Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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What do you do when your LO loses all touch with reality?My wife is not there yet but she is very clearly heading in that direction.It has me scared for her as to what is to come.And scared for me as to what I may have to do.
Your wife may lose touch of your "reality" but she won't lose touch of her reality. It will just be different and it will be you that will have to meet her in her new reality and not expect her to join you in yours. Does it require extra doses of patience? Of course. But it doesn't have to be scary for either of you, as long as you educate yourself about dementia and all it entails. I always recommend the book The 36 Hour Day as a great place to start along with watching some videos from Teepa Snow(a dementia expert)on YouTube. And if and when her care gets to be too much for you, don't hesitate to either hire in-home help or look into placing her in a nice memory care.
No need to be scared since there are solutions, if you accept them.
1) if she doesn't have a legally assigned PoA this needs to happen immediately. Even if you think she's not cognitively capable, it's the attorney who determins "capacity", and from my personal experience the bar is low: she can have some memory issues and mild dementia and still be able to assign someone. FYI if she assigns you, she should also assign a back-up who is a generation younger than herself.
2) Once she has a PoA then she needs to have a physical by her primary doctor to make sure she isn't having cognitive decline due to another health problem: UTI, diabetes, COPD, high blood pressure, vitamin deficiency, dehydration, stroke, tumor, to name a few. She does not need to go to a neurologist unless her primary thinks she has a treatable neurological issue. She also needs to be seen by her primary in case she needs meds for depression, agitation, anxiety, which comes with dementia. Or she needs any other prescriptions. If she gets a formal diagnosis of dementia, you ask her primary to put this on clinic letterhead and sign it, since you will need this to manage her medical and financial affairs. This is how you activate the PoA authority. If she doesn't assign a PoA then you will need to pursue guardianship through the courts, which onerous, expensive and time-consuming. Or, she will become the ward of a court-assigned legal guardian. Everyone needs to have a legal guardian in order for someone to legally make decisions on that person's behalf. Banks, for starters. Doctors, investments firms, life insurance providers, etc.
3) You review your finances to see if in-home aids or facility care will be affordable should you feel the need for this (and it doesn't matter if she doesn't like it -- the caregiving needs to accommodate the caregiver or else you'll burn out).
4) Educate yourself about dementia, if that's what her ultimate diagnosis is. As suggested by others, Teepa Snow has some very good videos on YouTube and provides strategies for caregivers to help interacting with our demented LOs more productive and peaceful. You can no longer react to your wife as her prior self. That person is leaving. You are now the only one who is flexible and can change.
5) Make sure your own legal ducks are in a row for your own aging and decline since no one gets to stay here forever.
As long as you have a plan that you know you is in place, you can go about life. Come back to this forum when you need more support or suggestions.
Oh, Golly. No one likes that word "reality". Worse yet is the word "Unpredictablity." Can you tell us more? How old is wife and when was she diagnosed? How old are you? What modes of education in regard to this disease have you begun? There's a wealth of info online. There are great tapes from Teepa Snow to watch on youtube. There are support groups on Facebook and elsewhere online.
Can you tell us more about you lives, when all this began, and what a day looks like now?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Does it require extra doses of patience? Of course. But it doesn't have to be scary for either of you, as long as you educate yourself about dementia and all it entails.
I always recommend the book The 36 Hour Day as a great place to start along with watching some videos from Teepa Snow(a dementia expert)on YouTube.
And if and when her care gets to be too much for you, don't hesitate to either hire in-home help or look into placing her in a nice memory care.
1) if she doesn't have a legally assigned PoA this needs to happen immediately. Even if you think she's not cognitively capable, it's the attorney who determins "capacity", and from my personal experience the bar is low: she can have some memory issues and mild dementia and still be able to assign someone. FYI if she assigns you, she should also assign a back-up who is a generation younger than herself.
2) Once she has a PoA then she needs to have a physical by her primary doctor to make sure she isn't having cognitive decline due to another health problem: UTI, diabetes, COPD, high blood pressure, vitamin deficiency, dehydration, stroke, tumor, to name a few. She does not need to go to a neurologist unless her primary thinks she has a treatable neurological issue. She also needs to be seen by her primary in case she needs meds for depression, agitation, anxiety, which comes with dementia. Or she needs any other prescriptions. If she gets a formal diagnosis of dementia, you ask her primary to put this on clinic letterhead and sign it, since you will need this to manage her medical and financial affairs. This is how you activate the PoA authority. If she doesn't assign a PoA then you will need to pursue guardianship through the courts, which onerous, expensive and time-consuming. Or, she will become the ward of a court-assigned legal guardian. Everyone needs to have a legal guardian in order for someone to legally make decisions on that person's behalf. Banks, for starters. Doctors, investments firms, life insurance providers, etc.
3) You review your finances to see if in-home aids or facility care will be affordable should you feel the need for this (and it doesn't matter if she doesn't like it -- the caregiving needs to accommodate the caregiver or else you'll burn out).
4) Educate yourself about dementia, if that's what her ultimate diagnosis is. As suggested by others, Teepa Snow has some very good videos on YouTube and provides strategies for caregivers to help interacting with our demented LOs more productive and peaceful. You can no longer react to your wife as her prior self. That person is leaving. You are now the only one who is flexible and can change.
5) Make sure your own legal ducks are in a row for your own aging and decline since no one gets to stay here forever.
As long as you have a plan that you know you is in place, you can go about life. Come back to this forum when you need more support or suggestions.
Worse yet is the word "Unpredictablity."
Can you tell us more?
How old is wife and when was she diagnosed?
How old are you?
What modes of education in regard to this disease have you begun? There's a wealth of info online. There are great tapes from Teepa Snow to watch on youtube. There are support groups on Facebook and elsewhere online.
Can you tell us more about you lives, when all this began, and what a day looks like now?