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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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I was a roommate and morphed into caregiver. I can no longer physically care for him since his demands have changed. How do l find the proper care for him through Vetran's Admin?
You’ll need information from him before you pursue this. For instance, a DD 214 form with his service information. Dealing with the VA is a major headache, and they won’t talk to you about much unless you are designated by him.
You don't find the care. APS does. He can't make a phone call himself?
If such is the case, do an ER Dump. Have him sent to the hospital. Send whatever paperwork or family contact information you can get your hands on with him.
You're not his caregiver. If you two were only roomates and nothing else, then it's not your place to be his caregiver. If you were hired to be his caregiver, or there was some agreement made that's different. You can still walk away.
Is where you currently live his place? Do you rent a room or do you live for free in exchange for caregiving services? These are questions APS and the hospital social workers will be asking and you will have to answer them.
I agree with Burnt. Your job now is to find housing for yourself and that's hard enough. I am assuming you moved in with him. Report to APS that he will need help with basic maintenance until someone can get him registered with the VA Social Services and care options.
If he is competent, he needs to call his County VA office and find out what he is entitled to. If you have the ability leave. Call APS and tell them the man needs help. You are a roommate not a relative or his POA. You have helped him but you no longer can do it.
I've been trying to get my Ex his VA disability benefits (a Vietnam combat vet) or placed into a state CalVet Veteran Home facility (I'm in CA) for TWO Years. The VA is not helpful whatsoever, with various complicated forms they want. They require the Vet have TB tests, neurology tests, and various legal docs (POA, Advance Directive) before talking to you. There is so much paperwork required it is crazy.
He needs to get VA Medical established first. It takes 4 calls to set up one VA Dr. appt. Their SWs are outside contractors who don't help you at all. I was stunned how bad the entire VA Medical System is.
Find a CERTIFIED VSO (Veteran Service Officer) in your county to help you get the forms done and tell you what to do. He needs a Form DD 214 (his military discharge form), or nothing will happen. He must qualify for VA Medical benefits, and been seen by a VA doctor a few times for evaluations of his condition.
The Wait Lists for placement (if he needs 24/7 care) are 3-5 YEARS. They will offer you Adult Daycare and not much else. I would call APS to report a disabled Vet, that can't live alone, and they may have ways to get him help faster. You need copies of his service record and recent medical records to get him anything from the VA.
The VA talks a good game, but does the least possible. You have to be persistent, or have the VSO help you file the numerous complicated forms. Any "VA emergency numbers" you call never answer, you leave messages they never return. You can drag him into the nearest VA Hospital and demand help to get any, and will be made to come back "by appointment."
Google "VSO Officers" in your county and state first. Then try APS next. I wasted a year trying to do it myself. Let them know you aren't married, he has no family and you have to move away and he can't be left alone. Meanwhile, search for any military paperwork, and gather what you can.
If I hear "thank you for your service" from the VA staff one more time, I just may slap them senseless.
I know they suck & a bunch of bureaucratic paperwork sh*t idiots. My Father was WWII Vet & my Mother got Aide & Attendance. There was only one guy at VA office that I went in person to give him all paperwork. Then when he retired..was replaced by seat warmers. They audit everything & I gave them more data than they asked for. They would ask for same thing over again. More forms. I spent an entire summer filling out forms and paperwork for them. They’d send it back and say I left out one number and requested the whole thing done over. It was really meant to just break me, throw my hands up in disgust and despair. My advice is to use anyone but them. They suck. As a matter of fact, when my Father was alive and well, he said to my Mother & I never to put him in a VA home or hospital because they will kill him fast. They claimed that they believed my Mother still in nursing home..to which I replied that you came in person to house & saw her sitting in wheelchair next to my private pay aide. What part didn’t you get?!?
I do agree with others that say your primary job now is to take care of yourself.
That said, in the state I live in anyway, every county has a VA officer to help people navigate this. Though I see Dawn (who gave a great answer)has already addressed this. I might disagree with Dawn a little bit in that as in all things, there are good ones and bad ones. My uncle for example has a great VA rep at his local VA hospital.
