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And does not want to be alone at any time so I’m staying many nights with her. I’ve been paying for someone to be there when I im not there. I’m married and not home much anymore. I found ìoher Will and she’s leaving everything to my brother and his wife. My name is nowhere on her will. I was shocked. Mom has never liked me much. I have done so much for her in my life. I’m not sure how to handle this. He has plenty of Money

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Reply to Slartibartfast
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Go home. Stop letting her take advantage of you.
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Reply to lkdrymom
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You handle it by walking away. Stop wasting your time and money on someone who has no concern and appreciation for you. Go back to your husband who does appreciate you. Call, email, or text your brother and say, "Mom put you on all her accounts and is leaving everything to you, so I'm out. You can handle paying for her care and all the other details." Then turn to your mom and say, "[Brother] is going to handle your care and finances now, as you set up, so please communicate all needs directly to him." Then leave and renew your happiness with your husband and others who treat you well, as you deserve. It's unfortunate that your mother is not capable of caring but that's not your fault, so don't keep trying to change her in order to earn something she isn't capable of giving.
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Reply to MG8522
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Well lucky for you, your mom is now your brothers issue and not yours. I can only imagine how freeing that must feel.
You can now get back to your own home and your marriage.
And DO NOT spend one more penny on this woman, as your brother will have to step up now or your mom will have to figure things out on her own.
If her health is that bad she will have to move into an assisted living facility, where she will have 24/7 care.
So you handle it by walking away TODAY and letting your brother and mom figure out the next steps. And don't look back. You've been used enough. Time to get on with living and enjoying your life with people that truly love you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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So no good deed goes unpunished?
Strange how that often works. And yet the child who is neglected and abused will keep hoping for those three words "I love you" added to 5 more "You are a good daughter".

How about mom just hires someone from now on and you get on with life, allow brother and mom to do the same. Visit her once in a while briefly. Stop being her door mat. For myself that would work. "Hi Mom, how ya doing? Bye Mom." Supply her with phone numbers for emergency.

I would, to be honest, be frank with brother. I would tell him, "You know, I suspected mother never game a darn about me. Found her will when I was straightening things up and decided to confirm that fact. She doesn't. She's leaving you everything. I feel I owe her nothing at this point. Quite honestly, not even respect."

Then DO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. You are a grownup. It is time to leave hope of the good "mommy behind". You didn't get lucky. You didn't have one. You don't now. You never will. I am so sorry. I am so very sorry, but this happens in life. People are flawed and full of limitations.

I wish you the best. Two chances in life at family. The one you are born into and the one you Make. Make a wonderful family and enjoy their love.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Walk away and let the brother take care of her .
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Reply to KNance72
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There’s an expression, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them”. I can’t tell you whether this is from misogyny, jealousy, or what, but you say she’s never liked you. Now you have seen by her will that this is true. You cannot get the hours you’ve spent on her back but you can reclaim your future.

No more nights, and no one should pay for a parents elder care because it robs you of money you’ll need for your own care. I’m sorry that you have gotten this confirmation that she does not value or respect you. I hope you take this as notice that it’s time to prioritize yourself and your marriage.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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