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My mother and father were married but lived separately. My husband and I lived with my mother for over 20 years in our house and my brother lived across town rarely visiting. My mother has been showing some signs of dementia for a few years now but nothing that was extremely concerning. My father passed away and within less than a month my mother whom I lived with and spoke to on the phone 3 or more times a day has stopped taking my calls after being moved to another state by my brother. I was unaware of this move until she was on a layover already in another state and she called me to say she wanted to come home. My mother gifted my brother "his half" of our house to thank him for helping her get the finances in order after dad died. Now, with her in another state my brother has kicked me out of my home (actually evicted me) leaving me and my husband homeless. I try to reach my mother and IF I'm able to the family members that she is now living with out of state monitors our call and hangs up the phone when the conversation turns to if she wants to come home. My mother has now begun to go along with saying that she is happy there and that I just need to find a new place to live and that she no longer owns the house. I am fairly certain my brothers wife is the one pulling his strings and from moments my mother says something before the phone is hung up i have gathered that my sister in law has changed my mother's life insurance policy. I need some direction as to where to start with this matter. I am now practically indigent. As my husband had an accident and became fully paralyzed about 2 months after my father passed away and has been in the hospital and care facilities since.

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Where was your mother living previous to her move? Was she living with you or another place? I am confuses as to your post where it says you were living with your mother for over 20 years. How recent has this new living arrangement been with your mother? Did your brother also move? What pretense did your brother have when he took you mother on a trip with the layover that you had no idea about?

Sorry for your situation but there is a lot to unscramble with an attorney or social services to help you find services and a job. I am assuming you are not in retirement yet.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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I'm sorry; that sounds very stressful. But since it is your mother's house and your brother is handling her finances it sounds like there's not much you can do regarding it.

I suggest you contact your local Office of Aging and talk with them about what kind of benefits you might be able to receive, and for help finding a job. Also your local women's shelter for similar assistance. And as Alva said, the social workers involved in your husband's care.
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Reply to MG8522
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Yes it was my mother's home and yes she has been showing signs of dementia for some time now but refuses to keep any appointments that would medically determine either way.
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Reply to Babymuddog
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I am so very sorry.

Your husband is now hospitalized and in care and I know has Social Workers. I would access them to ask for help in getting your own guidance within the system.

You have really no questions for us as your mother is now in the care of your brother and seems happy to be so.
Certainly we strangers can have no answers for a situation this complex.

Your note to us DOES make the point to others that moving in with relatives, not having your own home, job, independence, can lead, when the elder "disappears" as in this case or by death, to life in a shelter.

This isn't something that we have not seen before.
Please call your local counsel on aging, check the shelter system, which may help you get established, start with beginner job (care facilities are screaming out there for all KINDS of help from kitchen to cleaning to care; you can work your way up with good job ethics). Try to move up with rental in someone else's home. Get all the pointers you can for help in this.

I am so very sorry for your husband and his health. I wish you well.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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My guidance is that you take your evidence to an attorney who is experienced in elder financial abuse to see if you have a winnable case. If you do "win", what do you win exactly? You will need to answer that question: everything you've mentioned in you post is about your Mom's money or assets. I'm sorry that due to other circumstances that you are now "practically indigent" but at your ages you should not have been dependent on your Mother for financial security, anyway. Maybe your brother recognized this and you are creating a narrative about his motives regarding your Mom that suits your situation? If you think your Mom has the beginnings of dementia then please know people with dementia can come up with some very inaccurate information and also delusions -- hence maybe she didn't give your brother anything and your SIL did not change the beneficiary on her life insurance policy.

Maybe your brother believes that you are the one that was manipulating your Mom and living off of her.

This is a "she said/he said" post and there's nothing we can tell you except to take your evidence to an attorney if you want your Mom (and her money/assets) back.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Babymuddog Mar 24, 2025
I was not living off of my mother. I was making sure her money was put to paying the bills and keeping food in the fridge as she has always been known to spend money without thought of paying bills first. I had a good job that I lost due to having to miss so much during all of this that was going on. My brother did not even come visit our mother until my dad passed away.
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It’s a bit confusing, you start by saying your mother lived with you in your home for over 20 years, then say mom deeded the home to brother and he evicted you. So it never was your home, other than residing there, it was legally mom’s home, is that correct? Unless mom has a dementia diagnosis she is free to do as she pleases, including pick a golden son to oversee her finances and make decisions for her. You can call Adult Protective Services to check on her, but unless they find abuse or neglect nothing will happen. I’m sorry for your hurt in this and hope you can move forward with a new plan for your own future
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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