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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My husband is also a hoarder and has been most of his life but it seems to be getting worse. We have lived in the same house for over 30yrs so he is running out of room since he never throws anything away......I do watch the TV show and have come to the conclusion that it is a mental problem and I don't know either what to do about it??? I am always throwing things away when he isn't looking...my house isn't that bad except his office and some things scattered around but he also has junk all over the yard and in the garage......OH, he also has two yards that he rents for cars & car crap!! He is 71 and his family lives into their 90's. My biggest fear is that when he dies I will have to clean up his mess and it's going to be a huge job since he does have a lot of valuable stuff I can't just throw away....Sorry I am no help to you but I am interested in what others have to say... Good Luck,.....
My aunt is currently in a nursing home and still hoards what she has available to her. When she is out of room when I come to visit, I try to throw paper items out that hopefully she won't miss. When I had to go through her house it was like the "Hoarders" show and I did it all myself because I didn't want the neighbors or relatives talking about her. It was hard emotionally, but now I know that it's just a symptom of something deeper. My husband is a mini-hoarder and it drives me crazy, but he is so good to me and is a good person. I try to not let it bother me. :)
Hi there, my mom was a hoarder and THEN she had dementia. Double Whammy. I actually learned from the Hoarders: Buried Alive and the other, can't remember the name. They have a hard core emotional attachment to stuff we see as junk. Slow and easy does it. I had to clean out a total of 15 THOUSAND sq ft (mom had a big old building as well as a big house) packed full of mostly junk stuff with some treasure buried inside of that. I'm still not right. good luck and just a little at a time for both your sakes. Mom used to say this and at the time it would drive me nuts: inch by inch, it's a cinch. but it's true. aside from offering to show up with a front loader, this is the best I can do. lovbob
I agree with greatat61. she didn't mean anything negative, and we all get a little sensitive over our responsibilities.:) My mother was a hoarder, too. I am the opposite. Maybe that's why Im the one taking care of her--balances things out. All those things don't mean anything to her anymore! It bugged me growing up--all that clutter gave me a headache. But now, the history and stories, and memories bought back by finding all that stuff! I'm in charge of it all. I use discretion, give things to cousins that were from their parents, toss inconsequential junk--some of it is, and we know it! Lots of cool jewelry, vintage clothes, handbags, etc.--IF you like that sort of thing! LOL There are many ways to look at things, friends. My Mother's generation went through the Depression--they learned to value things differently and hang onto items that "might come in handy". With some, it becomes an obsession, and then out of control. None of us are totally in control of all behaviors:) Sometimes you can say, "it is what it is", other times, do something about it. HUGS to you all:)))
to dimc40, I'm sorry if I offended you, it was not meant that way, but the referral to the tv program meant to show how others have the same hoarding problem and are helped to deal with it. I don't remember the original question saying her Mom had dementia. My Father has dememtia and is on his last breath in a nursing home and I took care of him for several years. My Mother was a hoarder and saved a lot of the same things your Mother did. She was also blind. I also took care of her too. She saved everything. When she went to assisted living and the kids had to empty out the big house, It was a sad act of love, and a lot of work, but some parts of it were fun to see all their old things. We felt it would have been better if Mom slowly let some stuff go. She knew she couldn't take it to Assisted Living and somewhat accepted that fact. Taking care of our elderly parents is tough and very stressful but it is all done with love, respect, and concern for their well being. I hope that with your guidance and love, you can help your Mom with her hoarding. I've done lots of research on dementia and the most profound thing I learned that gently holding their hand and looking in their eyes is a great comfort to them and improves their response.
The best advice I was ever given for hoarding behavior is to 'group' items together that are the same thing. Hoarding is a very complex situation and not easily resolved. I am finding it helpful to give items away to people that I know that need these things and to stop bringing more stuff into the house.
OMG! My Mom and I are old movie buffs as well!! No throwing away there. Posters, magazines from long ago. That's what keeps us grounded. "Dark Victory " Bette Davis, is fantastic! I think your are great!
