I am not yet a full on care giver - but would like to be able to chat with other ppl to see what they are experiencing or have experienced with aging parents ... like when to be concerned about forgetfulness... or spending issues or just concerns ( in general ) ... my mother for the most part is constantly over drawn or just plain doesn't have any money due to the fact she literally CANNOT budget her money ... and yes I have offered to help with budgeting - but NO ... she does not want any help ... And I also feel like just being able to talk to other ppl will keep me from going insane!
Like waytomisery advised, your parents needs to have an assigned PoA, a Advance Healthcare DIrective, Pre-need Guardian chosen, Will, etc.
Be flexible so that if you ever come to the point where caring for your parents is burning you out, you will need to have a back-up plan, like a facility or willingness to pay in-home caregivers.
You do not have to be your parents' care solution. Many well-meaning and loving adult children have taken it on without really researching like you are doing here and wind up completely wrecked.
Also, when to be concern about forgetfulness is now. Based upon what you describe of your Mom, she may already be in moderate dementia/memory impairment.
First get the PoA thing figured out by consulting with a certified elder law attorney, then take Mom in for a full physical and cognitive/memory test. I wish you success on this road with your parents.
Here you are.
One at a time bring us an issue and we will do our best.
But remember first to give us all the information you can. Age, Diagnosis, who mom lives with--you? Or you with her? How is her mobility. What does she do on a daily basis. What are your expectations for the future? In home care? Placement?
What are the problems one at a time you are dealing with.
And read here. Read and read and read. Go back and back in the timelines. Use the search bar up top for questions. Type in whatever subject you want to look at and it will give past questions.
Again, welcome. Search your own area for "Elder Care Support groups" as the best are the ones you meet at. If not, try to start one at your library or your faith based community. Visit senior centers. Think about safety and mobility issues.
We all came here when caregiving a loved one and many still ARE giving care.
Again, welcome.
My husband and I are dealing with yet another elderly parent who does not have her ducks in a row , who is now immobile . Get your parents to a lawyer to have that happen before the possible dementia gets worse , where the lawyer will notice and will not draw up the papers .
After the lawyer , I would say get your Mom to the primary doctor for some cognitive testing if you can , under the excuse that it’s part of a yearly Medicare requirement . Give the doctor a heads up before hand of what’s going on . Good Luck , our parents refused neurologist .
Stubborn elders may not accept help , especially with dementia . It’s a rough road for the family .