I'm hoping that this discussion will help me and others. This forum is a wonderful place to converse with people who understand.To make an incredibly long story short, my father has been in a care facility since last year in May. It is definitely where he needs to be because of his medical and physical limitations. Although my father and I have had a difficult relationship, it pains me to see him decline. I'm tearing up as I type this. Overall, he is doing well but I can see the difference. He can not walk, he wears diapers and is also showing signs of dementia. My therapist told me I was a fixer. It is true. I want to fix everything that ails others but this, I can not fix. Getting older is a privilege. He will be 80 this summer. Sometimes I feel so sorry for him and then sometimes I get upset because of the flashbacks of how he treated my mom and I. He told me recently that he was ready to go whenever the Lord calls him. He has never said this before and he says he misses seeing me daily. I'm thinking that being there has given him time to think about a lot of things. Anyway, please chime in if you can relate. Happy Valentine's to all of you!
My dad died at age 72 (the age I am now) of leukemia. My mom lived to 94, in a nursing home with dementia, stroke, hip fracture and CHF. It was long, slow, painful to watch unraveling that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I am so glad to hear that your father seems to be “mellowing out” if you will as he declines. Of course it doesn’t change the past but at least you are getting some relief in the present moment. What a very poignant and sensitive time for you.
Thinking of you. 😊