Mom is 81 addicted to meds & threatened to kill herself, I called police & had her baker acted. Somehow my Dad got her out and released to rehabilitation since she was unable to walk. She cried and threatened to check herself out so my Dad got her released. She screamed at the CNA's, nurses & PT's. She is home now & I moved in. He told me I could handle her meds, but is giving her more than the Dr. ordered. I think she has Dementia but can't get any answers or assessments. My Dad has terminal liver cancer and he will die and leave me with this mess. Help!
What happens to mom if your own health fails? There has to be some plans made, as difficult as it may seem.
I have 2 close relatives that have been on Xanax probably 15 years or more. It is impossible to overdose on, so I would let her have her Xanax. (You will be lucky if you don't need it, yourself.) You have said that you can't leave, so I won't say any more about that.
Yes, Mom is probably worried about what will happen to her when Dad dies. And that is probably true on many levels, not just about being catered to. As Jessie says, losing a spouse is a very difficult thing to go through.
My mother was taking too much medication during this time. To watch my mother and father, you would think they didn't think much of each other, even after being married over 60 years. It wasn't until later that I understood how hard it was for my mother to watch my father dying and not be able to stop it. Intellectually I knew this, but it didn't really sink in until later.
I wonder if your mother is going through something similar, watching your father die. It might explain why she needs the medications so badly at the moment. It is helping her cope with the realities of loss. When a person is losing a long-term spouse, there is much fear, dread, and anticipatory grief. If you think that may be part of it, please be compassionate with your mother. Losing a long-term spouse can be like having a hole pulled out of you that nothing can fill. I wish they had an instant cure for grief, but I know it is something that we all have to live through.
Are there other criteria to know if a Baker Act is appropriate?
Yes, there is an additional criterion for a voluntary and involuntary Baker Act not included here. For example, a law enforcement officer may transport an individual to a facility for evaluation if there is reason to believe that the individual's behavior meets statutory guidelines for involuntary examination.
What is the Baker Act?
Getting a handle on the medications was a major battle. When I tried to take control, there were threats of having me removed by police and a couple of instances where she tried to hit me. It took over 2 years for her to accept any help at all from me. When she finally accepted help, I tried to do it in a way that made her still feel like she had some control. I would put the number of Ativan she was allowed in one day in a bottle on the mantel. She could take them as needed. I put her other medications in individual doses in a bottle on her table. I had to (and still have to) do this twice a day. This arrangement works for her, because I am not lording it over her. I do check to make sure she's taken her pills.
We have the number of pills down now. The Metformin was eliminated with no affect at all on her -- I wish I had known that 4 years ago! Her Ativan use has gone down to usually two 0.5mg tablets a day. Her pain reliever is down to 2-4 a day. And she doesn't ask for any extra blood pressure pills now.
If your mother is afraid of losing control of her medications, something like this may work with her. She will likely fight you until there is some crisis. For my mother it was taking a double-dose of Aricept. The doctor had prescribed too high a dose (10 mg) to begin with. When she double-dosed, the result was terrible. It took her a few days to recover and she realized she needed help. I was more than glad to help her when she was ready. Now she usually realizes that I am working with her, instead of against her. However, we got into it again last week about laxatives. I had to get rather firm with her about them. (That was a 2-week long stress episode that finally resulted in me showing temper. I try not to do that, but it was the right response in this instance.)
Has Dad been getting the prescriptions under his own name? Is he paying cash instead of using insurance? I am trying to understand how she is getting so much.
What was her behavior like that enabled you to use the Baker act?
sorry to hear your dads diagnosis, mimix. i wouldnt worry about your moms self medicating too much. many elders who lose or are losing a spouse are prescribed zan bars to kill the emotional pain. a blue bar will put your face in the dirt. they gave them to my mom when my dad died. she lost track of the next 6 months of her life - just like the doctor intended..
If you are managing the drug, you can make sure she doesn't get too much. You may even be able to cut her back some over time. Is there a reason that she is talking about suicide? Please tell us a bit more.