Hi there, my parents just removed my grandmother with dementia from a nursing home at my urging so that we could take care of her. She has no physical problems or medications aside from an inhaler with COPD.
We are struggling greatly with her constant divisiveness. She picks a fight all day, saying that we hate her, trying to manipulate one family member against another, and repeating the same psychosis about how we are jealous of her and her wisdom. This happens with zero provocation at any time and it is exhausting. I find myself avoiding her because I am weary of it. My parents are upset with me for suggesting we could do this.
Any ideas for newbies who haven't a clue? The conditions in her home were awful and she was so lonely but don't know if we can all handle this day after day.
She needs to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist to assess her mental health, dementia and mood.
There needs to be found a better facility for her (who assessed the conditions at the place she resided previously?)
Adding to that my parents were retiring, moving out of state (I already live 1000 miles away) and she would be left with zero visitors. I just couldn't bear that...long story short my parents are putting a trailer on my property where they will live with her and I will help out. I live in a separate cabin with my husband and kids.
In the past month she went from the home to the hospital to motel rooms on her travel here, and now we are all in a large rental home until the trailer is ready so yes, she doesn't know if she is coming or going for sure.
She is bored and restless but doesn't have hobbies or want to do anything so not sure how to occupy her time.
I look forward to checking out the suggested resources here!
My mother lives in a Memory Care herself. She is SO argumentative and contrary, it's impossible to even carry on a conversation with her. So a weekly visit is more than enough, and a daily phone call to check in. She gets great care there, and I get to keep my sanity intact, so it's a win win situation.
Wishing you the best of luck dealing with a difficult issue.
((Hug))
I suppose she is having difficulty understanding the situation.
How was she doing at the home?
You will need tons of patience, perseverance and fortitude to say nothing of love to be able to care for her. And don't forget a thick skin. Know she doesn't have any concept of what she is doing or saying.
Try playing her favorite music, old movies, have photo albums around something that you think she will enjoy. It will take time to figure out what will work for her and may change from day to day. Help fold laundry?
Good luck, you have your plate full.