What are some things I could get for Dad to do? We have tried generating interest in normal senior citizen activities unsuccessfully.

Is there a library in his town? Would he consider going there - volunteer to help, and/or reading to children or if he doesn't drive, someone from church take him? Library here has a dog that comes in and kids sit with the dog and read. Would local schools welcome help with him reading to children? Is there a local small-town restaurant where the guys like to gather and chat. Do they have 4-H in his area - perhaps he could mentor some of the clubs? 4-H isn't just all livestock - many other programs available including teaching the fixing of small appliances, etc., that you mention...or teach a class at a local school "home-owner life skills for kids". He is clearly a man with many talents but now frustrated and bored by not being able to do what he could but still wants to and still able to share that knowledge with others even if he can't do the actual work himself.....got the same problem here.

Does he have a large or giant print Bible?
If not get him one that's indexed (cutouts on the side that marks the different books).

If he struggles with the King James version, there's many other versions. I think the one that is considered the optimum balance between readability and fidelity to the original manuscripts is the Christian Standard Bible (CSB) version. There's also a new Messianic Jewish Bible that includes the New Testament called The Tree Of Life (TLV) version.

There's also audio Bible players that are nice.

Ask his church pastor to organize visits from his church family.

If he likes to tell stories, record them.

My husband and I just moved into assisted living one year ago. He is now in the Long Term unit.. He has Parkinson’s and needs a lot of assisting.. I like the term your dad does not like to do things that are useless. My husband does not like to work puzzles either.. he just enjoys playing on the computer and listening to a tractor run.
I wondered if there were some younger people that he could teach how to fix toasters and other things of that sort they could be the fingers, of course, and he can pass his talent onto another generation.
There are only 10 of us now at the assisted living where I am. We so enjoyed the gentleman that passed away recently at age 99.. He told such wonderful stories of what jobs he had where he took his kids all seven of them on vacation in the summertime. Who could you find to just listen to his stories have him record something that will be lost when he’s no longer telling us what it was.
Good luck it’s so nice that he is at home and he is 94. That is rather unusual. Happy for you.

Here's some ideas...
1. As others mentioned, YouTube can be very entertaining for just about anyone. My mom uses it for chair exercises. Some senior places have created videos and she uses it to 'compete' with the ladies in the videos. Your dad may find church sermons worth watching live or recorded.
2. 3D Printing. Even though he may not be tech savvy, 3D printers are inexpensive and the patterns available allow him to create all sorts of things without a lot of dexterity. And unlike craft kits, allows him to make things that have a 'useful' purpose.
3. Car clubs. Around where I live there's at least one car club event happening each month and sometimes more. He may not be able to fix up his car, but viewing all the different cars can be interesting. Same with RV shows. Not a daily thing, but something to plan/look forward to.
4. Definitely look into getting 'sitters' that are interested in his interests. Maybe even talk to the local scouting program and see if one of the kids would want to work on a merit badge with him. In that same vein, maybe see if he could volunteer for the SCORE program where older folks are free mentors to business people. If he knows a lot about air conditioners, etc. he might be able to help businesses.
5. Feeding wildlife. My mom has really gotten into feeding squirrels. At first she thought it was a dumb idea when the caregiver proposed it. Now she has them literally eating out of her hand and it gets her out. Setting up a bird feeder or other feeding station and getting him out could give him a sense of purpose and that he's needed. If he's not that mobile, get him an inexpensive scooter or electric wheelchair. Makes a huge different in feeling independent.
6. iPad - yes, he doesn't want to attempt technology, but you'd be surprised. My mom was the same way. I left her with an ipod back in the day. She scoffed, then picked it up and started using it to text me. She's hooked. the iPads these days are large enough to see, have a ton of interesting things anyone could spend time one.
7. Larger crafts. Mom got into wreath making when she couldn't paint anymore. She creates the design, the caregiver glues / ties the pieces together. There could be something similar your dad could 'oversee' like making firewood boxes, benches, etc.
8. Bible study. The area may not be what it used to be, but there probably is a bible study going on somewhere or online. If the caregivers are religious maybe coming up with a schedule to read a passage each day/week.
9. As mentioned audio books or other forms of audio like old radio programs.

