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My 81 year old husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's 15 years ago. I am 68 and his full time caregiver. I have his DPOA. We've been married for 36 years. DH has three children from an earlier marriage. They are in their 50s and 60s and two live out of state and visit once a year. Another son lives about 2 hours away and has always had a close relationship with his Dad, but seems to be pulling away now. I get along with all of them.In the last year he's suffered from hallucinations and delusions. His hallucinations are constant with people remolding our house, ants everywhere and graffiti on the walls. The delusions are long running and detailed and revolve around me being a drug addict and being under the control of an organization that gives me drugs so they can use our house at night for sex and drug parties. My DH is adamant that he's seen me having sex with strangers. I now sleep in a locked room for safety after twice having my DH grab me and shake me in the night yelling that I'm a drug addict. He's called 911 to ask them to come and break the door down because he thinks I'm overdosing and dying. Last week he tried to pick the lock to my room with a paperclip. I have cameras in the house so I'm alerted if he's moving around at night.DH sees his various doctors regularly and PT every week and all are aware of the situation. He takes Parkinson's meds and Nuplazid for the hallucinations and delusions. Otherwise, except for balance issues, DH is healthy. He reads his newspapers daily and knows what's going on in the world. I am not sure he would fail a compentacy test if he was having a good day.I met with an Elder lawyer yesterday and was told the DPOA along with a failed assessment would not be enough to place or keep him in care if he didn't want to stay. She said I needed to seek a Guardianship. That shocked me and seems like another overwhelming obstacle to moving forward in caring for my DH and returning to a normal life for myself.

I agree with JoAnn29 that if he grabs and shakes you again, or touches you in inappropriate ways, call 911. Hopefully it will be caught on your home cameras. It may get you legal control sooner, but also you just need to protect yourself.

Do not hesitate to call 911.
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Reply to Geaton777
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The attorney is correct because IN OREGON DPOA is financial ONLY! DM me if you want more exact details of what we had do do to keep MIL in MC in Oregon.
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Reply to MyNameIsTrouble
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Isthisrealyreal Mar 25, 2025
I believe that DPOA is totally misunderstood frequently.

In AZ you have a DMCPOA, durable medical care power of attorney, a DGPOA, durable general power of attorney and DMHCPOA which is a non revocable mental health power of attorney and this is the specific one that will allow placement against one's will with doctors involved.

I know that there is so much misunderstanding about these legal documents, that is why I encourage everyone to look up their state statutes on what exactly they are and how to best go about serving as a POA.

To often I see people being advised what they can do with these documents and it is so wrong. We MUST do our own due diligence and find out what our state law clarifies about what authority they actually give someone.
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Many people have placed a LO in Memory care with just the DPOA. He will be in a locked down facility so hard to leave.

If your husband lays a hand on you again, call 911. When cops come tell them he had Parkinsons Dementia and he has laid hands on you more than once. You sleep in a separate room with the door locked because you are scared of him. He needs to be Baker Acted. This will get him in a Physic ward where they will try to find the right meds for him. Then, you have him transferred to the correct facility.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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You DO NOT need guardianship. You do need to have him found incapacitated and that requires a neuropsychiatric test to be completed.
How is the DPOA worded? It should provide conditions that would allow you to make it effective. Do you have a medical DPOA or Patent Advocate designation?
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Reply to lboyd3
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lealonnie1 Mar 25, 2025
Your profile has a phone number to contact you at. Agingcare does not allow solicitations here.
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