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I'm trying to visualize what to expect. My mom now 91.5 has never been the stay in bed type. She tries greatly still to do everything herself. She is falling more frequently now, but has gotten very extremely lucky.
She has artery disease and leg ulcers on one leg now that is swelling and getting progressively worse. We are waiting for a big fall, and it's not a nice feeling, because she is so unbelievably frail. Can becoming bedridden happen any other way?

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My brother is 80 yrs old and has been "bedridden" for the last 3 yrs. He cannot manage any ADLs and lives in a care facility where everything is done for him. We pay extra to have him transitioned to a wheelchair via Hoyer lift (he weighs 200+ lbs) for a little while almost every day when he cooperates. He doesn't always cooperate. His faculties have declined to the point where he no longer wants/is able to read, but he watches TV probably 12 hours/day. His caregivers keep him scrupulously clean and he has a special air mattress. So being bedridden does not automatically mean the end is near. As I read your post, I am more concerned about the leg ulcers and peripheral artery disease!
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Reply to Questor
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So many good answers. Thank you!
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Reply to Jax123
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Being in bed full time makes much more work for the caregivers and causes issues like bedsores to come into play. It weakens a person far faster than staying upright. The falls are inevitable and endlessly frustrating. My dad only became bedridden his final five days of life, prior to that he walked with a rollator for years with a slow, shuffling gait. Thankfully, no broken bones ever. You’re correct, no fun waiting on an event that brings change, but it always comes. Keep mom moving as long as possible and accept what you cannot change. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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In the meantime make sure Mom has good non skid shoes.
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Reply to brandee
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I am going to ask the tough question
Does your mom have advance directives?
What does she want you to decide for her if she can not make the choices for herself?
Do you have POA?

Now to your question, dilemma
If she is willing to use a wheelchair and she can still transfer from bed to wheelchair or wheelchair to bed then she will not necessarily be "bedbound".
Or before the wheelchair will she use a walker?
there are transition phases before one is confined to bed.

If mom is living alone having someone there might help. while it may not prevent the "big fall" it will allow 911 to be called so she can be helped right away rather than laying on the floor for hours or even days before someone finds her.
And if mom is living with you or a sibling just know that a fall WILL happen and it is not anyone's fault most falls can not be prevented they happen even if you are right next to the person. (you can learn how to guide someone down so there is less of a chance of a more severe injury. And some are Break and Fall not a Fall and Break)
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I'll add it is more challenging for someone to eat and digest properly when they are propped up in bed. When you are sitting in a chair upright your body digests things better through gravity if that makes sense.

Take things day by day and enjoy each day.
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Reply to brandee
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If she's not cooperative or has cognitive impairment so that there's no reasoning with her, and you are not her PoA or legal guardian, you most likely will need to wait for a medical crisis that will send her to the ER.

If this happens, make sure they know she is an "unsafe discharge" and that she is not cooperating with your care attempts. Then ask to talk to a hospital social worker to discuss having her transitioned into a facility where she will get appropriate care. If this agitates her you may need to tell her "Therapeutic fibs" like, "This is just temporary until your ulcers are healed and you get PT for your balance problems -- then *your doctor* will allow you to return."

Resist any promises by the hospital to pressure you to discharge her back to where she was living, or to live with you. THis is a lie they tell to move people out of their hospital beds faster.

If you are her PoA make sure to take all the paperwork with you whenever you are dealing with her medical team or doctors or facilities.

I wish you success in helping her get the appropriate care she needs.
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Reply to Geaton777
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When Mom could no longer stand or take a step then I kept her in bed. We pushed movement throughout the process of 20 years of alzheimers. I'd say the last 18 months she was bedbound. Overall we only used a wheel chair about 4-5 months and that was when she could still stand and take a few steps.

I'll say this. While she could still move and walk from the bedroom to the kitchen etc her health was better. Once you move to bedbound things decline fast.

There are risks to everything. Being bedbound brings a higher level of care to prevent decubitus sores.

A lot depends on your care philosophy. Mom always loved walking and being outside so we pushed walking for years. Mom never fell. Her brain simply forgot how to take a step.

People also like to do things for themselves and it gives value to their life.

Good luck. There are no easy decisions in this journey.
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Reply to brandee
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There's honestly no way that you can predict how this will go.
As an 83 y/o ex RN I can tell you that ELDERS FALL. Period. It is a brain thing, and our balance goes; we are unsteady on one foot, can't catch ourselves when we trip, don't lift our legs well, and on and on and on.
Falls are often the beginning of the end. One was for my own mom at 93.
You can do all you can to PREVENT falls and I am certain you are, but they will come and you cannot predict what injury will and won't happen.

This is a day at a time. Do what you can about prevention. When something happens you are a part of the medical and rehab team that works together to do what hopefully will work best for a unique as a thumbprint situation.

Best of luck. I am like your Mom. When I can no longer be on my feet I wish to go. Be certain your advance directives are done as to mom's wishes and be certain that you discuss all this with HER openly and directly.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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