Mom ended up in Emergency staying in hospital Doctor suggested NH. Really stressed out my sibling is not respecting me when I have an appointment with my stepdad and Social worker. She was not ask or phoned to come to the appointment. Anyways, long story short she told me she was going to the appointment no matter what. I asked her to please respect me the appointment was set up for just for my stepdad and I since I was the soul Caregiver for the past three years. She start yelling at me and freaking out calling me every name and blaming me for past issues of her own doing! My Mom is in the hospital and I am going there three times a day just to encourage her to eat I am so stressed it's not funny, please if any one on here has the time to read past post to understand a little more of my situation please give me some advice.
I don't at all blame you for wishing to be distanced from your sister. You sure don't have to invite her over for lunch or to socialize with her. It just seems to me that excluding her from the meeting may cause more future turmoil. Let her hear for herself what the social worker is suggesting.
What do you think would be the harm of having her there. The social worker isn't going to let the conversation deteriorate into accusations from the past. She or he has a job to do, is getting paid to get it done, and won't put up with nonsense. This meeting will be about what is best for your mother. The social worker will keep it to that topic. Let the SW know ahead of time that Sister will be there, but hasn't participated in Mom's care and does not have a role in the decisions.
Is this appointment with the Social Worker to discuss Mom's long term care needs?
My advice would be to invite your sister. Inform the social worker ahead of time about the family dynamics and that Sister might be hostile. I don't see attending the meeting as "taking over" and it may be easier to deal with Sister with a third party there to facilitate.
Do you agree with the recommendation for Mom to be in a nursing home? Is her husband OK with that recommendation?