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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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He’s not incontinent just feels he needs to pee and/or hasn’t wiped enough. Using 1-2 rolls of toilet paper everyday. I try telling him he doesn’t need to go but he gets angry and insists he does.
Try getting a bidet attachment to the toilet so he will be clean. Most older men have an enlarged prostate. Ask for a referral to a urologist to have this addressed. Medications can help him with the feelings of "urgency" and "frequency."
He may be going frequently out of fear of soiling himself. My loved one would layer multiple pairs of underwear as "protection" against accidents. Since he's able to toilet independently, let him! Tell him "we're out of toilet paper" or ration it by putting a few squares at a time out for his use. Discuss with his doctor; a medication for OCD may be needed. Good luck!
Sounds like he's now exhibiting some OCD behaviors with having to go to the bathroom constantly for one reason or another, and his doctor should be able to prescribe medications to help with those. Or he may have an overactive bladder, which there are medications to help with that as well. And you may have to do what I did for my late husband and that was to throw away all of his old underwear and replace it with his new "underwear" Depends. And just call them his new underwear. When that is his only choice for underwear, he will wear them guaranteed.
We tried that with my dad — threw out all his regular underwear (which he was not changing — just wearing the same pair for weeks straight) and replaced with Depends. He didn’t like them and would just go “commando” with nothing under his sweatpants. My mom had to refuse to put on a movie or serve him food (which he hardly ever ate anyway) unless he could show her he had the Depends on under the sweatpants. Sad. He also took to going naked from the waist down — while wearing a parka over his shirt inside the house — and once answered the front door that way. Really sad.
I think that you are nearing the time where you cannot manage in home care. I would carefully consider options. I think with dementia behavior such as obsession with bowel and bladder there is very little that can be done.
Do discuss with his doc. Ask if he thinks that a low dose antidepressant or low dose medical marijuana might help a bit.
I will chime in and say from my experience with my mother, the 5mg low dose of medical marijuana works very well. She’s more agreeable, giggly sleeps and eats well. She was given Seroquel and had a horrible reaction.
There is a condition, interstitial cystitis, that can cause urinating that many times a day. Often it's referred to as overactive bladder. There are medicines to help this. Sometimes doctors don't know much about this condition, and he may need to see a urologist. Since he has dementia, no telling how successful such a visit might be.
There is an over-the-counter medicine, Azo, that works by anesthetizing the bladder somewhat, but unfortunately it turns the urine red or orange. Those stains never come out of anything! I wouldn't advise it for a dementia patient.
However, the urge to "go" is probably a symptom of your H's broken brain, in which case bladder meds wont work. I'm just mentioning the possibility in case you want to have him checked out for IC.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Or he may have an overactive bladder, which there are medications to help with that as well.
And you may have to do what I did for my late husband and that was to throw away all of his old underwear and replace it with his new "underwear" Depends.
And just call them his new underwear. When that is his only choice for underwear, he will wear them guaranteed.
I would carefully consider options. I think with dementia behavior such as obsession with bowel and bladder there is very little that can be done.
Do discuss with his doc. Ask if he thinks that a low dose antidepressant or low dose medical marijuana might help a bit.
There is an over-the-counter medicine, Azo, that works by anesthetizing the bladder somewhat, but unfortunately it turns the urine red or orange. Those stains never come out of anything! I wouldn't advise it for a dementia patient.
However, the urge to "go" is probably a symptom of your H's broken brain, in which case bladder meds wont work. I'm just mentioning the possibility in case you want to have him checked out for IC.