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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Take her out of the home while you make your adjustments. It is useless to try to explain your actions. If she is gone a few days she may not remember when you bring her back.
You can't make a person with dementia understand anything. And this one is 99 and set in her ways.
Please find a memory care facility for her. She will have socialization, three meals a day, and aides to cater to her every need. It will be their responsibility to make her safer, and she'll have to argue with them instead of you. They won't put up with much, I can assure you. They know manipulation and they know how to shut it down calmly and effectively.
Then you can visit and bring bonbons and enjoy your mom for whatever time she has left on this earth. Wouldn't that be better than what you are doing now?
99 with dementia, she needs 24/7 care and probably it’s time for a care home. The fact that she is so contrary should tell you she is not capable of remaining in her environment. It’s not safe.
1) keep them as calm and peaceful as possible (because they are less and less able to bring themselves to this state on their own)
2) keep them physically protected in their environment and from predatory people
3) keep them nourished with healthy foods that they will accept without fighting or forcing
4) keep them in as good a health condition as is possible, that their financial resources will allow and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive)
5) keep them pain-free as possible and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive)
The caregiving arrangement needs to accommodate the caregiver. If it is onerous to the caregiver, then the arrangement is NOT working. Alternative types of care must be considered to avoid caregiver burnout.
In another post you say your mother is 99 with dementia. That said, you cannot make her understand anything as her brain is no longer capable of doing so. She'll likely argue every word you say, and every action you take, because that's what folks with dementia do. My mother certainly did.
At her age and with dementia at play, safety is of no concern to her, nor is she aware she's not acting in a safe manner. She requires 24/7 care either in her home or in managed care. And even then she will fall. My mother took 95 falls while she lived in AL and Memory Care Assisted Living from 2015 to 2022, despite tons of precautions taken. She was never seriously hurt either, miraculously, and passed of advanced dementia and CHF at 95.
Falls in the elderly cannot be prevented. Mom forgot she couldn't walk and kept getti g up from her wheelchair TO walk, which caused a great number of falls.
In another post you say your mother is 99 with dementia. That said, you cannot make her understand anything as her brain is no longer capable of doing so. She'll likely argue every word you say, and every action you take, because that's what folks with dementia do. My mother certainly did.
At her age and with dementia at play, safety is of no concern to her, nor is she aware she's not acting in a safe manner. She requires 24/7 care either in her home or in managed care. And even then she will fall. My mother took 95 falls while she lived in AL and Memory Care Assisted Living from 2015 to 2022, despite tons of precautions taken. She was never seriously hurt either, miraculously, and passed of advanced dementia and CHF at 95.
Falls in the elderly cannot be prevented. Mom forgot she couldn't walk and kept getti g up from her wheelchair TO walk, which caused a great number of falls.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Please find a memory care facility for her. She will have socialization, three meals a day, and aides to cater to her every need. It will be their responsibility to make her safer, and she'll have to argue with them instead of you. They won't put up with much, I can assure you. They know manipulation and they know how to shut it down calmly and effectively.
Then you can visit and bring bonbons and enjoy your mom for whatever time she has left on this earth. Wouldn't that be better than what you are doing now?
1) Agree, do not argue
2) Divert, do not attempt to reason
3) Distract, do not shame
4) Reassure, do not lecture
5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?”
6) Repeat, do not say “I told you”
7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t”
8) Ask, do not demand
9) Encourage, do not condescend
10) Reinforce, never force
The overall goals should be to:
1) keep them as calm and peaceful as possible (because they are less and less able to bring themselves to this state on their own)
2) keep them physically protected in their environment and from predatory people
3) keep them nourished with healthy foods that they will accept without fighting or forcing
4) keep them in as good a health condition as is possible, that their financial resources will allow and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive)
5) keep them pain-free as possible and within their desires as expressed in a Living Will (aka Advance Healthcare Directive)
The caregiving arrangement needs to accommodate the caregiver. If it is onerous to the caregiver, then the arrangement is NOT working. Alternative types of care must be considered to avoid caregiver burnout.
At her age and with dementia at play, safety is of no concern to her, nor is she aware she's not acting in a safe manner. She requires 24/7 care either in her home or in managed care. And even then she will fall. My mother took 95 falls while she lived in AL and Memory Care Assisted Living from 2015 to 2022, despite tons of precautions taken. She was never seriously hurt either, miraculously, and passed of advanced dementia and CHF at 95.
Falls in the elderly cannot be prevented. Mom forgot she couldn't walk and kept getti g up from her wheelchair TO walk, which caused a great number of falls.
Best of luck to you.
At her age and with dementia at play, safety is of no concern to her, nor is she aware she's not acting in a safe manner. She requires 24/7 care either in her home or in managed care. And even then she will fall. My mother took 95 falls while she lived in AL and Memory Care Assisted Living from 2015 to 2022, despite tons of precautions taken. She was never seriously hurt either, miraculously, and passed of advanced dementia and CHF at 95.
Falls in the elderly cannot be prevented. Mom forgot she couldn't walk and kept getti g up from her wheelchair TO walk, which caused a great number of falls.
Best of luck to you.