I probably wouldn't try to put him in AL. When someone has been living on their own, doesn't know the people in the facility, and is conscious about their deficiencies, it can be a very lonely place. You see younger residents able to do more. You are oftentimes treated like a child, and you must follow certain rules. You can't do what you want, when you want it like living in your own home. Someone who has lived in one place for 70 years is not a good candidate for AL. Plus the place is only as good as the people working it, and most ALs are understaffed or staffed with people who don't have a lot of experience. It seems like it'd be a good place for elderly, because there are people the same age, but in reality it's not. Just think about it...half those people will be dead in less than a year. The other half will start to show signs of dementia. And the other half, like my mom will move out because it becomes too costly or it's not the right fit. It doesn't sound like Dad is the right fit for AL. But as mentioned you could ask him if he'd like to try maybe one or two nights. best of luck.

If your Dad still has his mental capacity, it's not really your job to find things for your Dad to do. If an aid can take him to church events during the week (if the church has them), perhaps that would help. Be in touch with the State Department of Aging (it may be called something else) to see what resources are available to him. Much depends on his finances. Living alone at home can be very isolating. But if he likes his independence, he may not like living in a senior community. Have the discussion with him about what he wants to happen if he is no longer able to care for himself. Does he have the funds to have 27/7 caregivers? If he doesn't, is the family ready to give him financial assistance? Make sure his paperwork is in order. He needs to have a will, to set up powers of attorney (POA) for medical and financial decisions, and to have a living will with his advance medical directives (for example, do not resucitate....). This has to be done while he is mentally competent. Best of luck to you and your family.

* Consider / consult with MD to see if medication may help him (w depression - ?)
* Agree with Fawnby: Visit AL facilities. If he can afford, he is VERY VERY FORTUNATE.
* While I understand he may want to remain in his home, it isn't the safest place to be - and he doesn't even have 24 / 7 care.
- It sounds like he is alone during evening/overnight (?) which should be concerning. What if he gets up for some reason in the middle of the night and falls? He will be there lying on the floor until a caregiver comes in the morning?

There comes a time when you / the family need to assess the best care for him - for his well-being and welfare. He won't be happy initially if / when you relocate him to an AL apt. However, with time, he may adjust.

The other way to look at this situation is that he's lived a full life and if he wants to remain at home, so be it. If he falls / breaks a hip or hits his head ... that is the trade off of him remaining at home, which is his desire - wish. At 94, you need to weigh what is important - keeping him alive for as long as possible or keeping him more content with health/fall risks. Not easy to do.

And, to be able to re-locate him, you / family needs legal authority to do so. Unless he is deemed to be of unsound mind (dementia) and unable to make decisions in his best interest.

Activities_____________ vs Other Options

(1) Gentle Massage
I would 'switch' from activities to seeing if he would enjoy massage / touch.
Gentle touch (to get the Oxytocin moving (the 'feel good' hormone) may feel good to him. He can be passive and still feel some enjoyment through touch.
- Call massage therapists; some are trained / specialize in elders.
- Call massage schools as students need practice clients (usually at no charge to the practice clients). The consideration here is that they are students and may not have the experience / skills to work with an elder (body) as a professional / certified therapist has.
- The key here is GENTLE TOUCH. No deep tissue and not deep at all.
- Foot and hand massage are also beneficial. Depends on how receptive he is to touch - some of my clients loved it and a few didn't/were uncomfortable.

* There are some excellent articles on the benefits of massage to older people. Google "Massage and elders" or benefits of touch for elders.

Personally, I was amazed at how much a person opened up to me when providing a simple hand massage. People connect immediately and start talking to me like they might to a confidente / therapist. Coupled with compassion and sensitivity, there is something powerful about connecting by touch.

Check out these books (which I have had for many years):

1) TOUCH - The Science of Hand, Heart, and Mind by David J. Linden
1) From the Heart Through the Hands - the Power of Touch in Caregiving
by Dawn Nelson.

(2) VOLUNTEERS

Not caregivers. People that visit elders to socialize/talk. Find people that may have shared interests. Try contacting universities and ask to speak to Dept heads in: Geriatrics, social work, nursing, counseling/psychology. Often the key is being PRESENT and listening.
Not forcing anything. Just b e i n g - together is often enough.

* With a volunteer / family member: get lagos (spelling?) to build things. Or some kind of 'blocks' that will more easily stick / stay together while making things -structures.

Gena / Touch Matters (yes, it does).

He would have many activities in assisted living, so I'm sorry "none of the family" wants him to go where he could have a good time and be appropriately cared for. So I guess poor dad just molders away in the house where he's lived for 70 years.

Please visit some ALs and take some of "the family" with you for the free lunch they provide. Take a look at the activities board, stay for the visiting karaoke artist, and visit some rooms they have available. A sitter can't compare with the offerings at a nice AL. No wonder dad is bored!

