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My husband lost his vision due to an aggressive form of glaucoma that did not respond to treatment. At first he experienced Charles Bonnet Syndrome hallucinations and that kind of masked his cognitive decline -- or I was in denial? He's now in severe cognitive decline with full-blown hallucinations, visual and auditory.


I'm in declining health with congestive heart failure. The blindness and dementia seem to amplify each other. I have not had a break at all as his sole caregiver. He needs my help with EVERYTHING and he fights me to the point of becoming aggressive, sometimes even abusive. He doesn't know he's doing it. He's physically strong as an ox and I do not have my former physical strength or stamina. I'm frail.


The only thing I've done for myself is set up grocery delivery. My husband is a veteran and I am completing the paperwork to get him (hopefully) into the VA healthcare system. I don't know what to expect for costs, as I'm sure we're over the income limit. He's a Vietnam veteran, which I believe now has a slightly higher priority than before. He was exposed, like most, to chemicals, x-rays, and oil burn pits.


I've read how hard going to respite care is on the person with dementia and re-entry to home challenging. I feel guilty asking for help. But I know I need to make arrangement as he could very likely outlive me even though I'm 13 years younger. Caregiving has taken a huge toll on my health.


How difficult is it to get into the VA system and the care needed for my husband? And how expensive, if there are co-pays? Anyone with experience in this area? Thank you.

Your husband, I am so sorry to say (but believe you already understand) must now be in care.
You are not capable of continuing due to your health.
Insisting on doing this may well kill you.
Where would that leave your husband? In the care he should now already be in.

Please get hubby placed as soon as you are able.
As you can well imagine, that is on you and whomever can/is willing to help you or can be HIRED to help you.
This is critical.

Guilt is out of the question and should honestly not be something you tell yourself. Words matter. We convince ourselves of things. We want to blame someone and at times the only ones we come up with TO blame is ourselves.
1. Guilt REQUIRES causation.
2. You didn't cause this
3. You can't fix or change this.
The word you are looking for is the "other" g-word which is grief. Your heart is breaking. You aren't a Saint or a God and you can't make these problems go away.
Standing witness to this pain and loss and grief is hard. Tear and rage are the norm and should be allow; if this isn't worth the grieving then nothing on earth IS.l

I am so sorry. I hope there is family, friends, faith-based community, SOMEONE to help you now. Truly I am so sorry and hope you'll update us.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Please lose the misplaced guilt, you’ve done your best and his situation is simply beyond your capacity to continue care in the home. I hope you’ll discard completely the idea of respite care and have him moved full time into a VA nursing home. A friend of mine moved her husband into one after he couldn’t recover from a badly broken hip, complicated by Parkinson’s. It has been good for them both. He has a community of people with common experiences of being in the military and has enjoyed the social aspects of the place. My friend visits as a rested wife instead of a scared, wrung out caregiver. She told me recently they’d shared a banana split like a date from years ago and had a great time together. She mentioned it wouldn’t have been possible without her being rested and him being well cared for. Please don’t accept abuse even once more, call 911 the minute it starts and have him transported to the hospital, requesting an evaluation for your safety. I hope you’ll prioritize your health and wellbeing. Your husband, despite it all, knows your love and wouldn’t want this current life for you.
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You have to put your husband into LTC. Your safety is ar risk trying to care for him yourself. You're not doing anything wrong here and have no reason to feel guilty. You love your husband and want him to be well cared for. You cannot give him the care he needs. That's not your fault in any way.

It's difficult to get into the VA system depending on where you are. and I'll tell you he won't get into a veteran's home unless his glaucoma-related blindness and cognitive decline are directly related to his military service and there's medical proof of it. You can try, but have a Plan B too.

If you put him in a nursing home (memory care probably won't be an option if he needs skilled care) your lifestyle won't change all that much. If you're dependent on his income as his spouse, Medicaid will be reasonable to you. You will not have to vacate your house if you own it and he's placed either. Medicaid is a lot more reasonable to deal with than the business end of a nursing home.

A good place for you to start is by having a consultation with an attorney who specializes in elder law and estate planning. They will help you plan.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Sorry for this difficult situation. I just spent 3 yrs dealing with my Ex husband, a Vietnam combat veteran with PSTD who was evicted and had no family left.

The VA System is terrible, Your income doesn't matter for VA Medical. If your husband is a war veteran he is entitled to it, unless he had a dishonorable discharge. Find his form DD214 (he got when he was discharged from the military) and make copies. The VA Emergency number is: (800) 273-8255. You can call them and ask what to do, but don't expect much. Especially since Trump just had 2,200 VA staff members fired from the Dept. of Veterans Affairs. When I called them 3 yrs ago they were useless. I took him to the nearest VA Hospital (he already had VA Medical) and was told to "make appt and come back" and I did not leave until I got an appt.! He doesn't need VA Medical to help him, I have found civilian doctors helped mine the best!

