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My husband is 11 years older then me. I am 70 he is 81 and he has Dementia from years of alcohol use. Because of his confusion and forgetfulness I have hidden his keys to the car. I told him the doctor said no more driving. I lied, so sue me! Some days he never mentions the keys and then something will trigger him and then I am the scum of the earth. Being his caretaker is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Yesterday he told me he didn't know what he would do without me. Today we were going by the American Legion, somewhere he went daily, and he started in about his keys. How do you all handle this!

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You handle it by reassuring him that you are there for him and by letting him know that you love him.
Your husband knows that he needs you now more than ever, and I'm sure that it has to be quite frightening to know that you're losing your mind and there's not a darn thing you can do to stop it.
Eventually he will forget about the keys and this too like everything else will pass.

My late husband was 12 years older than me, and ended up having vascular dementia, and I can tell you that caring for a spouse with dementia requires lots of patience, understanding and love.
But it also requires that you take care of yourself too, getting out and doing things that bring you joy so you can continue on this journey.
And I would also recommend getting involved in a local caregiver support group, preferably in person if possible or on Zoom.
My local caregiver support group literally saved my life when I was in the hardest part of my caregiving journey with my husband, as it is very powerful to be able to share with others who are going through similar things as you and can relate and not judge you when you say that you lost it and hollered at your husband.(yes that would be me)

So next time your husband brings up the keys, don't hesitate to use what we call in the dementia world a "fiblet" by continuing to say that his doctor said he no longer can, and then just walk away.
You're going to be ok. Will this journey be hard? Yes it will, no ifs and or buts, however you will come out of it a much wiser, compassionate, stronger and empathetic person after it's all said and done.
And remember...this too shall pass.
God bless you.
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For me it wasn't a spouse, but a brother that had Lewy's Dementia.
I can tell you that I learned long ago, as a nurse, I would never/ever be able to do in home care for anyone, not for spouse, parent, brother, child or anyone else.

Basically you handle it by understanding the disease, learning all you can about it. I would start with watching some Teepa Snow videos. They may help you respond and are free on youtube still so far as I know.

You also understand this is a progressive disease and the trajectory is inexorably downward. And that you will have tough decisions to make for yourself as to how long you can be his caregiver.

I am so very sorry. There are no good solutions, no cure, no good answers.
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