My father-in-law is similar (was very active and productive and mechanical) although he's more open to TV than it sounds like your dad is. He does enjoy watching YouTube channels we've found that follow his interests like https://www.youtube.com/@RomkaXKamur and stuff on model trains, steam engines, etc. You can get a lot more granular with YouTube than standard TV programs and documentaries. He also likes to simply go for drives with caregivers, so there's usually a 30-60 minute drive each day (when I'm driving I just locate a lake or park at a distance that fits the time available). Another thing is having questions prepped for him. Every so often he'll kind of wander in and ask if anyone needs help, and I tell him YES, can you explain how I check out whether a car's tires are in decent condition (when we were car shopping) or how to fix something little in our house or whatever. Have a place you write down questions when you think of them. Not just advice but about memories, stories, etc. -- ask about what was homemade at Christmas when he was a kid, what was the worst car he ever owned, did he ever buy anything that was sold off television infomercials, if he's gone on a train ride, what was camping like in his youth, whatever. We get a barber to come to their home to give him haircuts and beard trims and he has different care workers who do physical and cognitive exercises with him (VA disability benefits so I know he has more support than is available to everyone). Go to dinner out weekly, invite their friends to come over or join us out at dinner, go to events at his former workplace. Try different foods and beverages and kitchen processes. Recently got him an electric kettle (vs. warming water in the microwave for tea) and he thinks it's fantastic. My husband will simply lay down the law sometimes, tell him "okay, grumpy, here's what we're going to do -- you're going to do five laps around the house on your walker, we'll go outside and greet the day and the neighbor's dog, I'll make you some peanut butter toast and you'll eat it, and then you can nap if you want to" or whatever.

There is senior day clubs with similar folks they play games, current events serve lunch lite chair exercises and craft projects. Some assisted living community allow outside seniors to join in on day activities. He may find another gentleman or lady that has things in common and have new friendships. It doesn’t have to be every day maybe 1-2 times a week and see how it goes.

If he were good with his hands maybe models - you know the type - build an aeroplane - build a car - totally mind consuming. My sister likes to do word puzzles. There are little hand puzzles you can get. Are there dvd's showing a church service? I love to listen to and watch when people attach graphics/pictures to it - music by Vivaldo - the four seasons - i find that so calming and they do many live musicians in churches - maybe to watch something like that. Do the sitters interact with him - maybe a wee game of Bingo? or something

Here I think the key is "something useful". The library or local hospital might have needs or ideas or find places for wooden toys or things your dad CAN put together and be proud of. OR perhaps teach /mentor/ help guide someone through a project that can be donated. Best is to see dad see the reaction of the child that receives it ... even if from a distance. Or a video or picture. That will help the 2nd project.
Us caregivers have to be creative and REALLY listen with eyes, ears and heart to what "helps" and what hinders AND remember that we each take care of ourselves first to be available to take care of others.

Daughter94: Craft kits can be found on Amazon.

If your dad is a true believer in God than he should be ready to show God how much God meant and means to him. There is no better way to do this than for him to become a student of God's word. Believe me he will never outlive the amount of information available to him in this world or beyond to study God. It is said that you will not enter the gates of heaven if you do not posses more knowledge than the Pharisees. Ask him to delve into oral and written scripture and to lean on the Holy Spirit for guidance and understanding. If he does this I will not have to tell him how rewarding it will become during his final days on this earth. My awakening came about when I was harangued about finding something to do after I retired. Getting to know God is my calling.

Ideas: gardening and donate food, get indoor plants, wash and wax car in driveway, basketball and hoop over garage, make wooden toys, fix old bikes to give away, start a church group at his house each week for conversation, book discussion, etc., bake cookies, learn photography, write letters to military over seas, find the history/science channel on tv., go for walks, paint on small rocks and hide around town, volunteer to visit with people at nursing home, grow flowers for church alter, clean out closets and get rid of stuff he does not use, refinish old furniture, get a xylophone and learn to play, call other lonely people, write short stories about his growing up years in a journal, get and echo machine because you can tell it to play any kind of music, read information, learn new jokes simply byt asking it.

