i was specifically chosen for this task because I’m a longtime trusted friend that, as my friend said “understands the assignment, knows when to make the most important decisions.”Her words and I agree, so did my parents and I was their youngest child.
It was a niece who had asked aunt to move near her. I was crushed because of all the sacrifices I had made and I knew I was doing a good job and furthermore, that aunt was happy. But I was still crushed.
I thought to myself about the niece, do you really know your aunt to be making such comments!!
But, I took what she said to heart and I changed a couple of things….not anything as serious as what you are dealing with needed to be addressed for aunt, but I decided there was room for improvement.
I decided to listen to what this niece had to say and I did make some changes and felt better for it.
So, in your situation, there are two things to consider. At least two things. Do you have the right to place your friend where you did? Evidently so.
Is it the right decision? I’m sure I don’t know but nothing wrong with asking that critic their ideas and giving them proper consideration. They may be right. sometimes we get locked into a decision that isn’t a bad one, but it doesn’t mean their aren’t other decisions that might be better.
So, my answer to your post, how do you deal with them? Consider what they have to say. It’s always good to have checks and balances.
The job can be so consuming that sometimes we have to make decisions that are the best for all the people involved, truly involved, and not necessarily the very best for the patient. And often we have to make decisions for the LO and our own peace of mind and sadly can’t take everyone else’s suggestions. But do consider them if for no other reason than to wind your way right back to where you are and to realize that you are doing what was requested by the one you are caring for. This usually takes about 30 seconds.
You tell them that they are out of line, and this isn't their business.
You can dress this up nicely or not, dependent on their approach.
Give you two instances:
#1. Irma, your friend's OTHER friend says "Oh, Fad. This isn't the right place for ______ (your friend. This place is awful!"
You would reply "Irma, __________(friend) trusted me implicitly in being her POA and I am fulfilling her wishes to the best of my ability. This really is my business, and isn't open for discussion."
#2 The much nicer friend of your friend says " Fad, are you pretty sure of where _____ is now?"
You say "Much nicer, I am doing as I think best, and it isn't something I as POA am free to discuss with anyone else". Big smile.
You will have here total freedom. Look them straight in the eyes with a stare that says loud and clear "YOU will NOT go HERE again".