My roommate would come home late at night and not remember how to unlock the door to the apartment. He would bang the door and ring the doorbell so he can get me to answer it. It's really annoying and I can't continue dealing with this. It's causing me a lot of stress. He also appears tired most of the time when his dementia symptoms manifest. Is there a get my roommate unlock the door without help?
If this person ever gets aggressive with you, call 911 to remove him.
Then call the powers that be and tell them you are now afraid for your life. He needs help.
I would call the program again and get someone incharge. Tell that person you have spoken to someone before and nothing has been done. This man needs help. You are not it. You do not want to share a space with someone who has mental problems or Dementia. They need to either change your accomodations or remove this man. If they don't, you will be calling APS because this man needs help.
You say your roommate has Alzheimer's.
Who is responsible for him in terms of family member or POA, guardian? That would be the person you report this to.
If there is a known diagnosis, but no care then this roommate need protection of the state.
You have no real power here except to report your roommate as a "senior at risk" to APS. If there is no Adult Protective Agency in your town you are down to:
1. A call to 911 for an ambulance for a confused roommate. You can tell them you don't know what is wrong but there is confusion. As the reporting person the hospital ER will contact you for information. Let them know he needs assessment and a social worker, and why.
2. If a call to EMS via 911 for an ambulance doesn't get transport to hospital call APS.
3. If you cannot find APS call your local police or sheriff to report that this roommate needs a visit/a wellness check, is confused.
Other than these options I don't see any recourse here.
If he's an alcoholic, you may need to be honest with the EMTs about this fact. Alcoholics are more susceptible to a specific type of dementia called Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome (aka "wet brain").
OR
You go online and find the contact number for Elder Services through your county's social services website. Tell them you need to report a vulnerable adult. Make sure to explain over and over that you are not responsible for him, you're not his caregiver or even friend. He's just a random roommate. Then when APS somes to check on him be sure to let them in and cooperate with whatever they ask.
Good luck!
It helps to know what age your roommate is. Are you related in anyway. More than just roommates or just roommates.
If your roommate does have ALZ or any Dementia, do you plan on caring for them? If not, you and he have some decisions to make. If he has family, they need to help in that decision making. Are they going to care for him or will he need to be placed. Someone needs to be his POA. If you are just a roommate, it should not be you.
Don't wait till the last minute to do anything. Dementias can progress slowly or overnight they get worse.
If your roommate has a PoA or a family member you can contact, I would do this *because* he won't remember how to get in; and, his dementia (and behaviors/problems) will only get worse and you will eventually need to figure out your next roommate or your next apartment, anyway. So, why wait until a crisis?
What happens when your roommate forgets where he lives?
Or trusts the wrong person and gives them the key to your apartment?
Or gets scammed and then has no money to contribute to rent?
If he has no PoA or next of kin to contact then the next time he Sundowns and you are with him, call 911 and tell them there's "something wrong" with your roommate -- he might have a UTI or other *medical* emergency (do NOT tell them he has dementia, because they won't come, it isn't something they can fix and is not considered a medical emergency).
Once at the ER you tell the discharge planner that he is an "unsafe discharge" because he doesn't have anyone to care for him and you're just his "neighbor" and do not wish to take responsibility. Tell them how he forgets how to get into his apartment, etc. Whatever you do, do not take him back.
Then, ask to talk to a hospital social worker. Tell them he needs a legal guardian since he's a danger to himself, you can't help him and you don't know who his PoA or family is. Again, do not bring him back home, even if the hospital promises to "help you" find care. This is a lie they tell to get him discharged and out of their hair. Hopefully the social worker will get him on track to be discharged directly into a facility and will take over managing his care.
You can't do it, you have no power to do it. It's going to need to happen in the near future, anyway. So sorry, this is an uncomfortable situation but the best thing you can do for him is to alert his family, his PoA or social services.
1. Is he out with friends that could help him get in?
2. Is he impaired, alcohol or drugs? If so this can make the dementia much more of a problem and can worsen symptoms.
3. Is he driving? Firm believer that a person diagnosed with dementia should not be driving. There is a HUGE liability issue not to mention safety.
4. Are you at all responsible for your roommate? Are you a caregiver? Friend?
5. Are there any other occasions that are a problem for him? Is he able to do all ADL's, participate as he should as a roommate? (doing his share of chores and contributing to household expenses?)
If his symptoms are worsening it might be time to rethink the roommate arrangement. He may be getting to the point where he needs more Assisted Living and not living independently.
Maybe just leave the door unlocked?
Let me ask you (just because I am so enjoying our conversation)--
How is it going over all out there for your roommate?
Any worries at all he could get lost?
Any other problems or concerns you have regarding his behavior?
Just curious. Hoping you will fill us in a little bit more.
Otherwise, will just welcome you to this Forum. Happy reading.
I think you'll find lots of useful information.
A person with AD and dementia really needs supervision at all times and to live with a caregiver type person. He's not ideal as a regular roommate because you will continue to see him exhibit behaviors that don't make sense. Like punching in 60 min on the microwave rather than 60 seconds and causing chaos. Dementia symptoms are not linear, and constantly change. If need be, move or try to find another roommate who does not need supervision.
Good luck to you.
This sounds more like he is trying to get your attention than a Alzheimer's/dementia issue. Time to sit him down to talk about this when he isn't so tired from being out late.