outside cats for her. This is reassuring to her mind, and there's precious little of that in her day.
Her home has been sold in reality. Much of the contents donated or thrown away. Does she need to know this? Absolutely not. She is absolutely not going back there, so the factual truth has no bearing.
When she was insistent on going back, I would tell her that the doctor said no travel this week, but he would check next week. Or that I can't get a moving truck this fast or the plane tickets are sold out. Then QUICKLY redirect their attention to something else in their immediate surroundings.
If that doesn't work, ask them questions about "home" and their memories of it - even if it's outlandish stories that never happened. Sometimes that is calming too.
I hope this helps you.
Blessings to you as you do one of the hardest jobs ever!!
Alzheimer's is a terrible, terrible disease. People with Alzheimer's are often erratic, unpredictable, combative, paranoid, and confused. As terrible as it is for us to deal with our loved ones with Alzheimer's it's even worse for the person who has it. We can't apply logic and reason when we are caring for family members with Alzheimer's. We have to dig deeper than that and come up with a way to keep our loved ones calm and whether it be medication or fibbing or other methods we do what we have to do to make things easier for them and for us.