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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Money is gone but am willing to assist with her expenses as long as I have POA. She declined. Is getting help via social worker and attorney via APS. Any advice?
Cooperate with the lawyer and APS in their investigation.
Assisting her with expenses is a recipe for disaster. Your motherresources should pay for her care, not you.
In accepting that money without setting up a caregiver contract and legal help, you have exposed yourself to any accusation your mother cares to make and disqualified her from Medicaid assistance for long term care.
That money looks like a gift.
If she has dementia, it's possible she is no longer competent enough to grant POA.
If you have any receipts, emails, letters that mom sent, find them and present them when you talk to APS.
Did you spend the money on her needs? Does she have reason to think you took the money and used it for yourself? Does she have a dementia diagnosis? The disease can make people paranoid, so if she has that diagnosis, make sure that her assistants know it. If I were you, I might want to be out of her life, which is what she wants also, she says. Who does she think will take care of her if you're gone? I'm very sorry you're having to deal with this.
I so hope you have kept records of where that 75k went. Since your last post says she is in an AL, then most of the 75k went for her staying there. You mention nothing about maybe Dementia being involved. If so, this is part of the problem. As long as you can show where the money went, you will not need to pay her back.
Being POA does not obligate you to spend any of your money on her care. When her money is gone, then other options need to be looked at. Some states will pay for AL if the person has paid privately for at least two years?
Do not wait till Mom has run out of money to file for Medicaid. If SHE can't afford an AL then you will need to find a nice Longterm Care facility that takes Medicaid. If this is an option, I would look into it while she has money. My Mom was in an AL and had 20k left. I took that 20k and placed her in LTC and paid privately for 2 months. That got her in the door. That gave me time to apply for Medicaid, spend her down and get Medicaid the info needed. The third month Medicaid started paying.
If Mom does not have Dementia, you need to explain to her that if you are not in her life as POA and there is no one to take over her POA, the State will take over her care. A Guardian will be assigned to her and that person will make decisions for her. The next place she goes will be picked by the Guardian and you, as her child, may have no say in where that will be.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Assisting her with expenses is a recipe for disaster. Your motherresources should pay for her care, not you.
In accepting that money without setting up a caregiver contract and legal help, you have exposed yourself to any accusation your mother cares to make and disqualified her from Medicaid assistance for long term care.
That money looks like a gift.
If she has dementia, it's possible she is no longer competent enough to grant POA.
If you have any receipts, emails, letters that mom sent, find them and present them when you talk to APS.
Don't be defensive.
I so hope you have kept records of where that 75k went. Since your last post says she is in an AL, then most of the 75k went for her staying there. You mention nothing about maybe Dementia being involved. If so, this is part of the problem. As long as you can show where the money went, you will not need to pay her back.
Being POA does not obligate you to spend any of your money on her care. When her money is gone, then other options need to be looked at. Some states will pay for AL if the person has paid privately for at least two years?
Do not wait till Mom has run out of money to file for Medicaid. If SHE can't afford an AL then you will need to find a nice Longterm Care facility that takes Medicaid. If this is an option, I would look into it while she has money. My Mom was in an AL and had 20k left. I took that 20k and placed her in LTC and paid privately for 2 months. That got her in the door. That gave me time to apply for Medicaid, spend her down and get Medicaid the info needed. The third month Medicaid started paying.
If Mom does not have Dementia, you need to explain to her that if you are not in her life as POA and there is no one to take over her POA, the State will take over her care. A Guardian will be assigned to her and that person will make decisions for her. The next place she goes will be picked by the Guardian and you, as her child, may have no say in where that will be.