My beloved husband has early stage dementia. He is happy and has good self care skills. He is aware of his decline in executive function. His perceptual and motor skills are weakening, and he drops and breaks things. This is not Alzheimers, it is secondary to remote brain surgery with encephalomalacia. Overall his memory is OK, he is learning a new language, and his health is stable on medication.
I need to travel in a few months and will be away for 10 days. I have a son who is close with him, who will check with him daily. Hubby can also follow written instructions. I would appreciate any recommendations for things that I should do in advance, to make sure that I don't forget anything.
He really doesn't want or need anyone to stay with him and this will be the last time I leave him, but I want to do everything to ensure that he will be successful. (He doesn't have use of a car, and can take public transportation as needed.)
So basically, I am not going anywhere for the duration.
That's me.
But for you it sounds as though husband is honestly perfectly functional.
What does HE say about being alone?
Why do you question his ability to be alone? What have you seen him do or be unable to do that is making to feel uncomfortable?
You have the son visiting.
I would myself now have camera installed. Had Gene Hackman had such a thing monitored by cell phone by one of his children he would have know what was happening. Saw in a bedroom where he sleeps, so that you know he is safely in bed for the night or not, and whether he needs checking or not.
Personal opinion.
Does he take meds?
Can he do so safely.
Quite honestly you know your husband and his daily activities much better than a forum of strangers who never met the guy. I am more comfortable with YOUR opinion than mine, or the opinion of others.
Good luck.
* Have cameras in strategic locations so you can monitor some areas (bed, bathroom, - ? )
* Have 'back-up' neighbors check in on him daily / regularly.
* I understand he 'doesn't want ... anyone to stay" with him, I recommend that you take more control and do what is potentially in his best interest (care) vs taking his lead / desires - of, understandably, not wanting any (stranger) in the house.
You want to be safe, not sorry. If I were you, I would:
- Discuss options more with your son who lives close by.
- Engage the services of a medical social worker.
- Equally, you want to feel relaxed when you are away for 10 days ... not worrying and wondering how he is doing 24/7.
If it were me, I wouldn't leave anything to chance. There is 'always' that ONE TIME ... when we don't expect something to happen ... when it does. You want to err on the side of caution / safety.
Gena / Touch Matters
Best of luck to you.
The mind is a funny thing. Expect his response to all things to be more confused, fearful, and intimidating simply because you are not there. Apparently neither of you has considered this huge piece of this event and this is huge. I would reconsider and think about a full time caregiver during your time away.
your husband than you are both aware of. Perhaps spend a weekend away first to see how things go? That could provide useful information for both of you, including increased confidence. Also, by checking in daily do you mean a phone call or actual visit? I think it would be wise to have someone lay eyes on the situation if it all possible.
You probably shouldn't leave your husband home alone for the time you're going to be away.
Would it be possible for him to stay with family or a friend for ten days?
Make sure the house is well stocked with food, medications, and don't forget the toilet paper and paper towels! If he can't or shouldn't be cooking, arrange for meal delivery every day.
Also, make sure both of you have important documents in place; Wills, living wills, medical representative, POA, and a list of emergency contacts, just in case anything happens to either one of you.
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