Not sure if anyone can advise me, I feel I need legal advice but due to the nature I am not entitled to legal aid. My mother came to live with me and my boys in 2020 she is now 92 and last year was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It has been the toughest year almost to the point I am mentally broken. She could always be very mean and critical prior to the diagnosis. In November she went into hospital and that is when I had to make the decision that caring for her was making me ill and she would have to go into care. Mum was furious as she refuses to go into care. She called her granddaughter and said I have nowhere to live. I do not talk to the granddaughter, so she agreed to take her grandmother in. I was called by social services to say Yr mother has made allegations of theft against you and an investigation will be dealt with by the relevant team. I no she was telling ppl I stole her money prior to going into hospital and I kept telling her I haven't stolen your money. She has a lot of friends who I didn't tell them mum has Alzheimer’s as she went mad and shouted, I don't have Alzheimer’s. I didn't want them to start distancing themselves from her, so I didn't tell them. But to try and keep her happy I have made life very miserable for myself. I am one of 4 children but none of them wanted to help. Now mum has accused me of stealing they all had my back encouraging me to put her in a care home now they have all turned against me because they believe my mother. I unfortunately did not take out an LPA because I was in denial I didn't want the diagnosis to be true. And I never saw my mother as doing something so cruel as reporting me for theft. The DWP made me appointee for mums’ pension once I reported her diagnosis. Now mum is making so much trouble for me I cannot afford legal services. I gave up work to look after my mother but while she was in hospital she played them so well that they do not believe mum has Alzheimer’s. I am not worried about that as I have the medical report, the hospital could not see the report as she was out of the borough. I told all the doctors in the hospital mum has Alzheimer’s, but she told social services she is not going into a home as she makes her own decisions. Now my family are encouraging her to get me in trouble for accessing her money when she gave me control of her finances. My mother does not understand how to use ATMs she has limited mobility and cannot fend for herself, but she is aware that her stupid son and his wife plus grandchildren are trying to get me in trouble. I do not know what to do. Please anyone reading this do not make the same mistake I did, get an LPA as soon as Yr family member gets diagnosis, especially if you must take control of their finances. I don’t want this to get out of hand, but I am concerned when I thought my siblings had my back and then they do a complete 360 and now they are helping mum to take legal action. They have never helped me with her even though I reached out. Please help me she is sending me insane, but they said sorry going on holiday, sorry not feeling well. Sorry she can't live here, but Yr. not sorry when she says I've stolen her money you now want to no her... omg someone pls help me!
Now that her money is likely all gone she may need the help of government services and Medicaid, and if it cannot be proven by lookback on her records and accounts that her money was legitimately paid for her care THAT WILL BE A PROBLEM for her. You have a lot of excuses for why things were not correctly done, and your post DOES warn others that this cannot be. While "ignorance of the law is no excuse before the law" the fact is that this is very unlikely to end up in jail time for you.
Apparently, the carer for mom has now encouraged her to make allegations. You may need proof from her doctors to say that she had and has dementia, and that they discussed her dementia with you; they can be called as witnesses before the court. And in fact their names should have been given to the Social Workers who contacted you.
You say that you can't afford an attorney. That's fine. Get on with your life and sit tight. If you are called into court this would likely be a criminal case. You will tell the court that you cannot afford an attorney. Gather all your records and all your proof now so as to be ready. And give that to your appointed attorney.
Be ready to tell the truth under oath as to what happened.
If you didn't know to keep records then you didn't know. You cannot say much other than that, and that you're sorry.
This action is likely taken so she can enter care without accusations of having gifted. She needs proof she lived with you and how her monies were spent on her for her care, because currently she doesn't have records to prove that. The government does a 5 year lookback on how we spent our money. If she says "Hey, wasn't me, but my DAUGHTER who spent it?" Big whoops.
Not really much else you can do but wait and see. Try not to traumatize yourself daily. This may never happen, this may go on forever, and in fact she may be dead before it gets ANYWHERE. You can't know, so don't die a thousand cut death before it does. And when/if it does ask for a "court appointed attorney".