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Your mother must be rich if she can afford to smoke and throw eggs.

I would stop visiting her if she's throwing eggs at your car. Or call the police and tell them she has dementia and she's a danger to herself and others. They'll contact APS who will get her placed if she's living alone with dementia.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Mom needs to be put in placement for her own good and yours as well.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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She could fall asleep with a cig in her hand and burn down her place, or others. I agree you should report her to APS, or call 911 and tell them she's unhinged and you don't know why. They will take her to the ER where you tell the Discharge Planner that she's an unsafe discharge and request the hospital social worker to discuss putting her on track for a court-assigned legal gaurdian and maybe even transitioned directly into a facility or the psych wing of the hospital until they can figure out if she's got a UTI or needs meds for her aggression.
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Reply to Geaton777
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If she's 88 I would go and buy her cigarettes for her and to be honest encourage her to smoke as much as possible.
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lealonnie1 Feb 21, 2025
No kidding. Now is not the time to get healthy habits instilled in the woman, fgs.
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Oh heck no! Dementia or not that’s nothing you should be putting up with. Call 911 and have her transported to the hospital for evaluation and eventual placement in a safe environment. She’s not safe and cannot continue to get her way
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You shouldn't let this go on. Don't buy her cigarettes, and park around the corner.

Unless she lives with you. In that case, it's time to find her other accommodations. She will never get better, and this could progress to worse.
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Reply to Fawnby
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I am with Burnt here, at 88 she should be able to do what she wants. The Dementia keeps her from understanding why she should not smoke. Her longterm memory tells her she is a smoker. Let her enjoy what she has of the rest of her life.

I worked with a man that had a heart attack when I was working with him. I later worked with the wife and asked how he was doing. She told me he would not stop smoking. She had been on him all the time about it. Finally she told him she was not saying anything anymore. She loved him but it was his life.
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BurntCaregiver Feb 21, 2025
@JoAnn

It's a fine line between letting a person live their life as they want and enabling them to destroy themselves.

The OP's mother wants to smoke, she can. This does not mean that the OP has to help her in any way to do so. She does not have to get her cigarettes or make sure she's being safely supervised while smoking.

My ex-husband was an alcoholic. He was a wonderful man. A hard worker, generous, kind, and would help anyone. He died of alcoholism. I respect that it was his life and he could do what he wanted. I wasn't willing to be an enabler though, and the OP shouldn't either.

Her mother wants to smoke, go right ahead. Don't help her with it.

When the asinine nonsense and the throwing eggs at the car join the party, that's when it's time to move the party to memory care. No memory care allows smoking.
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Long ago story. Great uncle of mine looooveed some wine (okay more than just some). At age 90 he was hospitalized for various maladies. My cousin asked if he should stop drinking. The doctor was aghast: "No that will probably kill him." Buy her the smokes, just make sure she doesn't leave them lit where they can start a fire. It's not like she is cutting years from her life.
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Reply to Tynagh
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Geaton777 Feb 22, 2025
and how would anybody "make sure she doesn't leave them lit where they can start a fire" without actually living with this woman?

The problem needs to be solved by getting her permanently into a facility for everyone's good.
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Stop buying the cigarettes. Call APS and report a person for self-neglect. Time for mom to go to memory care.

Eggs are now $13.00 dollars for a dozen and these prices will continue to climb.

I have to hand it to these seniors, they get better with age.

Good heavens!
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Reply to Scampie1
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BurntCaregiver Feb 20, 2025
@Scampie

Where are eggs $13 a dozen? I'm in Connecticut and paying around $5 a dozen.
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As soon as the egg was tossed, you should have called 911 for a social admit.
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BurntCaregiver Feb 25, 2025
Here's the right answer right here ^^^^^
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