Follow
Share

There is always a catastrophe when I'm at my Mom's house. She has dementia. Either the washing machine isn't working right or there's a plumbing issue or the phone doesn't work. Nothing is broken. Everything works fine. Has anyone else experienced this as a caregiver?
I tell her that I will look at the problem then I tell her that I've fixed it. Then she'll come up with another issue.
Is this a common thing that happens with dementia?

Yep! I was literally just griping about this very things in another post. Constantly something isn't right. Everything is wrong. Nothing is ever enough. And everything is always too much.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to mommabeans
Report

I saw two sides of this with my mother:
- claims of things having broken when she couldn’t recall how to work them
- claims of things having broken for attention seeking

If we dared to have guests over or plans, she would fabricate a crisis. It was interesting how things typically “broke” while we were busy with something else. Or if I was injured, she suddenly had a much worse, yet mysteriously invisible injury. We figured she tested the waters to see if we’d still spring into action. She’s now in care.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Anabanana
Report

I often tell my Mom that her emergency is not my urgency. Then I walk away.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Geaton777
Report
lkdrymom Feb 23, 2025
Does it work?
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Actually at my House My Dad did break things all the time - Coffee Pots had to be replaced, Phone chargers , Chairs , Lost Keys , Lost Car , televisions , toilets .... Be Thankful Nothing is Broken .
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to KNance72
Report

Everything is an emergency with the elderly
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to lkdrymom
Report

Your mother is no longer capable of operating mechanical or electronic devices. If you allow her to keep living alone with dementia, there is likely to be a REAL catastrophe one of these days, God forbid. Like as in leaving the burner of the stove on with no water in the pot with the eggs because she forgot the steps involved in cooking. Or she gets into the chemicals and mixes together bleach and ammonia and passes out. Or she wanders off outside and gets lost. This is what dementia looks like and why the patients need 24/7 supervision.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

Yes. In fact, I got my Mom a special phone (Raz Mobility phone) so that I can control who she calls, who can call her and when. She was calling customer service people all day long, demanding I return her various appliances that she believed were broken or defective. Now I've stopped buying her any replacement appliances. She is now on Lexapro for anxiety, which helped a lot.

Yes, it is common with dementia. Your Mom can't figure out why she can't get her familiar appliances to work, so the answer for her is that they are broken, not her.

Get her on meds and hopefully that will help. If she brings up broken appliances, try to distract her, redirect the conversation or walk away. Don't engage in pointless conversations. If she's doing things like melting pots on her stove or things in her microwave, then maybe it's time for AL or MC.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

I had a client like this for about three months. It didn't take long to figure out that this lady needed more help beyond my care. Even as a trained aide, it was a lot of wear and tear for one person. Trying to get her to appointments was a challenge since she had to have a particular sweater to match her vest and a certain pair of boots. We would have to get her dressed two hours before the appointment. Then she would try to change her mind about going. We finally made it to these appointments. Boy, could she showtime! However, after a few minutes, the doctors would catch on. Once we were back home, she was okay. The next day, she had one of the worst sundowning episodes I ever experienced from any of my clients.
At least in a long term care facility, you have other aides available who can assist with these clients.

My biggest fear was this client getting disoriented and falling down the steps to her basement since she would get up and wander around the house after my shift ended. I would turn back her bed, get her in her pajamas, teeth care and other evening duties before leaving.

My mind was never at ease. One time I found a stack of paper near her space heater when I arrived for my shift. The kitchen was in an upheaval from her rummaging through paperwork and other trash she had saved. I had to clean up a mess while she yelled and screamed before I could even start cooking.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Scampie1
Report

Yes, because her failing brain leaves her unable to handle things that a healthy brain does. She shouldn't be living alone, for safety reasons. She'll be safer and calmer and avoid any actually catastrophic episodes if she goes to memory care.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to MG8522
Report

Tell me that your mother with dementia is not living alone on her own?
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Of course it's a common thing with dementia, as your moms brain is now permanently broken and she can no longer figure things out, so to her these things are all broken.
It's obvious that your mom should no longer be living by herself, and needs to placed in a memory care facility, where she will be kept safe, and won't have to worry about what's working and what's not in her house, and where you don't have to keep running over there for these non issues.
It will be a win win for all involved.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter