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She will never walk again because of her refusal to do PT. She won't let them place her in wheelchair. Shes laying in bed stiff as a board . Shes angry and yells at staff trying to change her brief or bathe her. She isn't in pain she says except when being moved . Staff have tried giving pain meds before cares but she still fights them. She's terrified of falling . She's on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds to no avail. She's talking with a psychological therapist about her life changes etc. Nothing is helping. I don't even want to visit her anymore . It's too depressing and aggravating to see her act like this. She's always been social so this is a complete 180. I'm at a loss what else can be done . I've tried everything to motivate her and let her be in control of her destiny . I guess I'm just needing to voice my frustration since she's decided to give up. She's getting bed sores too because of refusing to be turned.

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@kalamazootx1 She will get comfort care to treat her symptoms (pain and anxiety) and no one will force her to do PT or anything painful. They will stop trying to *fix* and give her what she wants.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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We self referred to hospice. I called hospice when Mom became permanently bedbound. A hospice RN came out to evaluate Mom. It was no big deal.

Mom was in hospice for 18 months.

Call hospice and they will someone out to evaluate your mother.
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Reply to brandee
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Kalamazootx1 Apr 11, 2025
What are specific advantages to hospice vs skilled nursing care at nursing home ?will she still get PT ?
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Talk to hospice and find out what they offer for mom. I know a number of people in hospice care who have it because of their steady decline. No one knows when they’ll die, so the six-month rule isn’t always applied. My mom was in and out of hospice care for 2.5 years.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Mom is tired of living . As is common in elders , her previous fall was the beginning of this 180 life change . Not all are able to physically or mentally recover . Her decline will
continue . She is no longer in control of her own destiny . She needs you to be understanding of the losses she is experiencing . Stop trying to motivate her . It aggravates you and her . Her quality of life especially with contractures and bedsores is dismal . Keep Mom comfortable as her condition deteriorates.
Your previous posts mention some dementia as well . This made it more difficult for Mom to attempt to recover .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Your mom should now be on hospice care. The bedsores and resulting sepsis from them, from orthostatic pneumonias, etc will result now in a cycle of endless suffering. Please speak with the MD about prognosis, diagnosis, and hospice as well as a try at any anti-depressants that he believes might work.
To make this kind of decision (on your mom's part) means that her mind is not fully functioning. Her quality of life is now and will almost certainly remain very poor. She needs the relief of final resting to end what is now simply daily torment.

Go for comfort care as soon as possible. I am so very sorry. If only we were allowed to take our final exit when we are finished with life. But alas, we are not. So comfort is your goal. You are standing witness to awful devastation of mind, body and spirit. It doesn't get more tough.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Kalamazootx1 Apr 2, 2025
As I understand it a dr has to certify she has 6 months or less to live to receive hospice care . Im not sure she's at that point yet
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