How does one deal with this? A primary caregiver gets a bad flu, the kind where you have to stay in bed for a week. In the meantime, the one being cared for, who is used to years of having every hourly need met, gets angrier and angrier. Incidentally, the one being cared for will not accept nor pay outside help. Whatsoever do you do?
The caree, the care recipient, might not want to accept outside help and might still resent paying for it. But that would be just too bad, wouldn't it, don't you think?
Dead or very ill. It doesn't matter which: the *point* is that the caregiver is hors de combat.
So if this is you, call in paid support (assuming you know where to get it). The bill goes to your mother. You can do the necessary arguing about it when you're better.
By the way. If you persist in driving yourself when you really shouldn't, it's far from impossible that your mother might have to do without you permanently, no joke. Harden your heart and your head and don't become one of the sad statistics.
I was fatigued and pretty much bed ridden for the better part of a week with a low grade intermittent fever, It hit me hard and fast so there was no way I could have hired someone at the last minute. I can't count on any friends or family to help out on a good day nor would I want to expose any of them to the highly contagious Flu. Consequently I never even asked anyone for help as that often results in disappointment anyhow,
I moved in with Mom 4 yrs ago which eradicated any travel time. If that was a factor I don't think I could have done it..I was THAT sick and would have had to move in for the duration of the illness despite the risk to Mom.
I was out of it for the first 3 days and have to admit they were the "lost days." I hydrated and toileted her when I did so for myself. Of course she got food as well....mostly hand-to-mouth kind of stuff that I always keep stocked. I prayed she wouldn't get it and she didn't. Oh yes and a kind soul from work insisted on dropping a huge pot of chicken soup on my doorstep. That was REALLY what got me through it!
So I guess the moral to my story is always be prepared for anything. Keep Meds groceries and supplies stocked not just for your LO but for you too. People sometimes find me "anal" or too proactive (is there such a thing?) and an "always thinking" kind of person but it has served me well especially as a Care Giver.
Be kind to everyone you meet as you never know who might step up to help. The "soup savior" person from work being the newest member of the team was finding it difficult to fit in. I supported her through that journey and she paid me back two fold when I most needed it.,,,without even having to ask her!
Your mother does not get to act like a spoiled child throwing temper tantrums just because she doesn't want anyone but you taking care of her. My goodness how selfish can a person be? Does she want to see you into an early grave??
Stand up for yourself or, in this case, go to bed, take care of yourself and get well. Then, make changes to this arrangement you have with your mother. Her needs are only going to increase.