What doctor has been treating him for his glaucoma and possible dementia/hallucinations? Does he refuse to go to doctors or Urgent Care nearby? They will have him taken to the nearest ER for you. Does he see a regular Doctor at all? First you contact that doctor, and tell them he has gotten delusional and violent, and you are afraid. He must have a primary doctor, since he must already have Medicare, being over 65.

Don't worry he may have a "hard time adjusting to respite care" when he could easily hurt or kill you! You need to call 911 the next time he acts up, and tell the police he needs to be escorted to the ER, since he has become violent and you fear for your safety!

The ER will figure it out. He needs to be diagnosed currently, before he seriously injures you. You cannot do this all by yourself anymore!

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. It's not your fault he got glaucoma. While you apply for VA Healthcare, his Medicare pays for his treatment. VA Healthcare does have co-pays and not the best doctors. Get this current emergency situation under control with civilian doctors first. When he gets on VA Healthcare, it will take more doctor visits with them next. It will take several visits to get any help from the VA. I had no help either, since he wasn't as disabled and sick as yours is.

After your husband gets diagnosed (by VA or civilian doctors) then you can start asking them to order him Home care nurses to come a few times a week, so you get a break. You can find a Certified Veterans Service Officer (VSO) in your County to apply for VA service compensation money next. Until you get a current diagnosis, the VA won't do much. It will take a month or so to get him seen, referred for CT scans, MRI, blood work and more. About 4 visits minimum to get an updated diagnosis. My VSO told me vets shot in combat (and have Purple Hearts) don't get anything from the VA. Unless you know exactly how to get their complicated paperwork submitted by all their deadlines, you get nothing. It took 7 forms, a Zoom interview with VA Doctors, meeting with an VA Interviewer, plus all the medical tests needed, by various specialists. If he hates seeing doctors, or refuses to cooperate, you are going to have a hard time. He may need to be placed in Skilled Nursing or LTC because of his complicated disabilities. You simply cannot cannot handle this pressure alone, especially with CHF. He needs proper meds and healthcare plan if he wants to live at home. It can't be all you, all the time. He needs 24/7 care and one person cannot do it all. Especially with his level of dementia, he is dangerous.

I wish you strength to get this situation under control as soon as possible. You need to take care of your own health too.
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Reply to Dawn88
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Please don't feel guilty. All this is not you fault. I cared for my dad with my mum at home but it has downsides too. I am writing from Poland and when you care for someone at home the medical system ignores you. When I was a caregiver I was in a fight and flight mode and after my dad died I ended up with PTSD and loads of guilt. With dementia there are never good choices. Usually both options are bad and one just tries to choose the lesser evil. If I were in this alone I would not make it. Focus on what you can control-you cannot take care for your husband at home but you CAN try to find him a nice place to stay and visit him frequently. All the best!
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Reply to AlicjaKarolina1
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BurntCaregiver Mar 22, 2025
That was nicely said, AlicjaKarolina1. You are right about being pretty much ignored by the healthcare system if you care for someone at home. That's wrong because it saves so much money to any healthcare system to keep a person out of a care facility.
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Respite care is intended as short term respite for the CARER. It probably isn’t relevant for you (except perhaps while you sort out other options) because when it ends you will be in exactly the same position.

However I’ll tell you how good respite care was for my MIL (let alone for her carers). She had a large single room, with sunshine and a pleasant view. It was close to the entry desk, and the staff dropped in quite frequently for a quick chat with this new person who was quite able to chat sensibly. MIL really liked it, and at the end she decided to make it permanent. This is just so different from the horror stories you seem to have heard.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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First of all i am also a veteran and i would suggest that the first thing you do in this forum is to ignore the apparent negative responses about the VA. A lot depends on who you connect with in your vicinity. Try to find a VA representative near you and go directly with the problem. In most cases that will be your best avenue to approach. I was also a bit guilty of putting my sister in a care facility but after talking with the people involved with her care and knowing that i could not have done better i eventually got over it but still am a little sorry but at least know she is ok. Dont let this feeling make you suffer any worse. There is help out there and this forum is a good place to start.
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Reply to PandaKing
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I don't have any expertise regarding the VA but I will say, NO NOT feel guilty! This is a safety issue for you, and also for your husband. Do what is right for both of you.
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Reply to MG8522
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Get rid of guilt! You should not feel guilty since your husbands care is beyond your level of capacity. Most residents do not have the resources to last very long as cost run into thousands monthly. Facility care is very expensive, so he self pays. Good Luck with the VA.If his resources will soon run out, time to apply for Medicaid three months before funds run out.
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Reply to Patathome01
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Call your local VA and ask for a Social Worker to call you. They can help you.
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Reply to Credulous
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