And does not want to be alone at any time so I’m staying many nights with her. I’ve been paying for someone to be there when I im not there. I’m married and not home much anymore. I found ìoher Will and she’s leaving everything to my brother and his wife. My name is nowhere on her will. I was shocked. Mom has never liked me much. I have done so much for her in my life. I’m not sure how to handle this. He has plenty of Money
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/i-recently-started-day-to-day-assistance-for-mother-brother-lives-in-another-state-hes-financially-w-491460.htm?orderby=oldest
You can now get back to your own home and your marriage.
And DO NOT spend one more penny on this woman, as your brother will have to step up now or your mom will have to figure things out on her own.
If her health is that bad she will have to move into an assisted living facility, where she will have 24/7 care.
So you handle it by walking away TODAY and letting your brother and mom figure out the next steps. And don't look back. You've been used enough. Time to get on with living and enjoying your life with people that truly love you.
Strange how that often works. And yet the child who is neglected and abused will keep hoping for those three words "I love you" added to 5 more "You are a good daughter".
How about mom just hires someone from now on and you get on with life, allow brother and mom to do the same. Visit her once in a while briefly. Stop being her door mat. For myself that would work. "Hi Mom, how ya doing? Bye Mom." Supply her with phone numbers for emergency.
I would, to be honest, be frank with brother. I would tell him, "You know, I suspected mother never game a darn about me. Found her will when I was straightening things up and decided to confirm that fact. She doesn't. She's leaving you everything. I feel I owe her nothing at this point. Quite honestly, not even respect."
Then DO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. You are a grownup. It is time to leave hope of the good "mommy behind". You didn't get lucky. You didn't have one. You don't now. You never will. I am so sorry. I am so very sorry, but this happens in life. People are flawed and full of limitations.
I wish you the best. Two chances in life at family. The one you are born into and the one you Make. Make a wonderful family and enjoy their love.
No more nights, and no one should pay for a parents elder care because it robs you of money you’ll need for your own care. I’m sorry that you have gotten this confirmation that she does not value or respect you. I hope you take this as notice that it’s time to prioritize yourself and your marriage.