My mom lives with me 2 years. She has a condo that i have been trying to sell. She hoarded alot. Stupid things like the trays that meat come on, washed and clean. Cool whip containers, nails, screws that she would find. Tin foil that could be used again. (not really). She had her first drivers license, car registrations, titles etc. Boxes of papers from the 2 companies she owed in 1977! I know my mom grew up with nothing. So i can see where the saving things comes in to play. Mom and i together used to collect old movie memoribilia. I have a shed full of old movies magazines, posters, autographes, dolls......but at least i can turn it into money. I was just a shame to see the things my mom was saving. She could buy things, leave them in the box and never use it. Needless to say I gave away lot of things. I also donated clothes to the poor. Patti my blessing to you. My mom is 84. horrible to see her fall apart. Greatat61, yes your are insincere. the show Hoarders are ppl that have a problem with saving things and need help. my mom as dementia.
My Mom is also a hoarder. Has been for years. Her house is clean because I keep it that way, but things are really piling up on the porch and both front and back decks. She will keep anything from old boxes that mail has been delivered in to bows from Christmas 20 years ago. My sister who lives close by but does not see eye to eye with my Mom had a great suggestion. My Mom is 82 and does not leave her home ever. Except to doctors appointments and the hospital. So, while she is out of the house my sister and myself clear out most of the things that I know she will not be looking for. That means things that are on the deck or things I know she will not especially miss. It's deceptive I know but very doable. Her house is looking so much better. All her other things that I know she covets, I make sure are in proper containers, plastic see through boxes, etc. Things I know are trash are trashed by me. I am her only caregiver, and love my responsibility but enough is enough. I don't want anyone to ever complain about her saving things, I love her. If she ever becomes suspicious about anything I try to take her mind off of it by offering a foot massage or make her favorite meal. She is by no means gullible, one of the smartest members of the family and very important to us all, but where there is a will there is a way. Good Luck to you. Am looking forward to knowing how you deal with this, cause I know you will succeed! Love, Patti
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good Luck,.....
my mom was a hoarder and THEN she had dementia.
Double Whammy.
I actually learned from the Hoarders: Buried Alive and the other, can't remember the name.
They have a hard core emotional attachment to stuff we see as junk.
Slow and easy does it.
I had to clean out a total of 15 THOUSAND sq ft (mom had a big old building as well as a big house) packed full of mostly junk stuff with some treasure buried inside of that.
I'm still not right.
good luck and just a little at a time for both your sakes.
Mom used to say this and at the time it would drive me nuts:
inch by inch, it's a cinch.
but it's true.
aside from offering to show up with a front loader, this is the best I can do.
lovbob
If you've tried just about everything (therapy, counseling, the works), then call the Salvation Army. They're definitely going to love you.
My mother was a hoarder, too. I am the opposite. Maybe that's why Im the one taking care of her--balances things out. All those things don't mean anything to her anymore! It bugged me growing up--all that clutter gave me a headache. But now, the history and stories, and memories bought back by finding all that stuff! I'm in charge of it all. I use discretion, give things to cousins that were from their parents, toss inconsequential junk--some of it is, and we know it! Lots of cool jewelry, vintage clothes, handbags, etc.--IF you like that sort of thing! LOL
There are many ways to look at things, friends. My Mother's generation went through the Depression--they learned to value things differently and hang onto items that "might come in handy". With some, it becomes an obsession, and then out of control. None of us are totally in control of all behaviors:) Sometimes you can say, "it is what it is", other times, do something about it.
HUGS to you all:)))
Taking care of our elderly parents is tough and very stressful but it is all done with love, respect, and concern for their well being.
I hope that with your guidance and love, you can help your Mom with her hoarding. I've done lots of research on dementia and the most profound thing I learned that gently holding their hand and looking in their eyes is a great comfort to them and improves their response.
I know my mom grew up with nothing. So i can see where the saving things comes in to play.
Mom and i together used to collect old movie memoribilia. I have a shed full of old movies magazines, posters, autographes, dolls......but at least i can turn it into money.
I was just a shame to see the things my mom was saving. She could buy things, leave them in the box and never use it. Needless to say I gave away lot of things. I also donated clothes to the poor.
Patti my blessing to you. My mom is 84. horrible to see her fall apart.
Greatat61, yes your are insincere. the show Hoarders are ppl that have a problem with saving things and need help. my mom as dementia.