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My husband scored 20 out of 30 in the test that his OT gave him. This supposedly means he has mild dementia.

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That doesn't sound mild to me.
Please ask him what test he administered. Most common of the 30 questions type is SLUMS or MoCa. Look those tests up on youtube and you will actually see a woman there who goes through the questions on both. They are the simple ones you hear about all the time. They are the ones with the drawing a clock and setting it for a certain time, the three animals, the "remember these words and repeat them back", the "spell Forum backwards" type things. They are very easy for the average person to do and missing one third of them indicates more than mild dementia to me.

What further followup is planned. It is important that hubby now sees a neuro-psychiatric specialist. There are many types of dementia and they manifest in many different ways and you need as good, as professional, as solid a diagnosis as you can now get.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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IMHO "Spotting" mild dementia symptoms in a spouse is not easy. In our case I mistakenly interpreted many symptoms as my husband being stubborn. He was doing things that caused me to easily lose my patience with him. Hindsight has definitely been better than realizing it up front, especially since his behavior was not always consistent. He often responded appropriately then on other days he did not seem to comprehend many things that I thought he should. It sounds like you may be trying to come to grips with what you have been told while looking for the reality of what you have been told... which is how I felt in the beginning.

I have found a geriatrician to be the best primary care provider to monitor my husband's progression. It may be too early but at some point you may want to consider an evaluation by a neuro-psychologist who can do a thorough evaluation and give insights to the possible type of dementia he may have if indeed he does.

I saw your comment about how his hearing may have affected his testing. On one of my husband's tests, he drew a clock that was hardly recognizable and I knew he could do better and it unnerved me that he had gone down so fast. Turned out, neither of us realized until later that he was doing it without his reading glasses! The next time when we expected he would be given the test, we made sure he had the glasses with him... amazingly he did a much better job! So consider that test purely as a screening test and not a definitive diagnosis until he is examined by someone with more experience. In the meantime I suggest you make mental notes of things he does that have begun to annoy you because they may be subtle hints at symptoms. This way you will be more prepared for a discussion at his appointments... and hopefully you can be more patient with him if/when you do become more annoyed.
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Reply to KPWCSC
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As far as symptoms go, it will depend on what kind of dementia your husband has. vascular and Lewy Body dementia are the 2 most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5-7 years, while Alzheimer's being the slowest progressing dementia can go on for 20+ years.
And I can only imagine that you are already spotting your husbands dementia in many different ways, whether it be him misplacing things, forgetting his words, being paranoid or incontinent, falling a lot, no longer being able to read or comprehend the spoken word to just name a few of the many symptoms of dementia.
Time now to educate yourself about this horrific disease, so you will be better prepared for what is to come.
I always recommend the book The 36 Hour Day, and Teepa Snows(a dementia expert)videos on YouTube as a good place to start.
Best wishes as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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The bottom line being both are valuable and you would need to know what test was given to understand what the score meant.
Mild dementia is often described as the phase where the individual has some problems, probably processes slowly, and with routines is able to care for themselves. They may frequently misplace things, have some word finding or memory problems. Probably not noticed by casual acquaintances. It is also called mild cognitive impairment (MCI) and does not always lead to dementia. Studies show that only 10-15% of individuals diagnosed with MCI go on to develop dementia each year.
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Reply to GrandmaKay
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People are so different with how they initially present dementia but very early signs with my mother were:
Slow gait, unsteadiness.
Suspicion, paranoia, fear.
Overwhelmed by bills, paperwork.
Irritability.
Staying up all night, sleeping all day.
Started saying she could hear music.
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SingleChildHelp Feb 23, 2025
My mother is showing similar symptoms and she hasn't been diagnosed yet:
Suspicion, paranoia, and fear are at the top. She is suspicious of everyone around her.

Auditory hallucinations - she thinks she hears the neighbors singing, talking about her, and repeating things she says in her house. I can confirm there are no voices. The auditory hallucinations also fuel her paranoia.

There are nights she will stay up watching YouTube or trying to hear what the neighbors are saying about her.

Lots of irritability and anxiety. Making mountains out of molehills. Creating conflict where none existed.
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Like others have said, I encourage you to find a geriatrician for your husband. I thought a primary care doctor would be just fine for my dad after he was diagnosed with mild dementia. But as my dad's symptoms progressed, the PCP quickly became worthless. Dad would tell him everything is fine, I don't have incontinence, nothing's wrong, etc. Despite me sending notes via MyChart and shaking my head "no" during appointments, the clinician ignored me. It escalated to the point of me filing a complaint and the medical center canceling all of my father's appointments. (Sigh.) With our new geriatrician, it's been like night and day. He listens to and responds to my updates on my father's condition, acting accordingly. If you have an academic medical center near you, see if they have a memory care center that conducts evaluations for dementia. The advice given by others about finding a neurologist is important, too. Sending you good thoughts.
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Reply to marygIndiana
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KPWCSC Feb 23, 2025
Just like as new parents seek out a pediatrician even before their baby arrives, a geriatrician should be sought out as someone begins to age. I think ours only takes patients 65+ but others may take patients a bit younger.

I agree... it has been night and day for us as well, even though we loved our family practitioner... in fact he is the one who recommended it.

Just like an infant has special needs, especially in medication and diagnoses, so do seniors. Infants and Seniors are at the far ends of average and need to be treated accordingly.
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Early signs my husband exhibited were getting loss while driving familiar routes, not being able to fix simple things around the house (he was quite the handyman), losing things, leaving his wallet on an ATM machine. Later he wanted to just sleep all day. Also paranoid thinking someone was looking in our (second story) window.
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caregiver008 Feb 24, 2025
Getting lost. Reading every piece of mail and not being able to decipher junk from real mail. Getting scammed. Strange happenings in home. Containers not being in right places. Example a laundry detergent lid in glasses cabinet in kitchen Things neglected such as plants and pets. Weight loss. Accusing people of taking or hiding things. Late bills. Paranoia. Fear of sleeping at night. I could go on.
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IMO a PCP knows a little about everything and a lot about nothing. They are not experts in Dementia. Neurologists are. You need to know at least what type so proper meds can be given.

My husband too is almost deaf. He too has lost hearing in one ear but does well with a hearing aide in the other. I think only because his hearing loss has been a lifetime thing and he has adjusted. He can read lips to a point. I have noted that his brothers, whose hearing has gone in the last few years, act like they don't hear as well and I don't think their hearing is as bad.
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SingleChildHelp Feb 23, 2025
I agree. Doctors are often placed on a pedestal but they are human and make mistakes like anyone else. Like any other profession you have the best in their field who specialize in certain areas and others who are the equivalent of ambulance chasers. They did what they needed to do to get through medical school and not much else. I had to come to terms that my mom’s PCP meant well but was clueless about geriatric conditions. I figured out my mom has dementia before her doctor who misdiagnosed her with bipolar and schizophrenia in her late 70s! I plan to take my mom to a geriatric physician in several months who should be able to provide more insight and solutions.
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I recommend a Neurologist. They will send your husband for further tests and prescribe medicine to slow down the progression. Unfortunately, there is no cure. Keep an eye on your husband. He may have to stop driving soon.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Inability to pay the bills. Stress when using the computer. Inability to prepare meals.
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