Curious to know about how much time POAs gave adults siblings to pick up items from family home that is being sold? I got an unreasonable request (live about 1,000 miles away and on travel restrictions due to being active duty) with little flexiblity to change it. That was the first time I heard the POA and realtor were planning to sell it. The realtor told me the POA and her have been working on this plan for months.
I do not know if the realtor who wants it on the spring market is behind this. If this benefits my parent who is in assisted living then I try to focus on that.
I admired reasonable POAs as I assume selling the family home of over 50 years or how many years is not an easy decision especially with push back from family members with nostagia.
Any advice for dealing with grief associated with this loss? With time like all grief I assume it gets better .
Please only kind, supportive, professional answers
This situation is always difficult emotionally and logistically. It's difficult for everyone involved. But the sale of the home is for your parent's benefit and can only be delayed so long. Try to compromise. This is no time to make things even more difficult with legal action.
I'm not sure who would pay for shipping. I dropped things off at the UPS store and had them pack and ship to my siblings.
If you want several of the bigger things, call a local mover, tell them you want several things driven out to you and tell them you are active duty. They should cut you a price break.
I found the realtors to be like vultures. They were extremely aggressive in wanting to list the house (so they get the commission.) Big picture however it did help to settle the estate faster by having the real estate sold.
Thank you for your service.
Considering what’s going on with the stock market . It’s best to sell now .
As far as grieving over selling the home , I really don’t know what to tell you , other than , the house is not a museum to be put on hold until you get there .
The house was your home because parents lived there . They don’t live there anymore. I’m sure there are family photos through the years you can look at . Perhaps have copies made of those older photos while you were growing up there.
"Considering what’s going on with the stock market . It’s best to sell now ."
Is it, though? What does the stock market have to do with selling a home or not?
"Though they varied in length and severity, the market always recovered and went on to new highs."
Source: https://www.morningstar.com/economy/what-weve-learned-150-years-stock-market-crashes
I'd be careful about giving posters financial planning advice... if they want crowd sourced advice from a public forum they can go to bogleheads.org
Or if your siblings are agreeable they can do the facetime tour of the house with you and then just have the organizer handle shipping or storing the items for you.
This could help with your grief as you will get to literally see the house a last time before it's sold. Ask siblings or the organizer to take pictures for you. If you are on good terms with your siblings, this could be a nostalgic process that you share together that will help you process the change in situation.
Thank you for your service.
You could also do a hybrid -- ship smaller items, store larger ones.
I'm sorry you are feeling rushed through this process. I don't blame you. I just had to do this with my Aunt's home in FL, where she lived with her sister, both of whom helped to raise me. They also lived in that FL home for 50 years and when the 2nd Aunt passed away I went down there with my Mom and stayed for 8 weeks cleaning it, repairing it, and figuring out what to do with the contents that seemingly no one wanted (my Aunts never married and had no kids of their own and I'm an only child). They had a porcelain doll collection (about 75) many that they hand-sewed beautiful clothes for, many that were vintage, if not antiques, in great condition. But... I was not able to sell them and the thrift stores didn't want them. I did end up giving away lots of things but at least they went to people who would cherish them.
That house is now unoccupied since I live in MN and have 3 sons who don't want any of their things. We're not sure if we will keep it or sell it. I'm organizing a one-last time reunion there to scatter my Aunt's ashes with my sons present. After that... who knows.
My basement is already full of stuff from my husband's 2 sets of grandparents, both his parents (divorced), and now my Aunts' stuff. It is overwhelming. But at least you seem to want the items.
I would either ask the PoA to box up what you want and maybe hire someone to drive it out to you, or otherwise rent a storage unit. If you think you'd be able to make a trek out there just to have one brief last time inside the home, I'd ask for this favor given your circumstances, but it needs to happen reasonably soon.
May you receive comfort and peace in your heart as you mourn the passing of this era.
When it was time to sell my parent's house (didn't grow up in that one), I took was I felt was most important. Nostalgia is tough. I had to be reasonable with my thinking. I donated the furniture as none was past-down generation furniture. My folks had some lamps I loved and unique bookends, so those are now in my house. Some frame wall pictures. But I have a ton of old photos and lots of memories to keep me happy.
If necessary you can rent a storage unit, move everything to the unit then go through it when it is more convenient.
BUT out of sight, out of mind...until the bill comes each month.
Or you can hire a mover and have everything brought to your home so you can go through it.
I would like to think that all the siblings, if there are m ore than the 2 of you, would find a convenient time to meet and go through things together. That is not always possible.
Are there things you actually want? If so request that those items be sent to you. Again a mover would be the way to go if you can't get there to put things in a U-Haul.
The sale of property would benefit your parent in AL as those assets would then be used for paying the cost of AL as well as other expenses.
Remember the "things" are just that "things"
What hurts is the loss of a parent, their independence, the realization that they are not going to be here forever and the sharp reality of our own mortality.