Dad, for those who follow, has asked the Con to stay with him to help him at home. Brother ( POA) says while he’s still basically making his decisions we need to step out. Dad is in rehab now and since the Con offered he accepted. None of his kids are able to take care of him at his home. We offered other alternatives which he declines. He tells brother she only has a car ( no other assets except $ her mom left her and she gets a disibility check. ). He says he will be paying her to stay & take care of him. She is single without a home for info.
Im not feeling it for MANY reasons. One, she will not be paying rent or a mortgage. Food, utilities, etc. are free. All she is going to do is put her disibility checks in the bank and maybe use $ for gas and personal items. Isn’t this a free ride already? In return she gives him companionship, cooks and shops, helps him with laundry, and hands him stuff around the house. Should he be paying her? I think not. He feels it’s the right thing.
None of us agree with her moving on in. He says basically too bad. Ugh.
You seem to dislike her for some personal reason, but if she is doing the caregiving she deserves to be paid, just as any other caregiver would be.
It’s about not letting the Con or Scam win.
That’s what we care about. It’s a fun , cruel game they play while smiling to our faces and especially their target. Its about saving some small piece of dignity for this man unfortunately after he passes.. He won’t know but we will. That’s literally IT!
Put yourself in the same position and how would you feel if your mother or father?
If you don't care about his house, money, etc., what are you going to fight with your stepsister about after your father dies?
No, really could care less about his assets ( minimal anyhow and thinking he left to charities like the VFW, Vets , etc). .Which we commend him for. It’s all about what we believe is a con in process. It’s about not seeing the last years of his life sucked dry. He doesn’t deserve it! The man spent > 30 years in the military, saw action, and he survived multiple times.
You obviously didn’t read well the posts. I stated parents don’t owe children. We could care less. House, money, whatever is NOT the issue!
The rest of that info doesn’t need to be on here other than they are making them together.
Does your father have significant assets? Are you worried that she's going to end up inheriting what you think should be yours?
Why is your father in the hospital? (Or is rehab after hospital now?) When is he going to come home? Does he make his own decisions, or does your brother?
A live-in caregiving gets room and board as a perk. They also get paid at least minimum wage. If the POA is not worried, either should you be. I do agree that a contract should be done defining her job description and wages. Time off. And it should stipulate that upon Dad being placed in care or passes, that she can no longer reside in the home. So she better be putting money aside to get her own place when that happens.
Hey, this arrangement is good for both of them. He gets someone to care for him and the house and she gets a roof over her head and some xtra money. You say in your posts that none of "his" kids can care for him in his home. He found someone he likes to care for him. Its up to ur brother to make sure everything works out and he is not taken advantage of. You have no control if he is competent.
At the minimum that kind of job, which is appointments, meds admin, chores, cooking, companionship is already several jobs.
That would be at least $10,000 per month.
Suggesting somebody does that for free or room and board, because they can save their check is simply not right, Con or not, for job that could potentially become more complex and demanding, if you distrust her get another person.
Let me ask you a question.
Are you willing to work a job where free room and board replaces the actual money wages?
I'm guessing probably not. I was an in-home caregiver for almost 25 years and I was never willing to accept room and board instead of wages.
Your father is correct in thinking that he should be paying his domestic help wages. Jobs pay wages. Money wages. The free room and board can figure in as part of the wages, but does not replace the wages.
Take your brother's advice and step out. He sounds like a very astute man.
Also, it's really none of your business what 'Con' does with her disability checks or what kind of assets she has. I'll let you in on a fact though. If she's on SSI income because she didn't put in enough time working and paying taxes on 'the books' then she cannot earn outside money or she will get cut off. So she will not be able to just have her checks dropped into a bank account to build up because they check up on this sort of thing. If she's got money building up, her SSI gets cut off.
Your father will have to pay her literally in cash money. Try to talk him into letting your brother handle his finances. I don't blame the guy for wanting to stay in his own home if he can afford to. Your father might not have cared for your 'alternatives' for his care needs.
Tie the money up. You and your brother should talk to your father about paying her only a certain amount for services. Draw up an employment contract with her too.
for this person. A nursing home would be $7000 to $8000 a month. Are you willing to give up your life to do it. If this person is willing and your dad is to…do it and count your blessings!