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My mom is a toxic, narcissistic person who has caused me pain and irreparable damage that I haven't been able to recover let alone forgive or forget. We were no contact for close to 2 years, but then she ended up in the hospital. She has gaslit me all my life, most currently failed to mention that the auto payment from her bank account for $45 a month from her account to my account was for her cell phone that was in my name. She told her brother she didn't know what it was for and then closed her account and stopped paying me, which being uninformed caused me to become overdrawn on my account. Eventually it was resolved, when paid me back but in the meantime we re-established contact and then she cut off what little support she had from others. I had become friends with a woman who happened to be a CNA. She was living with a hospice patient whose family immediately relieved her from duties at 11p at night putting her out in the street. I offered her a couch and eventually she landed at my mom's. She was and is a blessing. Unfortunately she and I have had a falling out that I just can't reconcile. As much as I want to set aside political differences, it hasn't been possible. She would say she would be open to dialogue and factual debate but then turn around and accuse me of oppressing her, and trying to control her. I tried dropping the topics, biting my tongue, but it became so offensive and hostile as though I was the enemy for pointing out she voted against her own self-interests (as well as mine and my mother's) after she insulted me for being a liberal by describing someone as an "obvious liberal" because they were cultured, enjoyed good food and good music, which was just incredible arbitrary and things became so heated she threatened me with physical harm. I have exchanged a few texts, but now she stopped responding.
She mentioned moving out of state (to her ex-abuser boyfriend) which I suggested may be a bad decision, which of course wasn't received well. My mom isn't rich, she doesn't have much to offer and not much to take. The caregiver is kind and providing good care, I know that, but I am not sure what I'm going to do when she leaves. I asked her to let me know when so I can prepare, but what can I do? This woman confuses me with her sister who tried to break up the family for confronting her father with allegations of sexual abuse. She's always compared me to her, but recently actually confused me with her. And ironically, I was abused by my stepfather and made the same allegations which she initially refused to believe but later he admitted to her. She left me with him when she divorced him when I was 17.

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Larry, your job is to take of YOUR health first and that of your neurodivergent son.

Your mom is the responsibility of whatever state she resides in
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Wow! I wasn't prepared for all of that but I guess I should have been. I agree and agree whole heartedly. I have returned to no contact because I realize that it is no benefit to anyone for me to be involved. I regret saying anything about anything to anyone. But I was friends with her before any of this started. I was friends with her ex, but stood by her side and essentially am no longer friends with him because of it. I have been in a DV relationship. One person stood up for what was right which encouraged me to stand up for myself. That's why I was and am concerned. Either way, I lost 2 friends. But honestly I know my mother is better off without me. My only concern is who to call to prepare for the transition of her care. What is APS? TO clarify. I was sexually abused at 4 years old and again at 9 years old. When I was 16 I confronted my stepfather and told my mom. During my mothers childhood, her sister was molested by their father, almost certain she witnessed it but she was so traumatized and/or jealous of the contact and the minimum confused and unable to process it. Their father was an alcoholic, was sexually abusive to her sister and physically abusive to her. Their mother wasn't able to protect or defend, unable to leave him and therefore refused to admit anything requiring her (my mother) to deny and corroborate her sisters story. So, she put her blinders on and pretended to see nothing. She's done that all my life, never faced reality, never able be direct so much so, she has dementia now. So when I say she confused me for my aunt, she displaced all her hate and resentment on to me. Accused me of treating her like her sister, even though I was an only child and didn't understand what that meant. She was my mom. This wasn't even my first trauma, that was when I was 18 months old and she got mad at my father, left to go to the store and didn't come back. My father tracked down the car and then took me out of state to live with my grandparents until their divorce was finalized. I was returned to her custody about 6 months later. So at 18 months old not only did I lose my mom and my dad, I had never even met my grandparents. There were no other children I that house. I don't "remember" this time, but I feel this sadness and loss deep in my soul. I always have not understanding. I learned when I was 30 she abandoned me. I was told he had stolen me, not exactly the whole story. I've been in therapy. For years. Yes, I am looking for another therapist. It let me tell you, it's traumatic just going through the process. I've "lost" 2 good ones in the past. For no good reason, 1 due to insurance and 2 due to her changing careers. It's exhausting. Believe it not, I have a successful adult son who lives with me. He's on the spectrum but he works full-time, he's healthy and mentally healthy and loves me. And absolutely refuses to have contact with his grandmother because she thinks she can demand respect and tell him how to act and guilt trip him into having a relationship. It hasn't worked and I let him have those boundaries.
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Reply to BizLarry
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Geaton777 Dec 28, 2024
Congrats on seeing and defending your boundaries!

"My only concern is who to call to prepare for the transition of her care. What is APS?"

