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Only you know how much longer you can do this, but it sounds like at least you're able to talk to your husband about having his mom placed in the appropriate facility. And hopefully that will happen sooner than later.
Either that or you tell hubby that he's now going to have to step up and put his mom on the bedpan and then clean her up afterwards, as you can't do it anymore. I'll put money on the fact that after 24 hours he will be looking himself for the quickest place for her to move to ASAP.
You and your husband deserve to have your house to yourself and for it not to smell like poop all the time. That is just nasty.
I wish you well in finding the right facility for your MIL to move to if your hubby doesn't beat you to it after you give up helping with the bedpan and make him do it.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Get her assessed for needing LTC by her physician. LTC, if she also qualifies financially, is covered by Medicaid (plus her SS income).

Pick out a good, reputable, close facility. Have her go in on private pay. Make sure it accepts Medicaid. Then when she is close to running out of money (like 4-6 months) apply for Medicaid.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I myself don't think it is wrong or unrealistic to hope for the deliverance of this poor thing, who has no quality of life and who is requiring her family to be thrown upon her slow burning funeral pyre. I think that you should feel nothing but relief for her when she goes, that you do not have to witness her suffering, and you don't have to bear witness and sacrifice your own life.
You and husband at least have a plan in place. I don't know MIL's level of awareness. It would be very difficult now to move her, but this is a matter of personal survival at times. There should be no reason that you have to go literally crazy with care that's more appropriate for several shifts of several people each. You aren't a Saint. It's a bad job description, anyway, as I always so.
Again, only YOU can make this decision for yourself. I could no more have done it for one year than the man in the moon. I don't understand how you can continue . But I am not you. I wish you the very best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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