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I come back and take a peek at this form once in a while. I just read through the whole thread of the week my mom died, which left me in tears. You were all so wonderful and supportive. It made me feel so much less alone.
For those who remember me it’s been a tough year. However, my brother was able to get a small, “fixer-upper” home of his own with half the proceeds from mom’s house. I have very little involvement with him now.
In the course of settling mom’s estate it came to light that that mom’s parents’ estates weren’t settled properly and had to be reopened.
So I am currently the executor of mom’s estate and the successor executor of my grandparent’s estates. It’s a ton of work and thousands of dollars in legal fees. I DO want to follow through on it all, so that everything will be in order for my kids when my husband and I die.
For those that are new to this forum or to caregiving. Please consider carefully what you are taking on if/when you become a caregiver. Many people here advised me not to take on management of my mothers care when she went into home hospice.
I thought she had weeks to maybe a couple of months to live, but she lived for almost 7 months, bed bound. Although I did hire in home care, I was in charge of everything and it was grueling. I loved my mom very much and I don’t regret my decision, but it was a LOT more than I anticipated. It took a toll on my health, my mental health and my family.
If your elder is struggling now, keep in mind that that they will continue to decline as they age, and you may be providing a much higher level of care down the road.
Also, if you do become a primary caregiver, make sure you have durable power of attorney, and you are the health care proxy. Make sure all legal and financial documents are in order and that you can pay for your elders care out of THEIR money.
I appreciate all of the long time members and newer folks that are here supporting people. You are a blessing.🙏❤️
Much love,Lilly

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I do hope that you will do more than "take a peek" at the forum.
It seems to me that you have learned a lot from your experience and there are others that can benefit from your experiences.
I thank you for the update.
Be well 🙏
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Thank you so much, Alva, for your kind words. I just read your recent post about planning and saving for your own care. My next step is to do the same. You are truly an inspiration!
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Lilly, it is so very good to hear from you.
I well remember you and have thought of you.
I'm so happy to hear your news, all of it. I know at present you are way busy with all you are trying to get settled. I will bet you are learning a whole TON of stuff, and I can't help but hope that when you have time you will come back and man the fort here with us on AgingCare. You more than put in your time.
Continued best wishes to you and again I'm so happy to hear from you.
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