Adult Protective Services. Each county has this (like CPS, Child Protective Services)

You don't do anything more than call APS to alert them to your Mom as a vulnerable adult. Then step back and prepare to do nothing further. APS will do it for you. The more you insert yourself, the longer it will take for your Mom to get appropriate care. And, it would mean crossing over your own boundary. No. Don't do it. Be 100% uninvolved.

I wish you success in finding a better therapist. I'm so sorry for the trauma of your past. Have you ever tried EMDR? My good friend is an expert who teaches therapists how to conduct EMDR therapy for their trauma clients. I've never heard a bad thing about it.
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You should have never taken on the responsibility of your Mom. When you got that call,you should have told the caller then that you and Mom are estranged. That she abandoned you as a minor. That you have no POA so the State will have to do her care. But this is now and do as Burnt said. Call APS. You are not obligated to care for your mother.
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BurntCaregiver Dec 27, 2024
@JoAnn

Free live-in homecare and the OP had to get into it with the politics.

Some people just can't walk past a pot of sh*t without stopping to stir it.
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Your mother gets a free live-in CNA and you can't keep your political views to yourself?

You should have been agreeing and nodding your head with everything she says no matter how asinine and ridiculous it sounds. She works for free for your mother. She wasn't going into the voting booth with you, was she? So you can have any political view you want and vote any way you want.

So here's what happens if the caregiver leaves. You call APS and tell them your mother with advanced dementia living alone and you are not her caregiver. Let her become a Ward of the State and they will get her placed in a memory care facility. Or hire a live-in caregiver which isn't possible unless she can afford it. You don't owe your mother anything if she was as nasty to you as you say, and I believe you.
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lkdrymom Dec 27, 2024
I'm glad someone pointed that out. This is why I won't discuss politics with others because they get irrational if someone else believes differently than they do. This woman just lost out on a caregiver over differing points of view. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. I don't feel sorry for the OP if this is the reason she is losing her helper.
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Firstly, there's a lot of discussion in your post about old childhood trauma that remains an issue for you now that you are a grownup.

Secondly, there's a confusing mixing-up of your own financial and practical needs (the phone situation) with your mother's.

Thirdly, there is a tendency to mistake a professional hired caregiver as someone whose political and relationship-lives are in some way your personal business.

I believe you should remove yourself from the life of your mother and return to the estranged situation pre-existing. This acknowledged toxic relationship in which the boundaries for you both are ill-defined seems to me not conducive to an independent and whole life for you.

IMHO you should perhaps consider a good cognitive therapist in this coming new year (none of that online nonsense). Move the focus to your own healings, well-being, and to living a life of wholeness and independence that you can be proud of.

It's unclear to me, as you discuss it very little, what exactly your mother's current needs are. But it seems she is mentally fit to make her own decisions. If you feel, however, that she is in any way a senior at risk, do refer her to APS as you exit her premises.

I would say that nothing good can come of the present circumstances, in the little you tell us here. It seems harmful to all involved and quite chaotic. I think you haven't any tools to address the many issues mentioned, and that they are created out of poor boundaries for all involved.

I would bow back out of the situation, return to your own life, and work on your own healing in this new year. I wish you the very best of luck in that.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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First of all, working for free is illegal. It sounds like this caregiver is in a bind and was running from the boyfriend. Now, that you've had a big blow out with the caregiver and she threatened to leave, it is out of your hands.
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Reply to Scampie1
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This sounds like a toxic environment all around, so do be prepared for the caregiver to leave. No one is obligated to be a caregiver for free, nor to be treated disrespectfully. This applies to your treatment of the caregiver, and to your mother's treatment of you.

You need to make a decision about whether, when the caregiver leaves, you want to help your mother find a new one, who will be paid, in which case you should start searching now; or whether you will leave it to your mother to find a new caregiver herself, in which case you should tell her now that you won't be helping her find someone new, and that you have treated the caregiver disrespectfully so she probably will leave.
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Reply to MG8522
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casole Dec 27, 2024
I agree 100%. These are now the choices.
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"She mentioned moving out of state (to her ex-abuser boyfriend) which I suggested may be a bad decision, which of course wasn't received well."

Why do you care where the caregiver moves? It's none of your business and you can't control it anyway. You have enough on your plate with your poor health.

"This woman confuses me with her sister who tried to break up the family for confronting her father with allegations of sexual abuse. "

"She's always compared me to her, but recently actually confused me with her. And ironically, I was abused by my stepfather and made the same allegations which she initially refused to believe but later he admitted to her. She left me with him when she divorced him when I was 17."

Who are you talking about here? The caregiver? Or your Mom? Your post is confusing. Can you please come back and clarify it?
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notgoodenough Dec 27, 2024
I agree, this post is very confusing. I'm not sure at times to whom the poster is referring, mother or caregiver?

Maybe this CNA would be willing to stay with mom if she were offered wages for her services, like most CNAs would expect to happen. Were I in this CNA's shoes, I would leave as well.
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