I just googled children's electric science kits. Which are made for small fingers, less dexterity than adult's skills. All age ranges too. I suggested electric, because then there's the added bonus of a finished project that also moves and lights up. Check the Lego website. They are very aware of children who have learning difficulties and make kits just for them as those kits are very popular with those children. My friend's husband who has advanced FTD dementia, loves putting together Lego kits.
Are the sitters interacting with your father? Taking him on a short drive around the neighborhood? Maybe have him tell stories about his youth? Can he take photos with a phone or small digital camera? Does the family visit often? They don't want to put him in assisted living, then spend time with him.

There are kits that you can get for making bird houses and things like that. (bird feeders, stepping stones...)
Would your dad have interest in that? Check Home Depot or other Big Box Store for kits, Craft Stores might also have kits.
Most need to be put together then painted.
This time of year craft kits for making ornaments can be purchased and he can work on those for gifts for next year.

Since he is mechanically gifted you could try a bin of nuts and bolts in various sizes that he can put together in pairs. Or that he can sort into containers by size. This can be as simple or complicated as he can handle. I've found that getting the difficulty right makes a difference. If he can't screw them together he can sort them by size or type. He can clean and sort tools, fold shop rags, there are lots of small tasks like this for his shop. Best wishes.

Sorry you feel negatively about assisted living. Your dad is 94. Please stop pushing him. If no one is able to be his caretaker, place him in a personal care home.

My 95-yr old Mom is in a similar situation. She lives next door to me. She used to be a whirlwind of physical activity. She only recently this summer stopped driving.

She now has bad arthritis in her back, knees and hands and neuropathy in her fingertips. She is more frustrated trying to puzzle as she can't pick up or place the pieces easily. She tries to sew on her machine or by hand but can't manage it. She does clean her house constantly, iron her sheets and clothes, still gardens a little, does some yardwork and brushes snow in the winter. All very slowly, but that's ok. I keep her in her home since she is more about activity than people. She'd be bored to death in AL.

When she complains about being bored in her home I challenge her to come up with ideas and she never does. It's probably part of her cognitive decline. Also she's never had to come up with ideas to entertain herself in her life. But I make it clear I'm not her entertainment committee. My husband and I still work and have local family and other commitments.

Maybe consider hiring a male companion aid for your Dad who can take him to places and attempt to do activities with him, even if it's playing cards or board games, chatting, etc. Can your Dad do any food prep or cooking?

My 2 very elderly Aunts had an excellent companion aid for 6 years. They shared a similar ethnic background, had the same political views, lived in NYC, and so had plenty to yak about every day, all day. I know guys don't need to yak, but your Dad may be more comfortable with another guy.

If he's already paying for aids, maybe he needs one that will do a little more work to find things they can do together. Maybe your Dad "teaches" mechanical stuff to the aid...? I get that he desires meaningful activity. An aid could help him find, clean and fix kids' toys,and then given away? (Nextdoor.com is a great place for this).

Your Dad won't be going into AL unless he consents to it or you will need to forcibly make it happen and I doubt that's what anyone wants. I'd keep him in his home and try to find him a male aid who will do stuff with him and take him places.

How about audio books on a subject he's interested in? My husband listens to everything from Gone With the Wind to the History of Religion and stories about war. Most of the nooks are read by actors/actresses, so they're entertaining and don't require good eyesight to enjoy.

Good luck.

I think Alva said it best. We just slow down in our 90s. Things just don't work like they used to. Really, its ashame we last this long.

This is a tough situation because he sees himself as not wanting to let go of what he used to be able to do. I sense he has some resentment about it and may have the all or nothing type of attitude. That doesn’t mean he has to stop learning. YouTube has many great videos and how to’s on just about anything he might be interested in. Maybe he could learn a new skill or even a craft that he can handle. He might be surprised at what is out there that he can do.

I think to be honest that you are doing what can be done.
Children often take on a need to make things "all better". They want to think they are responsible for happiness. But they are NOT. They cannot change the face of aging any more than they could help their dad when they were toddlers and he sat pondering a table full of bills, unhappy at his inability to address them all in a timely manner.

Life if full of things taken from us, and so far well into his 90s your dad hasn't had his home taken from him. He may well die in his home and that is honestly the best you can hope for now. Aging is what it is. There are things now he cannot do, can only remember.

If Dad has the eyesite and if you can find a nice masculine type scrapbook and a box of pictures, ask him to paste in some for you to look at.
Other than that lame suggestion, this is the end of his life. A time for contemplation. Listening to a book on tape or CD.

Again, this isn't yours to fix. A whole lot in life isn't fixable. This isn't the first time your dad hasn't had life perfect. Ask him if there's anything you can do. Suggest some few things. And other than that accept the imperfection of this thing called living.