When we were dealing with my dad getting free nursing home while having Alzheimers (private nursing home, but paid by contract with VA which is the way to go and the main help here was the social worker at the hospital who knew the VA system up and down.
List of State and County Veterans Service Officers (longtermcarelink.net)
Sorry, if the OP is truly a roommate and not related or a SO, its not up to them to get his paperwork together or talk to the VA. Seems to me OP just has a room and shares the bills and got thrust into caring for this person. Or maybe it started out just helping for free rent. Whatever, its too much for OP now. So, its now time for him to tell his roommate that he can no longer care for him. That he now has to find help. OP then gives him a time frame he will be leaving in writing. If the roommate does not get help set up ASAP, I would call APS in, inform them OP gave roommate fare warning and will be leaving that date. Then APS has to do something.
People will push others to the limit thinking if they don't do the person will have to stay. So a boundary needs to be set in this instance a date. If the roommate does nothing, thats not the OPs fault. By calling APS the OP has done what needs to be done. Make sure the frig in full. Things made convenient for the roommate. The room OP lived in clean and the common areas he used, bathroom and Kitchen. Maybe cleaning up roommates area but if he is a slob, might leave it that way for APS tob see.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You’ll need information from him before you pursue this. For instance, a DD 214 form with his service information. Dealing with the VA is a major headache, and they won’t talk to you about much unless you are designated by him.
If such is the case, do an ER Dump. Have him sent to the hospital. Send whatever paperwork or family contact information you can get your hands on with him.
You're not his caregiver. If you two were only roomates and nothing else, then it's not your place to be his caregiver. If you were hired to be his caregiver, or there was some agreement made that's different. You can still walk away.
Is where you currently live his place? Do you rent a room or do you live for free in exchange for caregiving services?
These are questions APS and the hospital social workers will be asking and you will have to answer them.
He needs to get VA Medical established first. It takes 4 calls to set up one VA Dr. appt. Their SWs are outside contractors who don't help you at all. I was stunned how bad the entire VA Medical System is.
Find a CERTIFIED VSO (Veteran Service Officer) in your county to help you get the forms done and tell you what to do. He needs a Form DD 214 (his military discharge form), or nothing will happen. He must qualify for VA Medical benefits, and been seen by a VA doctor a few times for evaluations of his condition.
The Wait Lists for placement (if he needs 24/7 care) are 3-5 YEARS. They will offer you Adult Daycare and not much else. I would call APS to report a disabled Vet, that can't live alone, and they may have ways to get him help faster. You need copies of his service record and recent medical records to get him anything from the VA.
The VA talks a good game, but does the least possible. You have to be persistent, or have the VSO help you file the numerous complicated forms. Any "VA emergency numbers" you call never answer, you leave messages they never return. You can drag him into the nearest VA Hospital and demand help to get any, and will be made to come back "by appointment."
Google "VSO Officers" in your county and state first. Then try APS next. I wasted a year trying to do it myself. Let them know you aren't married, he has no family and you have to move away and he can't be left alone. Meanwhile, search for any military paperwork, and gather what you can.
If I hear "thank you for your service" from the VA staff one more time, I just may slap them senseless.
That said, in the state I live in anyway, every county has a VA officer to help people navigate this. Though I see Dawn (who gave a great answer)has already addressed this. I might disagree with Dawn a little bit in that as in all things, there are good ones and bad ones. My uncle for example has a great VA rep at his local VA hospital.
When we were dealing with my dad getting free nursing home while having Alzheimers (private nursing home, but paid by contract with VA which is the way to go and the main help here was the social worker at the hospital who knew the VA system up and down.
List of State and County Veterans Service Officers (longtermcarelink.net)
People will push others to the limit thinking if they don't do the person will have to stay. So a boundary needs to be set in this instance a date. If the roommate does nothing, thats not the OPs fault. By calling APS the OP has done what needs to be done. Make sure the frig in full. Things made convenient for the roommate. The room OP lived in clean and the common areas he used, bathroom and Kitchen. Maybe cleaning up roommates area but if he is a slob, might leave it that way for APS tob see.