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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I get the instinct to wrap someone up & bring home to you, but firstly - what's going on? What sort of medical attention or care does your MIL need right now?
Incontinent in terms of urine ? stools ? or both ?
I don't know your financial situation, but it seems like you might need : (1) a urinary catheter and catheter bags for the trip. (2) a potty of some sort, so she can defecate. (3) a means of rehydrating her. If she can eat, then you might need several rehydration salts and nutrition shakes. (4) if she cannot eat very well and depending on her mobility...then you might need a nurse to set-up an IV site and help with mobilizing her ...doing that whilst travelling...might be expensive. (5) several changes of underwear. Alcohol wipes are a wonder for quick cleaning and maintaining hygiene.
Despite all of this...it would probably still be advised to carry some sort of easily washable covering to place on the sear of the plane / car / train / boat whatever you use to travel.
As for how do you do this whilst travelling. I am not too familiar with how medical travel works. Sorry. But I am sure airlines must have a way.
I think you should break the trip up into steps. That way you can have a chance to rest, wash and restock on cleaning supplies...whilst your Mom can sit stationary for a while to rehydrate/ get some nutrition.
My suggestion would be to get her to the nearest coastal city to Honolulu first and then make the second trip after she is settled in for a bit.
Your profile says that your finance's mom has become ill and you want to help with her care.
As Beatty says, in an emergency your first instict is to rush in to help, but you need to figure out first what makes the most sense for all parties involved.
Tell us a little more about her si; it will get you better advice.
Yes, please tell us more. What are her needs? Is the plan for her to move into a facility in Honolulu or to move in with you? (If the latter, have you thought through what that is going to mean?)
How old is the mother? Does she have a Dementia. What is wrong with her now she needs care?
I would say this undertaking is impossible with someone with incontinence and especially if Dementia is involved. Its 5 hrs by plane to LA and thats not counting in layovers. Another 6 by plane to Hawaii. So your going to try and change this woman in a lavatory hardly big enough for one person. And it really is not fair to the other passengers if she has an accident. If Dementia is involved, its like dealing with a 2 yr old. They get very overwhelmed and do not do well in strange places. It may be better to move to Fla. But think good and hard if you want to take on this responsibility. Who will be doing the majority of the care. Your finance needs to realize this is his mother and he shares in the responsibilities. Marriages have broken up because the wife is expected to do it all for a MIL. Are u ready to give up your life for this woman?
She isn’t your mother-in-law yet. She’s your fiancé’s mom and she’s his responsibility.
I get that you want to be supportive, but what happens when you all get to Honolulu? She probably needs 24/7 care. Forget being part of that. It’s so difficult that I can’t even begin to explain all the reasons you should run to the ends of the earth to avoid it.
I don’t see any way she can be moved that far anyway. I suggest that you help fiancé find a care home for her on the mainland, preferably in Atlanta where she is now. Any move to Honolulu should have happened before she became so sick. It’s too late now.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I get the instinct to wrap someone up & bring home to you, but firstly - what's going on?
What sort of medical attention or care does your MIL need right now?
I don't know your financial situation, but it seems like you might need :
(1) a urinary catheter and catheter bags for the trip.
(2) a potty of some sort, so she can defecate.
(3) a means of rehydrating her. If she can eat, then you might need several rehydration salts and nutrition shakes.
(4) if she cannot eat very well and depending on her mobility...then you might need a nurse to set-up an IV site and help with mobilizing her ...doing that whilst travelling...might be expensive.
(5) several changes of underwear. Alcohol wipes are a wonder for quick cleaning and maintaining hygiene.
Despite all of this...it would probably still be advised to carry some sort of easily washable covering to place on the sear of the plane / car / train / boat whatever you use to travel.
As for how do you do this whilst travelling. I am not too familiar with how medical travel works. Sorry. But I am sure airlines must have a way.
I think you should break the trip up into steps. That way you can have a chance to rest, wash and restock on cleaning supplies...whilst your Mom can sit stationary for a while to rehydrate/ get some nutrition.
My suggestion would be to get her to the nearest coastal city to Honolulu first and then make the second trip after she is settled in for a bit.
Best of luck.
I hope this helps.
Your profile says that your finance's mom has become ill and you want to help with her care.
As Beatty says, in an emergency your first instict is to rush in to help, but you need to figure out first what makes the most sense for all parties involved.
Tell us a little more about her si; it will get you better advice.
I would say this undertaking is impossible with someone with incontinence and especially if Dementia is involved. Its 5 hrs by plane to LA and thats not counting in layovers. Another 6 by plane to Hawaii. So your going to try and change this woman in a lavatory hardly big enough for one person. And it really is not fair to the other passengers if she has an accident. If Dementia is involved, its like dealing with a 2 yr old. They get very overwhelmed and do not do well in strange places. It may be better to move to Fla. But think good and hard if you want to take on this responsibility. Who will be doing the majority of the care. Your finance needs to realize this is his mother and he shares in the responsibilities. Marriages have broken up because the wife is expected to do it all for a MIL. Are u ready to give up your life for this woman?
I get that you want to be supportive, but what happens when you all get to Honolulu? She probably needs 24/7 care. Forget being part of that. It’s so difficult that I can’t even begin to explain all the reasons you should run to the ends of the earth to avoid it.
I don’t see any way she can be moved that far anyway. I suggest that you help fiancé find a care home for her on the mainland, preferably in Atlanta where she is now. Any move to Honolulu should have happened before she became so sick. It’s too late now.
Why don’t you ask for tips in management of your loved one’s health without either of you moving?
What do you mean by helping your fiancé care for his mom? I certainly hope that means finding facility care for her.