Follow
Share

Gday, backstory no dementia still pretty sharp great vitals yet anemic 9.5 last reading...Very little energy in bed 95% of time,rests 1/3 day sleeps 2/3 mostly during the day..We excercise most days,walk the hallway,leg lifts,arm lifts and practice sets getting up from side of bed..She can make back and forth to bathroom by herself most of the time a bit scary at night so she will call me in to help with depends and such...Appetite is sketchy it's hard to get 1300 calories a day into her..Big on supplements, green food,ensures,oj...loves waffles in am and meatloaf and potatoes 3 xs a week..Vitals are always perfect..Trying to figure out the normality of this, I'm her son caretaker..Any advice shares much appreciated..Hard to see her washed out, some days I think she will see 100 other days i'm hoping tomorrow....

I think you are doing great and she’s as good as can be for 96! My question is about YOU as you are likely 70 or thereabouts. Are you eating healthy, sleeping well, getting fresh air and moving about most days?

Do you have lots in your life and sources of interest and joy? I hope so.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Suzy23
Report
peteyg33 Jan 15, 2025
Im 57, there's been pressure ,confusion..A yr ago she broke her shoulder and spent a month in a rehab..Has zero pain in shoulder and 80% mobility truly a miracle from God....the last few yrs have been the hardest of my life yet rewarding as well God states do not disregard your mother when she's old and I made a promise to my father the day he died 11 yrs ago I would look after her and my 2 siblings..The siblings let us down and it's ok we have Jesus and faith...I'm good very blessed and the down times pass..ty for y concern
(0)
Report
I am 75 and don't eat much more than 1300 a day.

Your Mom is getting enough calories for someone who is sedentary. The first thing to give out is the legs. Good that you get her up and moving. She is 96. Let her do and eat what she wants. She has earned it. Your doing great.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
peteyg33 Jan 15, 2025
good to hear ty...
(0)
Report
You and your mom are doing great! She's eating, she's moving about, and despite being a bit anemic (which happens to the elderly often), she sounds in good health! Well done! She's 96, she's just worn out a bit so that if she's not waking a lot during the night, let her nap during the day. Feed her what she likes. If she wants more sweets, so be it. If it's meatloaf she desires...get the ground beef prepared. It's normal to see her slowing down, and yes, it's terribly sad to know that her life is drawing to a close, BUT it's normal and you will be fine.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Tynagh
Report
peteyg33 Jan 15, 2025
ty for support
(0)
Report
My father, mid 90s, also became anemic. The doc said: "Fred, if we do all the testing and it turns out you have a disease, and need blood transfusions and surgery, maybe chemo, what would you do?" And my dad said "I wouldn't take ANY of it". And the doc smiled and said "Good. Saves us having to test".
The truth is that you can't know what's causing the anemia, but treatment of it would likely be more deadly than just kind of moving along with things.
Appetite and sleepiness will become more and more the norm. Often seniors wish to talk a lot less. They often do a sort of life reminiscence that's private to them, and that they enjoy. A sort of dreamy world.

I think my father was exhausted, and able to express that. He said he just wanted really to nap and longed for the last good nap. He died without pain in his easy chair. I felt only relief that any pain and loss was over for him, and for me standing witness to it.
I hope you will feel the same relief when your loved and lucky mom passes to that last long nap.

I wouldn't push food she doesn't want or like. Anything else she wants, let her have it. It's time for all things that bring comfort and nothing that does not bring it. Wish you both the best.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report
peteyg33 Jan 15, 2025
she does have magus a pre cancer that's benign , her primary affirmed that it's normal and at her age just do what your doing..blood draws every 6 to 8 weeks... ty for kind words
(0)
Report
She's so blessed to have such an attentive and caring son as you! May you receive peace in your heart.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Geaton777
Report
peteyg33 Jan 15, 2025
ty for kind words as Christians I read mom some verses daily...
(0)
Report
Would she drink a milkshake?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Bulldog54321
Report
peteyg33 Jan 14, 2025
she loves chocolate milk shakes, what hurts me is seeing her in bed 90% of the time, the progression toward the end is upon us...
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
It sounds like you are taking wonderful care of your mom Petey. The appetite thing has been hard for us too as mom is eating and drinking less. It sounds like you are having good success with getting her to do some exercises and intake some calories...lots of the caregivers here have good ideas and there are lots of ideas too in the resources under caregiving topics. Seeing our parents get older is hard, 96 is pretty amazing.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to SteadyD
Report
peteyg33 Jan 14, 2025
ty for kindness
(2)
Report
Sounds like your mom is doing great, can’t expect better or more considering she’s nearing a century. Follow her lead, if she wants sleep, let her sleep, if she wants meatloaf and mashed potatoes, so be it. My beloved grandmother was healthy and whole well into her 90’s and often stated her firm wish not to see 100, thankfully she got her wish. I hope you’re caring for yourself as well, and wish you both the best
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report
peteyg33 Jan 14, 2025
good advice tx
(0)
Report
testing
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to peteyg33
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter