Beloved pet needs euthanasia. Do we tell our loved one?

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Beloved pet needs euthanasia. Do we tell our loved one?

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My mom has a very dangerous dog. They live rurally, and he's bitten 3 people so badly that they've had to be taken to hospital. No one has reported the incidents because my mother has Alzheimer's. She's obsessed with the dog (which is part of the dog's problem) and everyone feels bad about being the one that has to have the dog put to sleep. However, I'm home now, and the dog is so aggressive he has to be locked away, as he would put me in hospital.

My dad is now realising my mom and he need some at home help, but they can't get it because of the dog. I'm only home for a week, and I'm trying to re-home him, but it's so unlikely that this will happen. Realistically, I need to have him euthanised.

I will do this on my own, without telling my mom, but what I'm wondering is, should we just tell her the dog ran off? Should we say someone hit the dog and it died while we were out? So difficult... I feel awful, but I really don't think there's hope for this poor hound.

Alzheimer's & Dementia Communication & Language Mom Pets

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This dog should have been put down the second time he bit someone. What if he attacks a child.

With ALZ, its best to tell a little white lie but only if she asks. She may forget the dog, out of sight out of mind.

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Reply to JoAnn29

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I agree totally. After that second bite, he should have been put to sleep.

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Please don’t rehome what you know to be a dangerous dog. Euthanize the dog without apology. Tell mom the dog was sick, because that’s true, a sick dog behaves this way, and had to be put to sleep. If she mourns the loss, that’s okay. No need for a more complex story

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Reply to Daughterof1930

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I would call Animal Control for their county and have them take the dog away and deal with it, for everyone's safety. You can't in good conscience re-home a dog that is a known aggressive biter. And you shouldn't attempt to get the dog to the vet to euthanize it. Let the professionals deal with it. If it's a rural dog, it may not have any vaccinations, and could have distemper. If they don't have animal control you call the non-emergency police number and tell them about the dangerous dog that needs to be removed.

Make sure your Mom is not home or is distracted elsewhere when they come to get the dog. You tell your Mom a therapeutic fib about the dog: it needed to go to the vet for a check-up. If she has memory impairment, she may keep asking where the dog is and you keep telling her it's at the vet for a check-up. Then distract her or change the subject.

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Reply to Geaton777

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Yes, you tell mom.
Yes, it will be hard for her and she will cry.
Crying is a part of living; we all have to mourn loved people and pets we cannot keep.

A vicious and dangerous dog is a KILLER. It is exceptionally negligent to keep such an animal alive. This dog should be put mercifully to sleep at once. Your local shelter will do this when you explain circumstances. Do not delay. My city has seen a woman literally torn to pieces and killed in her own hallway, as well as a boy, left home alone with two dogs, and mauled to DEATH.

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Reply to AlvaDeer

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There have been too many dangerous dogs allowed to live "because we can train them", and then the dog kills a child or adult. Some dogs cannot be rehabilitated and you need to put them down to protect others.

(9)

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Yes, get the dog PTS. It is truly the kindest route for an aggresive, unsocialized beast.

I would not have animal control come, unles you can have them come when mom is not home, otherwise your mom will be fully aware they are there and it could become a nightmare for you and her.

Maybe replace it with a breed that doesn't have agressive DNA. Then she can have a fur buddy that isn't a danger.

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Reply to Isthisrealyreal

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How would the OP get the dog to the vet, seeing as it is so dangerous?

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You cannot rehome a dangerous dog!!! You must have it put down. You can either have an officer come out and get the dog and tell them it is a danger and take it to be euthanized or tell her a story. Depends on what she can understand. They could be sued for all they own. Even though the locals won’t sue, their children could. Never rehome a dangerous dog.

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Reply to RetiredBrain

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My father had dementia and we found out his dearest friend from childhood had died. We agonized about telling him but we felt it was best because he deserved to know. It was heartbreaking to watch his reaction as he sobbed. What we didn’t take into consideration was because he would forget and then ask about his friend again and again it was heartbreak for him all over again. I wish I had never told him the truth.

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Reply to Rollergirl228

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Friend went through this last week with husband. After telling him that his much younger best friend had died and seeing husband's reaction, she decided to skip the viewing. When husband asked about him a few days later because he didn't remember that friend had passed, she told him that she hasn't heard in a while but is sure all is well. That satisfies her husband and then it slips his mind. You have my sympathy. Honesty is not always the most compassionate way to be.

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I wonder if she'd realize he's even gone. My mother LOVED my dog Muffin. Muffin had to be put to sleep two weeks ago because she had a brain tumor and she was in pain. I had no idea how I would tell my mom when I got home. But she never even noticed that Muffin was gone. I thought it was so strange, but she's never mentioned Muffin at all. I never brought up Muffin again. Hopefully your mom is to the stage where she wouldn't recognize the dog is gone. Also, I am glad you're putting that dog down. Just think how you would have felt if he killed someone? I've been in dog rescue for 15 years and sometimes there's that one dog that is just a danger and cannot be trained or rehabilitated. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

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Reply to Jacquelinezr

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Tell her that the dog is outside, having a great time playing. Or tell her he's in another room, taking a nap. Pretend to look for him.

SILENT, DEADLY ATTACK. See my story below.

I'm surprised you all haven't been sued. He could kill someone. The police should have been notified. After our experience (below), we realized our Rhodesian Ridgeback could have quickly and easily killed one of us. Husband is 6'3", 260 lbs. We had her for 7 months, was about 4-5 yrs old. Never seen aggression toward our cats, etc.

A large 80 lb dog we that we owned, quietly walked over to our Cocker, put his mouth on the back of dog's neck, bit and crushed everything in his neck, immediately KILLING our Cocker Spaniel. Unprovoked. Cocker was drinking water at the time in the kitchen. This was done less than 8 feet from me. I screamed. Ridgeback dragged Cocker a few feet, finished tearing out his larynx and entire throat. She smiled at me, her mouth dripping with the Cockers blood.

Why? I think she thought Cocker was being ornery (which he never was). Don't be arrogant and think you have control over dogs. You don't! BTW, the Ridgeback planned this. The day before, she came over to where I was standing in the kitchen; the Cocker was standing next to me. The R opened her mouth over the Cockers neck as though R was 'measuring' it. Strange. I had no idea that measuring was a precursor to the brutal killing of the 30 lb sweet Cocker.

We took Ridgeback to vet who agreed wholeheartedly, on putting the dog down. No one would ever be safe around dog. No one = children, animals, adults. I believe that Ridgeback didn't know she had done anything wrong. Doesn't change the potential.... BTW, she slept with my husband every night while he watched TV; cuddled up next to him. She could have quietly torn out his neck....anytime.

Story is meant to wake YOU up.

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Reply to Elizperkhteba

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I cannot imagine how deeply saddened this made you, losing both of your beloved pets in such a tragic way. Wishing you comfort and peace.

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Retired veterinarian here. States take the risk of rabies very seriously. For instance, if an unvaccinated pet bites someone while it is being euthanized, the law requires that the head be removed and the brain tested for rabies. (There is no other way to test.) The horror and expense of this procedure is something you want to avoid. Even without the risk of rabies, dog bites can be very painful, even disfiguring. I would not involve the volunteers at an animal shelter. Call Animal Control and let the professionals deal with it. I'm sorry for your mom but from what you say, she has not been a responsible pet owner and she is putting people at risk of harm. Perhaps you can get her out of the house while they come get the dog, and maybe you can make up a story for her.

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Reply to Questor

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Thank you for contributing with years of knowledge and experience. I am certain you love dogs, as do I, and would offer another solution if there was one.
I was bitten by a random, leashed dog three weeks ago and couldn’t have imagined the amount of tissue damage it caused. It is still healing. Thank God it was a nip and not a full-mouthed bite but I will have a nice round scar to remind me to keep even farther away from strange dogs.

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How about if the dog is sent to obedience/training school? You don't mention that the dog has ever gone after her or your father.

Your mother loves the dog. There are other solutions to the problem than killing it.

I was a homecare worker for 25 years and am now in the business of it. I worked in many homes where there was dogs and some of them dangerous. I always insisted that the dogs be secured in a room, outside (weather permitting), put in the basement, or garage during my shifts. So really, it's not such a big deal.

Don't kill the dog if your mother loves it as much as you say. Try sending it to training school instead.

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Reply to BurntCaregiver

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BC, training and obedience school is not for the dog, it is to train the owners how to deal with their dog.

This situation calls for euthanasia because dogs get a taste for blood, as this dog obviously has.

I rescue and train german shepards, some are beyond helping them have a good long life, bad breeding makes them dangerous to everyone, including the beloved owner, their brains are broken, nothing can change that.

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Dog trainer here- please remove the dog as the bites that sent people to the hospital are considered past what can be rehabilitated through training and IF the owners could manage the dog through strict environmental conditions it’s STILL a risk.

I totally understand your situation and although it’s difficult, you cannot ethically rehome the dog due to that history. I’m very sorry for this situation and wish you strength.

Based on your mother’s level of understanding, that should match what you tell her, so if she doesn’t understand, then tell her a therapeutic fib; if she’s generally coherent, tell her the truth.

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Reply to puptrnr

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Tell mom the dog was sent to a farm where he can run to his hearts content and be happy. Then buy her an interactive toy dog that's intended for Alzheimer's patients who many love and interact with better than real dogs.

https://a.co/d/gFpO9WR

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Reply to lealonnie1

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GSMarshal: Tell mom that the dog had to go to obedience school.

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Reply to Llamalover47

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As the saying goes, a dog is entitled to its first bite. At the second bite, a decision must be made to euthanize the pet.

There has been lots of good advice given, much of it from professionals. There really is only one response, and Mom probably can’t do it. I hope you are able to have this done before you must leave next week. No guilt, just common sense decision making.

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Reply to ForWhatItsWorth

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Take your mother out for the day. Call animal control to remove that animal from the premise. When your mother returns home minus her dog, tell your mom, “Sorry, but this dangerous dog needed to be removed and sent to a dog farm to get better.”, as a good excuse.

Is the dog updated with its vaccinations?? Consider public safety. Because, the owner or agent is responsible for the dog’s action that may lead to a legal action.

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Reply to Patathome01

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Pay no attention to those even suggesting that a dog that put THREE PEOPLE in the hospital is worth “training” in the home.

Take him to the shelter. Pay the surrender fee. State that he is a biter.

Then go home and tell them the dog is rehomed. Because he is. He’s in a shelter, all of which have behavior experts who will make the decision on euth vs rehab without you. In fact, they’re not allowed to tell you. Which is better for all.

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Reply to PeggySue2020

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Vets deal with this all the time. ... And after the dog is gone, change the subject with mother; don't argue with her.

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Reply to EddyJC

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Dog attacking more than once- could end up killing someone
maybe next time a child
the dog ran into the road and got knocked down
Didn’t want to upset you
But they couldn’t save him
maybe get him cremated
we have pets in the past cremated
unless you get a trainer owner the dog will attack again
it’s not worth the risk of injury to another person

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Reply to Jenny10

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This dangerous dog is to be directly picked up by animal control, muzzled by tough gloved handlers so he won’t bite anyone, caged, sedated and transported to the shelter to be destroyed. This dog is like a wild animal that is not social. No resident can even take the dangerous animal by himself to an animal shelter.

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Reply to Patathome01

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If your mom asks why the dog is gone, you cannot tell her that the dog was put down. If she has Alzheimer's, she will end up grieving over and over again, as she forgets what happened.

You will need to employ
Therapeutic Lying, "Oh, Fido is at the veterinarian office for a couple days for ______ ."

People with Alzheimer's cannot understand death in the same way as they used to. Do you really want her to suffer over and over again?

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Reply to NinjaWarrior3

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You do not tell her anything. Period.
I presume you are asking out of respect to her. However, you do not 'talk logic' to a person with dementia.

You communicate in any way that will keep them as calm as possible. Remember, their brain chemistry has changed and continues to change; they have lost / losing brain cells. Their brain cannot comprehend / understand as it / they used to prior to having dementia.

If she asks about the dog. You say: He is fine and happy. Period.
Then change the subject.

You might want to get a book on dementia and/or watch You Tubes. Google TEEPA SNOW. She is one of the country's leading experts on dementia.

A basic foundation to understand what dementia is and how to communicate with a person inflicted with it will help you. It will help you feel more in control when visiting with her. Learn to use non-verbal communication skills (smile, eye contact, calm even tone of voice, gentle touch as appropriate).

Gena / Touch Matters

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Reply to TouchMatters

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Sorry to say, but you must have the dog euthanized.

You cannot take the risk of him mauling or killing anyone.
If you cannot even handle the dog and have to lock him up, there is no other choice.
Don't mention anything to your Mom. See if she notices he's even gone.

Any dog can bite, big or little. The big ones are capable of killing a person. Your parents are incredibly fortunate they haven't been sued. The courts don't look favorably on people who let their dog bite multiple people.

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Reply to JanPeck123

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I had a similar problem. My mom's cats and dogs were having anxiety because they could tell things were changing again. First big change was the sudden death of my dad. Their cat became very aggressive and would attack my dogs when I was there. When we got ready to re-home the pets so she could move to a smaller place. When my mom picked up that cat to put him in the crate, he sunk his teeth into my mom's hand. I told her to drop him. We ended up in the ER till 3am and her hand and arm was very swollen, painful and red. She had to take a second round of antibiotics. She was able to keep one pet and elected to keep the Beagle. Unfortunately the beagle became I'll with distended belly and dragging hind quarters. The vet had to take her in on a emergent basis and would call us. I took the call and the beagle's abdomen was filled with tumor and she recommended euthanasia. My mom was looking at me as I spoke to the vet. I began to cry since she was such a wonderful dog and she was my dad's dog. She was also most affected by the loss of my dad, and Mom's subsequent ambulance ride to the hospital. That dog sat on the porch and watched as the ambulance took my mom away, just as they had taken my dad away. And he never came home. The beagle howled for nearly an hour after seeing my mom get taken away. Now we were losing that sweet dog. When I got off the phone with the vet, my mom said, "you took her to be put to sleep didn't you?" I assured her I would never do that. I explained that the beagle had cancer and that's why she couldn't walk on all 4's and the distended belly . The one thing that helped was having her cremated and they put her ashes in a nice wood urn with the dogs name on the front and a set of her footprints. I put that on the fireplace mantle with her collar. I also put a picture of the dog next to it. I think the loving memorial helped my mom come to terms with her loss. I hope the suggestion helps.

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Reply to Karineedsrest

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That's so sad, but also very heartwarming.

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I’d go with it ran off. Out of sight means out of mind eventually.

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Reply to Lmkcbz

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How about a little empathy? Mom,as you're getting older, the dog is sensing something. He's/She's getting more protective and is hurting people. We can't allow that to happen. There's nothing anyone can do to help the dog. We know that you love the dog but we also know that you wouldn't want your beloved pet branded for his/her instinct to protect you. Mom,the dog wants to protect you so much that we can't control it! You can't control its instinct to protect you either. The dog is uncontrollable and needs to be put down, we can do this together if you want. This is very important, she must be there. I don't know why. It has something to do with finalization. I don't know what that means either. It's somewhere between you see and have to accept it. You know what happened. You know you lost something/someone you lost. I've been through a few euthanasia with my pets,cat mom for 40 years and it gave me peace. I was there to say goodbye and thank every kitty that I adopted from the humane society. Nothing says love like adoption! My first love was Cuddles,lived to 21 cat years,I think we were together 14 years. How could I stop there? I've gone humane society since, so did my mother. I don't know if this helped or hurt. I'm sorry the dog has to be put down, really sorry because it was confused. I'm suggesting, if possible, adopt and honor your pet by adoption? Tell mom the dog had substantial injuries and you and her need to say goodbye. Both mom and the dog will forgive you on your decision. Trust me,animals were meant to be with humans. We just don't treat them as well as we should.

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Reply to JuliaH

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Julia, alzheimers/dementia changes everything. You can not provide enough empathy when someone is soooooo far gone that they don't see the problem with a dog that bites severely enough for a trip to the hospital.

It just isn't realistic.

Kinda like someone crapping themselves and being okay with it because they get attention. Nope, broken brain changes everything.

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Tell her that he passed - no details. Don't bring it up again.

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Reply to Taarna

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This animal apparently has never been socialized. Even "spanking" will not teach an angry animal to behave with people.

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Reply to Patathome01

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Animals only respond to positive reenforcement of behaviors.

Spanking an animal is useless and only creates fear.

I have had to put a grown Shepard to the ground by the throat, that is a language they understand but, dang it was a huge risk with a vicious dog that was trying to intimate me. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone that isn't absolutely confident and willing to get attacked.

Just an FYI for anyone freaking out, it saved her life, she got the point that she wasn't the alpha.

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This post is almost 10 days old. Hopefully the OP has already had this poor dog put down.

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Reply to JoAnn29

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Beloved pet needs euthanasia. Do we tell our loved one?

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