Has anyone cut all contact with aging parents? My 93 year old mom has diagnosed borderline personality disorder & my father has always catered to her crazy behavior. I’ve been the scapegoat kid & my 62 year old brother the golden child. In life, it’s been the opposite. Have done better educationally & financially.
Have been with my parents 2 days a week to help with shopping & dr’s visits. It was 4 days a week for 3 years due to various serious health issues. They are better for now & can manage fairly well. I also cut back because my mom was impossible to be with. Her verbal abuse is horrible.
My home is 40 miles away & my brother 10 miles. He makes every excuse not to help. He has the summer off as a teacher. My mom is fine with his excuses. He stops by for Sunday dinner 2 hrs a week. Mom cooks & he does not even wash his own dishes.
My dad is part owner of some valuable land along with the family of his late brother (two male cousins). I was promised 25% of it all my life once my dad passes.
I am here with my parents now. Last night I found out my brother and cousins have talked my father & mother into cutting me out. My crime? Not being with them full-time, cutting back to 2 days a week & not helping my mom cook Sunday dinner to serve my brother.
Am outraged. I want nothing to do with them anymore. Tired of the double-standard, tired of my brother’s corrosive envy, tired of my mother’s nasty abuse, & tired of my dad’s implicit acceptance of me being crazy mom’s whipping post.
Has anyone simply left never to return? I plan on leaving tomorrow & telling my mom never to call me again.
I feel like a stupid chump for being used & fooled.
You are not a stupid chump - bad people just happen to be very good at hurting others.
Live without the craziness. Your mental health will improve, I promise.
Manipulative parents often use inheritances to manipulate.
AMEN
They can't use you unless you allow yourself to be used
Don't let them bully you over an inheiritance.
I'm guessing you're female and they're just trying to impose old sexist beliefs on you.
When you leave today tell them you are no longer able to continue with the two days a week. It is too much for you and you don't appreciate being treated like unpaid help. The removal from the land shows you how much they value you. Not that this is about inheritance, no one is entitled...but to remove you as punishment for not doing more when you are already doing more than enough is just cold. Walk away and have a good life.
It’s not gutless, but smart. Am not out to burn bridges, but current situation is unbearable. He knows the truth; no need for me to repeat it.
A large burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t plan to return for a long time.
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